Boys go through many changes in their teens, which can cause them to behave in unusual ways. Whether you are a parent or a teenager, perhaps you want to understand kids of this age better. Know the changes they are going through and try to be understanding. You can manage conflicts through open conversation, assert your position and impose limits if necessary.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Understanding Teenage Boys if You Are a Teenage Girl
Step 1. Learn about the changes that occur in teens during adolescence
Just as your life is changing, the same goes for them. To learn more about this transition phase, you can ask the biology teacher what materials to read, or talk to your parents. If you have a slightly older male relative that you trust, such as a cousin going to college, ask if they are willing to talk to you about the changes boys go through during puberty.
- You may notice some physical changes in the kids in your class. Their voices deepen and they begin to have facial and armpit hair.
- Just like you, guys go through sexual changes too. They will start producing testosterone and having erections. Understand that they may feel embarrassed by these transformations, just as you have ever felt uncomfortable during your first period.
Step 2. Remember that teenage boys are insecure
Puberty is a phase of normal growth, in which it is very common to feel insecure. Your schoolmates may feel embarrassed by the physical and other changes they are going through, so try to be more understanding.
- Boys often face embarrassing changes during puberty. For example, they may have unmotivated erections and their voices may change pitch as they speak.
- You may be tempted to make fun of your classmates going through puberty, but try to be understanding instead. Your body is also transforming and you don't want to be made fun of for that reason. Avoid taunting kids in your class about the most common problems associated with adolescence.
Step 3. Look for things in common
You may think that your experience is completely different from that of the guys, but there are actually a lot of things in common. You will be able to better understand males your age if you can spot those changes you go through in a similar way.
- As with you, guys also start to have hair in the armpits and in the pubic area.
- Boys also suffer from mood swings, feelings of anger and frustration due to hormonal changes. Additionally, hormones can cause sudden fluctuations in energy levels.
- You may notice that people's attitudes towards you change as you grow up. They will see you more adult and may treat you differently. The same happens to boys going through puberty.
Step 4. Accept that kids will start behaving differently around friends
Teenagers often feel embarrassed when they are interested in girls for the first time. They may have a more detached attitude towards you because they feel insecure, or because they try to make their friends understand that they are their priority. Try to be understanding. If you're dating a teenage boy, let him spend some time with his friends.
You shouldn't accept disrespect. If a guy treats you downright bad in front of his friends, you should tell him you don't accept that kind of behavior. You can say, "I understand you want to look good in front of your friends, but you don't have the right to make fun of me."
Step 5. Learn to converse
Often, the best way to understand a person is to talk to them. Talking to a guy can scare you, but it will almost always help you understand him better. Try to be brave and have a conversation with teenagers your age.
- Ask specific questions about hobbies, family, and favorite subjects. For example: "Do you have a good relationship with your siblings?".
- If you don't know how to initiate the dialogue, comment on your surroundings or a recent event. For example: "How did the last assembly of the institute seem to you?".
Part 2 of 3: Understanding Teenage Boys if You Are a Parent
Step 1. Put yourself in your child's shoes
It is easy to feel frustrated with a teenage child, especially if they misbehave or otherwise rebel. Remember, guys are very insecure and worried about their appearance. They also try to form their own identity and because of this they have a tendency to rebel or be difficult. If all this were not enough, their brains are still developing and they still lack the adult ability to control impulses and make decisions. If you can't understand your teen, take a step back and see things from their point of view. Try to remember your experiences from those years.
For example, if your child suddenly decides to stop doing an activity they liked in the past, put yourself in their shoes. Imagine you convinced him to play basketball in junior high. Now that she's getting older she might want to feel more independent and try something different. Think of all the times you have explored and defined your identity as a teenager
Step 2. Do research on teenagers
As a parent, it is important to understand the changes your child is going through. The best thing you can do to get closer to him is to inform yourself about this stage of development.
- Read material about teens. Online you can find many sources describing the hormonal and mood changes faced by young people. This will help you refresh your memory of what you went through during your puberty years.
- In addition to reading books about the physical changes of adolescence, you also read novels for young adults. These volumes can help you remember the emotions experienced in those years.
- Remember that your research may not exactly describe your child's situation. It is important to learn about the your teenage boy, not just those mentioned in the reading materials. Show interest in topics your child is passionate about to bond with them and learn more about them.
Step 3. Give your child some privacy
While it is important to know what he is doing and who he is with, remember that adolescence is part of the transition to adulthood. It is important that he has some privacy in the house, so respect his need for space and to be alone.
- There are some things you should know about him. You have every right to always know where he is going and who he is with. However, you should give it some privacy.
- Understand that the teenage years are related to the development of your child's identity. He may need privacy to create his personality. Messages and phone calls should be private. You should also accept that you don't know all the details of his social life.
