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Although the themes that are celebrated can be very varied - superficial or of great importance - they rarely concern "how to celebrate the life of someone who has left this world". There are grief and memories, or you can just move on and leave these bad times behind. In this article, you will find instructions for embarking on a brighter path from mourning the death of a loved one by celebrating their life and love: a "celestial birthday party".
Steps
Step 1. Be open to loss:
It is okay to be in mourning, but avoid continually complaining about the lost life of someone you loved and try, rather, to celebrate it. "I'm about to have a heavenly birthday party for my mom. We miss her and don't want to forget her, so we're celebrating her. Come along too!"
Step 2. Don't worry about "no"
Many people may reject the idea. Make it like any other kind of party and say something like, "Oh, okay. Well, if you change your mind, let me know! The door is always open for you!".
Step 3. Be open in planning the party
Telling the children in the family and distant family members or declining other invitations will make it easier for you and others to be more free to address this difficult topic. Opening you naturally will make you more comfortable in an easier way and make you find peace with respect to this death. Also, your friends will be able to find more self-confidence to talk to you about the loved one you have lost.
Step 4. Choose what kind of party to organize:
dinner, dessert only or an all day event / picnic with various families, etc. It could be determined based on the date of death. If it happened one day in the middle of the week, you might want to organize some appetizers or desserts rather than a longer celebration.
Step 5. Choose the date
One option is to choose the same date of the loved one's death. Part of the pain you feel over someone's death comes from forgetting that person on the day they died or believing that others have forgotten. Friends and family have stopped time when their loved one has passed away, and it would certainly make sense to do the same when there is this anniversary. Another option could be the birthday of the person who passed away, which could bring back good times (or another date significant to the life and relationships of the deceased, but at that point you should change the name of the deceased. celebration!).
Step 6. Think about the place to celebrate the event
Honor the loss in a respectful setting: a house, a garden, a park with a space to have a barbecue, etc.
Step 7. Try to limit the vices that make you forget:
avoid drinking large amounts of alcohol "to forget" (or, better yet, avoid alcohol altogether) and avoid any kind of remorseful situation. It will not improve the situation and it is not what the person who died would have wanted for you. Try to focus on your loved one by staying as clear and present as possible.
Step 8. Think about some activities
Some people may have small gifts for the children, others may look at photos or take out some to put on a table or counter, still others may start unscheduled conversations, others may initiate a dialogue by saying aloud "So what do you think mom would say about this holiday? ", and still others might recall funny anecdotes. Whatever the choice, the important thing is that the life of the deceased is honored!
Step 9. Keep private things private
Try to cry only in private moments. On a celestial birthday, especially if there are children present, try to create a lively, positive, cheerful and memorable situation for everyone.
Step 10. Keep moving forward without making a tragedy out of it
Organizing a celestial birthday will help you heal the wound. As you accept the loss and console yourself with time, it will be okay to continue organizing celebrations or stop creating events, but continue with small gestures such as calls or emails to the people who were closest to those who died.
Advice
- Print photos or tell others to bring photo albums
- Get a notebook so that everyone can sign it during the celebration
- Order or make a cake
- Make some appetizers
- If you have a cake, don't forget the candles
- For children, if you use Photoshop, GIMP or similar software, print a photo of the person without color and have it colored with crayons
