The main manifestation of feelings is affection, usually associated with love and long-term relationships, because it tends to consolidate interpersonal relationships. Some research has shown that children who receive many displays of affection have lower levels of stress. Other studies have supported the hypothesis that relationships based on mutual expressions of affection contribute to increasing relational satisfaction.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Show Affection with Physical Contact
Step 1. Take note of the discomfort you feel in caressing, hugging, holding your hands, or cuddling
Many people feel embarrassed to seek physical contact, due to a character issue or a family legacy. Confront the problem with someone, put it in writing or set yourself the goal of getting used to expressing your affection.
Talk to your partner about it. By increasing communication, you will be able to establish a more intimate and affectionate relationship
Step 2. Set a time for cuddling your child or partner
The lack of displays of affection could be due to lack of time, so consider it a routine. You can indulge in pampering during the evening outings, while telling a story, and even while watching TV.
Step 3. Hold hands
Shaking hands, both with children and with your partner, is simple and strengthens bonds. Perhaps it is the most immediate way to show affection to another person.
Step 4. Physical contact is beneficial to health
It helps to release oxytocytin, the happiness hormone that lowers blood pressure levels, and to control cortisol, the stress hormone.
Step 5. Make a list of ways to express affection - in your mind or on a sheet of paper
Set yourself the goal of putting them into practice at various times of the week.
Although some articles report that it takes 21 days to consolidate a habit, in reality it is subjective. Keep referring to this list for several months in order to permanently change the way you express affection
Step 6. Try massages
A back or neck massage is the ideal way to show affection. Your partner could benefit and return the favor.
Method 2 of 3: Using Verbal Expressions to Communicate Affection
Step 1. Do not allow messages or emails to replace direct verbal communication
Make a phone call to communicate with someone, because it is a less impersonal system, even if it takes more time.
If you really have to use these ways of communication, end with a phrase like "I think of you" or "I miss you", instead of something generic
Step 2. Remember that long-distance relationships require more intense communication
If possible, use Skype or Google Hangout to make eye contact and pick up body signals as you speak.
Step 3. Compliment someone every day
If you compliment your children or your partner, they will feel more fulfilled.
Step 4. Say hello to your partner or children when they get home
Stop what you are doing and interact with them, to show your interest.
Step 5. Come up with a pet name for your partner or children
A cute nickname shows that you have a special bond.
Step 6. Don't forget to say “Thank you
” Think about everything the other person does for you or how it enriches your life. Make eye contact and express your gratitude in words.
Step 7. Don't think that "I love you" is the only phrase to express affection
If you don't use it, you should make sure it becomes an integral part of your regular vocabulary. Affirmations like "You are great" or "I'm lucky to have you around" are other ways to show affection.
Method 3 of 3: Get used to expressing affection
Step 1. Return the affection of others
Respond with a hug, a compliment, saying "I love you", giving a kiss on the cheek, or giving a high five. It is important not to hesitate in these circumstances.
Step 2. Do not allow one parent to be "affectionate" while the other is "strict
” In the past, it wasn't important for dads to be affectionate towards their children, but times have changed. Expressions of affection are a matter of habit, as well as of character.
Step 3. Make eye contact while cuddling, holding someone's hand, or giving a compliment
Studies have shown that staring someone you love in the eye (even an animal) can increase oxytocin levels.
Step 4. Do not hesitate to speak to a counselor or psychotherapist if you do not feel the need to express affection
Relationships require commitment; do not associate couples therapy with a sign of weakness. If you feel affection but cannot show it, an individual psychotherapy session would be preferable.
Step 5. Set big goals in small steps
Motivational strategists believe that good habits can be consolidated by thinking big about what you would like, for example to become a more loving parent. Then take baby steps, like spending 10 minutes a day chatting with your kids.
