Every day is a battle. Learning to negotiate them all is a challenge that each of us faces. If you want to be free and become the truest and most authentic version of yourself, you can actively start taking steps to live the life you want to lead. Take responsibility for your choices and live them to the fullest.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Part 1: Becoming Authentic
Step 1. Decide what absolute freedom means to you
Can you be free living in your parents' house? Can you be free if you were to be incarcerated or live under a totalitarian regime? Can you be free always working from nine in the morning to five in the afternoon? Only you can actively improve yourself and your place in the world, getting closer to the freer version of yourself.
For many people, moving to study outside means being free at last, no longer having to follow parental rules, play limited Xbox games or share a bedroom! But that of the university is still a world locked in a bubble, where meals are served after passing a card over a reader (and probably have been paid for by someone else) and you have to live by the rules that are dictated to you if you want to get promoted
Step 2. Try to understand what you want from life
Imagine that you are old by now. Looking back, what do you hope to see? A life full of pleasure? Of achievements? Of affection and success? Of endless parties? Do you want to be respected and feared or do you want to live quietly, in a solitary and contemplative way? Try to identify what will make you truly happy and what kind of life could guarantee you this happiness.
- Many people instinctively think that having large sums of money leads to unlimited freedom and happiness. While that might be true, try to think about what you would do if you had a lot of money. What would be easier specifically? What would you do if money wasn't an issue? How would you spend your time? Think about it to find your answer.
- If you find it hard to decide, try thinking about your ideal week instead of focusing on your perfect day (which, let's face it, we would all spend on the beach). After a week spent by the sea, we would probably end up getting sunburned and bored. What kind of work would you like to do? When would you dedicate yourself to it? Where is it?
Step 3. Find out what's stopping you from getting what you want
Are you already living your ideal life? If not, what is getting in your way? What would you have to change to get what you want? If you have everything you dreamed of, what should you do to support this lifestyle? Why aren't you doing what you want right now? What's holding you back?
- Again, it's easy to blame the lack of money: "If I had more money, I could buy that new guitar and my band would be great." We make excuses as to why we haven't been offered a lucrative record deal, forgetting that a new guitar has nothing to do with our ability to write a catchy melody, play well and work hard on stage.
- Of course, if you had more money you could go to Thailand, write as many novels as you want, or spend all your time gardening. But it's probably not money that's really holding you back from doing everything you want, it's you giving up what you might get, looking for excuses not to live as you wish.
Step 4. Identify the steps required to get what you want
It is difficult to find total freedom from one day to the next. It is likely that you will need to make some effort to achieve what you want and find the ideal environment to live in. What efforts are needed to be successful?
- We assume you have decided that your ideal life involves a small, close-knit family leading a quiet life in the countryside, growing vegetables. If that would give you the kind of freedom you want, what can you do now to actively move towards that reality?
- As a long-term project, you could start studying permaculture, learn about the flora and fauna of your area, or specialize in another field that would allow you to work in contact with nature. Where would you like to have a home? Would you build it or buy one? How much money should you save for this dream to come true?
- As a short-term project, you may want to inquire about rural cooperatives or other organizations you may visit and work in in exchange for room and board. Check out the World-Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms (WWOOF) website, a program that allows you to volunteer on organic farms located around the planet, gaining experience.
Step 5. Surround yourself with people you admire
Patterns to follow are essential for finding the real you. As much as we enjoy being alone and seeing ourselves as unique, it is important to surround ourselves with people who live the way we would like to live, not to imitate their behavior, but to learn from what they do, applying their lessons to our lives.
Avoid constantly comparing yourself to other people if this makes you down. Competition can be good for some and disastrous for other people. Know yourself and focus on your life. Worry about what you do
Method 2 of 3: Part 2: Being Responsible for Yourself
Step 1. Do what you can by yourself
If you can, go for it. If you don't need help, don't ask. Taking more responsibility in your life and being independent is a right and a duty if you want to live freely. Volunteer for what you believe in and participate in projects that may test your skills to improve yourself and your work.
- Try actively expanding the list of things you can do on your own. While it is true that you can take the car to the mechanic every time you need to change a light bulb, you will save money and become more autonomous if you can take care of it yourself.
