Asking someone out on a date can be stressful and anxious. If you've ever felt overwhelmed by the idea or are unsure how to ask the question, don't worry, you're not the only one. The stress of asking someone out with you combined with the fear of rejection prevents many people from taking the first step in romantic relationships. In America, 64% of the population is single. Fortunately, there are some simple strategies and techniques you can use to get a date with someone and overcome your fears.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Approach a Stranger
Step 1. Look the other person in the eye and smile
Eye contact and smiling are two universal signs of flirting. Looking at someone across the room will let them know that you have noticed. By smiling, you show that you are willing to talk, that you might be interested or that you like the way he looks.
- You can meet interesting people at school, at work, at the grocery store, at the coffee shop or in other social situations.
- Smiling also releases endorphins that make you happier and can elicit positive reactions from other people.
- Maintain eye contact for two to three seconds before looking away. If when you look back at the person you notice that they are still staring at you, that's a good sign, because they try to catch your eye.
Step 2. Evaluate the other person's body language
You can get a lot of information from the way he looks at you and how he behaves. For example, if he turns his body and feet towards you and leans in your direction, he is showing interest. On the other hand, if she crosses her arms or legs and keeps her knees pointing away from you, she's probably not interested. Also consider these signs:
- If she smiles back, she probably doesn't mind your company.
- If he looks into your eyes for more than two seconds, he usually wants to talk to you.
- If she avoids your gaze, seems uncomfortable, or avoids you altogether, you don't care.
Step 3. Introduce yourself
Once you've established that the other person enjoys your attention, you can introduce yourself. Approach confidently, keeping your back straight and your shoulders back. Start with a handshake and saying hello. Start the conversation by talking about a topic that most people might be interested in.
- You can say, "Hey, my name is Marco. This band is great. What do you think?"
- Pay close attention to her body language and facial expression. If she seems disgusted, disinterested, or scared, don't show up.
Step 4. Start a conversation
Once you've introduced yourself and the other person seems available to you, you can start talking to them. Start with simple questions, like how your day went or if you live in the area. If the conversation seems to be starting to get boring, ask her to tell you about her. Listen to her actively, paying attention to what she says and her personality. Improve your communication and listening skills by making comments, avoiding judgments and responding appropriately. Instead of waiting for your turn to speak, reflect and listen to your interlocutor's words, showing him that you really care about arguing with him.
- You can improve your listening skills by summarizing or repeating something the other person said.
- For example, if she tells you that she liked an artist before she became famous, you can say, "So you mean you liked her underground sounds more than the pop twist she recently took, right?"
- Some ideal questions to start a conversation are: "What do you like to do in your spare time?", "What music do you like?", "Do you study?", "Do you like art?" or "What is your favorite movie?".
- Don't just ask dry questions. Integrate them into the natural flow of conversation. For example, you can say: "I just saw Guillermo Del Toro's latest movie and I found it fantastic. What movies do you like?".
Step 5. Listen to what the other person is saying
That way, you can tell if she's interested in meeting you again. If she talks to you about someone she's dating, she'll rarely agree to an appointment with you. If he seems happy and excited to talk to you, then chances are he wants to see you again.
If he avoids eye contact altogether and answers you in monosyllables, he is trying to make you understand that you need to leave
Step 6. Ask her out
If the other person seems comfortable and happy to you when they talk to you, there's a good chance they'll say yes if you invite them on a date. Ask for her contact information first, then try to propose to meet you in the future. The idea of asking the question may put you under stress, but don't wait too long or you may miss your only chance.
You can say, "It was a real pleasure talking to you. Would you like to do it again?"
Method 2 of 3: Ask a Person You Know to Date
Step 1. Tell her about her romantic life
Find out if the person you are interested in is dating someone or if they have no intention of looking for a partner at the moment. Since you already know her, it will be easier to introduce the subject without giving the impression that you are interested. Ask her questions about her relationship status and find out if she is ready to date someone.
- You can start the conversation by saying, "Have you been dating someone lately or would you rather be alone?"
- You can also say: "I thought you were still seeing Paolo. Are you not together anymore?".
- If you have noticed that the person is not in a steady relationship, you can ask him, "I have noticed that you don't go out with guys often. Are you trying to focus on studying?"
- Do what you can to talk to her so that she opens up and reveals her romantic wishes to you.
- In some cases, people are not dating because they are too busy with school or work, because they have just gotten out of a relationship, or because they enjoy the single life.
- Some people who are single may want to stay single.
Step 2. Find out if there is attraction
At this point, you already know that you like a person, but that doesn't mean that they reciprocate your feelings. Determine if there is anything sentimental between you by thinking about the moments you have spent together and if you have noticed any sexual tension when you are dating. Think about the things you have in common and how you feel when you are together.
- If you're in a platonic relationship, asking a friend out on a date may make her uncomfortable.
- If you often joke and flirt, an attraction probably already exists.
Step 3. Find out his interests
Learn more about the person you want to invite out. Ask her questions about the things that make her happy. Talk to her deeply and sincerely by opening up first. If you tell her what your passions are, she will feel encouraged to do the same. Find out what amuses her, what she dislikes and how she prefers to spend time with friends. Use this information to arrange a date that impresses her positively.
- If she likes being indoors, you can watch a movie on television instead of going out.
- If she likes to go to parties, you can take her to the club or bar.
- If you are interested in theater, you can find out about the shows in your area.
Step 4. Ask her out
Once you feel comfortable and confident enough, call or talk to her in person. Don't anticipate the event too much and don't get obsessed with what you have to say or do. You may create unrealistic expectations and be disappointed if things don't go your way. Just ask the other person if they'd like to go out with you, specifying the date and time.
- You can say, "Hey, I know you like musicals and Cats are coming to the theater soon. Would you like to go see him with me next Friday?"
- If she can't come with you because she already has a commitment, ask her if she's willing to put it off on a day when she's free.
Method 3 of 3: Ask for an Appointment Indirectly
Step 1. Ask the person to go out by SMS or on the internet
The stress of asking someone out can be unbearable for some. If that's the case, you can try to overcome the problem by inviting the other person to a date with a written message. The downside is that she doesn't have to answer and that due to technical problems she might not even read what you sent her.
- You can write, "Hey. I'm going to see Spiderman this weekend. Do you want to go together?".
- If he doesn't answer you, don't get obsessed. Wait a couple of hours before sending another message.
Step 2. Ask a friend to act as a liaison
If you don't have the contact information of the person you're interested in or are unable to step forward on your own, you can get a mutual friend to ask the question for you. Contact your friend and tell him you'd like to go out with that person. Tell him where you want to meet her and at what time so she can get your message across.
- You can say, "Hey, I really like Marco, but I'm too nervous to ask him out. Can you tell him if he'd like to meet me after school?"
- In some cases, if you let someone know you like them through a mutual friend, they'll be the one to come forward if they have the same feelings.
Step 3. Ask for an appointment indirectly during a conversation
There are a few ways to make inviting someone out on a date much easier. One of them is to formulate the question as a suggestion. For example, you can say, "What are you doing this weekend?". If the answer is "I don't know", you can reply: "I wanted to go to the cinema. Would you like to accompany me since you have nothing better to do?".
