You often have a hard time expressing what you think when you are at work, especially if you are naturally introverted or have low self-confidence. However, assertiveness is an important skill that allows you to communicate effectively in a professional setting. Psychologists have found that those who learn to communicate productively at work are better employees, have more free time, and build more balanced personal relationships. While assertiveness is not an innate quality, you have the opportunity to acquire this competence and this article will offer you a starting point.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Buy Self-Confidence
Step 1. Start gradually
If you don't feel confident saying what you think about work, it may not be a good idea to pitch in for an important presentation or ask your boss for a pay raise. Instead, you may want to start with something simpler.
- For example, if you've been promised new equipment, such as a desk monitor, but your manager forgot or didn't have time to take care of this, try asking politely for what you were promised.
- Small wins boost your self-esteem and empower you to tackle bigger issues.
Step 2. Celebrate your successes
When you achieve something important in the workplace, don't keep it to yourself. Sure, you don't have to brag about it, but to fuel your self-esteem, learn to recognize your accomplishments (and bring them to the attention of others).
By making a habit of rewarding yourself and acknowledging what you have accomplished, you will be more aware of your merits
Step 3. Pretend to be safe
Even if you don't really believe it, by pretending to be confident, you will come to have more confidence in yourself, especially if this attitude turns into a habit.
- For example, try smiling at coworkers and making eye contact with them. Walk with more grit, as if you're headed somewhere important.
- Even more authoritative clothing will allow you to take on a more prestigious look. Choose clothes that are in line with your personality and your style, but capable of conveying the idea that you are a professional.
- This strategy can make you feel more confident and cause others to treat you with more respect. Either way, it helps boost your self-esteem.
Step 4. Practice day to day
Think about everyday situations where you feel insecure or reluctant to express your ideas and take the opportunity to act like a person who believes in himself and stands up for himself.
- You may feel uncomfortable at first, but keep in mind that this will help you become more confident and easygoing. Constant practice is the path to perfection.
- If you are persistent, you will eventually notice the successes and everything will be more natural.
Step 5. Try to do some introspection
It is important to think carefully about the tasks or discussions in which you can contribute, the areas where you can stand out and find room for improvement.
Being assertive doesn't mean acting like your ideas are perfect. True self-confidence is built by highlighting one's strengths, but also by identifying one's weaknesses and doing everything possible to question oneself and improve in certain aspects
Step 6. Forget unfounded criticism
If a colleague makes an unreliable or unfair criticism of you, try not to dwell too long.
In addition to being a waste of energy, time spent mulling over sterile criticism can undermine your confidence
Part 2 of 3: Show Confidence in Yourself
Step 1. Make your voice heard
If you want to be more assertive at work, you need to show (and be) confident in what you have to say. To express yourself effectively, try to matter in situations where your opinion or point of view could be valuable. Don't expect to be asked, but make your opinion known.
- However, this does not mean that your opinions should always be heard first. Sometimes, the best thing is to let someone else express themselves, finding a way to hook their ideas into what has been said. By doing so, they are more likely to be approved.
- For example, during a meeting it would be better to wait for two or three people to speak and then put forward their considerations, saying: "My idea, which fits perfectly with what Giulia says, is that…".
Step 2. Learn to say no
If a colleague asks you to do something that isn't within your duties or that you don't have time to handle due to other projects, you should calmly decline their request. By responding in this way, you will definitely not be a selfish person.
Step 3. Don't be aggressive
Being assertive doesn't mean you have to do everything your way and silence other people.
- Rather, you need to learn to be confident and persuasive, but not demanding, rude, or bossy.
- Try to put yourself in other people's shoes. Pay attention to the attitudes of the people around you and give them a chance to express what they think.
- By having respect for others' opinions, you will create a more positive work environment where everyone will feel comfortable sharing what they think. This way you will not only create a more relaxed atmosphere, but you will have less difficulty saying your ideas without fear of being judged or criticized for free.
- Aggression actually risks compromising the ability to be heard, because colleagues can become discouraged or confused in the face of bullying behavior.
Step 4. Ask for respect, not friendship
Professional relationships are different from social relationships. In the workplace it is more important to be respected as an authoritative and valuable element of a staff than to be well liked by work colleagues.
- This is especially true if you are in a managerial role. Probably analyzing the work of your employees in an honest and constructive way will not be appreciated by everyone, but it is necessary to have a valid and efficient staff.
- Sometimes, you won't win your peers' favor by sincerely expressing your opinions or ratings, but it's a minor issue in a business environment.
Part 3 of 3: Express yourself effectively
Step 1. Think about what you want to say
Assertiveness involves clear communication. Whether you are talking in a meeting, having a face-to-face discussion with your boss or participating in a team project, you will be able to communicate more clearly and effectively if you think before you open your mouth.
- If you've prepared your speech before speaking, everything on your mind will be much clearer and more thoughtful.
- Before presenting your ideas at a meeting or other gathering, do some research on the subject. If you are well informed, you will have a more authoritative air and will probably feel more confident.
Step 2. Put your thoughts in order
When considering what you want to say, make sure you have a precise and timely speech, eliminating all unnecessary information.
The digressions and incidents could de-focus the listener, distracting them from what you are saying
Step 3. Get used to developing your ideas
While it is unthinkable to anticipate all situations that could arise in the workplace, you better prepare yourself if you know you need to present or want to disclose certain ideas or information during a meeting.
- A seemingly clear concept in your mind can seem confusing and messy when you say it out loud. By preparing your speech before making your speech, you will have the opportunity to communicate all your ideas with clarity and precision.
- Also, as you prepare, you will make your presentation smoother because you can eliminate all expressions used to avoid silences while gathering thoughts (such as "uhm", "eh", "that is", "in practice" and so on). These interlayers can make you seem less confident and knowledgeable on the subject. However, if you prepare what you have to say in advance, you will tend not to use it anymore.
Step 4. Check the volume of the voice
A calm and delicate voice can indicate a lack of confidence or authority. Try to express yourself so that your speech is taken seriously.
- This can also take some practice.
- Not scream. While it's important to make your voice heard clearly, you don't want to be bold or overbearing.
Step 5. Modulate your intervention
By speaking too fast, you risk appearing nervous and will also have a harder time following your reasoning. On the other hand, speaking very slowly can be boring or lose the attention of your audience.
- It is perfectly acceptable to pause for a sip of water if you need a moment to gather your thoughts or let the audience reflect on what you said.
- If you need to give a long speech in public, consider recording it during the preparation phase. This will help you better understand if the pace is effective.
Step 6. Don't belittle your speech
Don't use language that makes you seem uncertain or gives the impression that your ideas are invalid.
- For example, don't use the term "just": "I just think we could consider a more ambitious plan." This way, you will make them believe that your ideas are unimportant or valuable.
- Likewise, don't start sentences by saying: "I could be wrong, but …" or "It's just my opinion, but ….". They show the public that they don't need to take your opinion seriously.
Advice
- Remember that developing assertiveness takes time like any other skill. At first, celebrate small wins and keep improving.
- You would also do well to write down your successes, and then re-read them when you are not very satisfied with what you have accomplished. An archive of your "victories" can help you increase your self-esteem and, sometimes, even offer you useful material for your future applications.
- Over time, passive behavior can fuel resentment and, ultimately, aggression. You probably think it's best not to "shake things up" by expressing your opinions, but in the long run, if you keep everything you think and feel to yourself, there is a risk that other problems will arise.