- Alternatively, it's still okay to ask for help and learn to recognize when you need it. Being self-reliant doesn't mean being stubborn and ignoring your true abilities. If you don't know how to change a tire on your car, learn how to do it, so you can become freer and less dependent on others in the future. But, in general, be honest with yourself.
Step 2. Prioritize your wishes and needs
Identify what you want and what you need to live the ideal way. This way, you can put everything in perspective. Needs include everything that is needed to sustain a comfortable life. They include food, home and health care. Wishes could include travel, books, movies, and anything that can improve the quality of your life.
- In theory, if you think of these things in the form of a Venn diagram, putting what you want in one circle and what you need in another, you should see them almost overlapping, as if they were a single circle; this occurs if you have structured your life in an ideal way. If what you need and what you want match, you will live the happy and free life you want to lead. What could you change to align your circles?
- Try to establish a budget for all your needs and desires, trying to live in dignity. The less you have to worry about money, the less you have to think about it, so the better off you are and the freer you will be.
Step 3. Pay off all debts and live within your means
Student loans and various debts will be a considerable burden and it will be very difficult to live independently if you have not yet paid them. If you have to pay back money to several debtors, can you be truly free? It's an inevitable challenge for some, but you can help yourself move towards freedom by paying back what you owe and as quickly as possible. Also avoid accumulating other debts.
Step 4. Be the boss of your life
Find a job that you love and that allows you to live freely, doing what you want. Even if you have to answer to a real boss, you don't owe anyone anything if you don't want to. You decide what to do with your life. If you work in an environment that doesn't allow you enough freedom, find a new job.
- How you decide to define the job could be complicated. Many people work during the day doing something that doesn't necessarily represent their calling. Walt Whitman was an ambulance driver, but he also wrote some of the best American poems of all time.
- If your ideal life involves a 15-20 hour workload per week, it may be difficult to live in Manhattan or Los Angeles. Prioritize various aspects of your ideal life. If the desire to live in a cultural center outweighs your desire to work less, dedicate yourself to more professions, share a home with eight other people, and move to the Big Apple. If time is the most precious thing you have to you, find a place where the cost of living is lower and you can live at a more leisurely pace.
Step 5. Write your rules and stick to them
In your opinion, what are the criteria for a life well lived? What needs to be done to live in a dignified and respectful way in this world? One person's rules may not apply to everyone, but it's helpful to have your own rules. If you want to live freely and make your own decisions, write your own code, such as Klingon or samurai code, and follow it.
Method 3 of 3: Part 3: Live Fully Every Day
Step 1. Allow yourself to act impulsively, but only if that's the case
Want fried calamari and Bloody Mary for breakfast on Wednesdays? Why not? During the week, you don't have to eat milk and cereals and drink coffee. If it sounds like a good idea and it doesn't hurt you, go for it. Breaking the monotony and listening to your impulses can be a great way to lead a fresh and inspiring life. Assuming it's legal and not counterproductive to your goals, act on impulse. Live in the moment.
Sometimes allowing yourself to break little rules of protocol can be a good way to have more freedom in your world. Play your favorite song when you're standing in front of a jukebox, even if the other people sitting at the bar don't want to hear the same song over and over
Step 2. Visit new places
Expanding your perspective on the world and learning to embrace freedom every now and then requires you to step out of your comfort zone and experience something new. Visit new places, try new activities, eat new foods. Explore the world and fully experience the experience.
You can travel small or large. You don't have to backpack South America to travel and experience something new. Visit parts of the city you don't know or explore a town near the one you live in. Go to a place where you don't know anyone and assimilate everything you can. If a destination is new to you, it will be interesting, wherever you go
Step 3. Celebrate all your accomplishments, however small they are
Give yourself a chance to be proud of yourself. Allow yourself to celebrate your successes, but also the moments when everything goes smoothly. Spend time with people you like and give yourself good reasons to work hard.
Step 4. Start living freely now
The years pass, the experience accumulates, and you will get a precise idea: you are the only reason why happiness and freedom seem unattainable to you. Get rid of your preconceptions, your complexes and your fears. Clear your mind by allowing yourself to really know the world, make each day have its own meaning. Live the life you want to lead. You have no reason not to.