- As your child grows up, it's a good idea to change a few rules. You can relax the restrictions on the time spent on the phone or computer, because it is thanks to these technologies that adolescents socialize and form an identity. Maintain an open dialogue about rules and expectations, allowing your child to express their opinion. However, if he always proves to be untrustworthy, you should stick to strict rules for longer.
- If your child is betraying your trust or behaving in a truly irresponsible way, you could take away his phone or other privileges. He should understand that trust must be won and that with it comes more privacy.
Step 4. Make sure your child does not take reckless actions
Teenage brains are not fully developed. As a parent, it is vital to understand that young people fail to fully understand the consequences of their actions. This can lead them to engage in dangerous behavior, so you need to be vigilant. You need to make sure your child does not take too great a risk, such as using drugs or alcohol.
- The fact that a teenager's brain is developing is no justification for being reckless. While it's important to consider this factor, don't justify it when you misbehave just because you don't realize it. Consequences allow us to learn how to make the right decisions.
- You are always the parent, so you need to have expectations and set limits. You should set a time to go to bed and to go home even if your child is a teenager and you should always know where he is.
Step 5. Be prepared for the effects of hormones
Teenagers go through a lot of hormonal changes. This can lead to episodes such as mood swings. Try to be patient if your child always seems annoyed or gets short-tempered. You should make sure he faces the consequences when he behaves inappropriately or rude, but try to be understanding. It will take a few years to get used to the hormonal changes.
- Be patient. Many parents are under the impression that the teenage years never end, but eventually your child will stop having mood swings and the anger problems caused by puberty.
- Once your child has calmed down, you can talk about his behavior. Try not to lecture him and focus the dialogue on what he can do differently in the future. For example, if he yells some insulting insult at you in a moment of anger, teach him to hold back and take deep breaths before responding.
Step 6. Expect your child to start thinking about sex
This is normal in the teens and he may even explore pornography. Recent studies have found that the majority of teenage males visit pornographic websites. Even though this is a normal stage of growth, it's important to talk to your child about sex and porn.
- Talk to your child often about sex and sexuality, allowing them to ask you questions. It is important that you present the facts as they are. For example, it might be a good idea to explain the difference between sex in pornography and sex in real life. If he feels very uncomfortable talking to you, ask someone you trust for help, such as an uncle.
- Don't panic if your child asks you questions about sex. Questions are not a sure sign that he is having sex or that he is thinking of having it. He may just feel normal curiosity. Provide information on safe sex, such as condom use, sexually transmitted diseases, and contraceptives. In the local library you can find books suitable for his age that you can have him read. Remember that educating your child about safe sexual intercourse does not prompt him to become sexually active.
- Always keep conversations about sex open. Conclude by saying, "If you have more questions, don't hesitate to ask."
Part 3 of 3: Dealing with Differences and Conflicts
Step 1. Find the right time to talk
If you need to communicate with your teen, you need to choose the right time. Pay attention and notice if he seems relaxed and receptive. Make it a habit to converse with him regularly on those occasions to keep communication open.
To find out the moments when your child is most willing to talk, you can go by trial and error. He may be quieter after football practice, but more talkative after dinner. Get him to have a conversation at the time
Step 2. Ask open questions
Whether you are a parent or a teenager, remember that teens don't like to open up about certain things and are sensitive about certain topics. Instead of asking direct questions, learn to choose open questions. This allows kids to share information however they like.
- For example, don't ask, "Are you excited about the high school prom?" Try instead: "What do you think about dancing? Do you like to go there?".
- If you only get short answers to your questions, the guy probably doesn't want to discuss the topic. Try to figure out what they prefer to talk about. Start with his hobbies and interests.
Step 3. Claim yourself if necessary
If you are a teenage girl, it is important to know when you need to be respected. If a guy is always making fun of you and making you feel uncomfortable, you have every right to tell him that his attitude is not acceptable.
- You have the right to express your emotions to the boys. If a teenager makes you feel uncomfortable, tell them clearly. Even if you try to like him, you shouldn't sacrifice your feelings to make a good impression.
- Try saying something to the guy who annoys you, like "I don't like it when you comment on my body, you make me uncomfortable." If the teasing doesn't stop, ask an adult for help, like the teacher.
Step 4. In severe cases, ask an expert for help
Teens can suffer from problems such as depression, anxiety, and other altered emotional states. While moderate mood swings are normal, if a guy seems very unhappy or angry to you, you should seek help from a psychologist. Warning signs of a mental disorder include:
- Difficulty concentrating
- Sudden drop in votes
- Weight loss or weight gain
- Lack of motivation
- Difficulty sleeping
- Fatigue
