Bullying can occur anywhere there is a group of people who lose their sense of courtesy and the limits of their personal freedoms. Facebook, despite being a virtual reality, is no different. In fact, bullying on Facebook can create as much stress as bullying that happens in person, because the online bully manages to enter your personal life as if they were in your home. If you are a victim of Facebook bullying or have witnessed this phenomenon, this guide will provide you with tips on how to deal with the problem.
Steps
Step 1. Bully-proof your Facebook account
Make sure your privacy settings are secure and don't reveal personal information to anyone not on your friend list. If something happens in your real life that you think could spill over to Facebook, take preventative measures to make sure that these people or problems can't reach you on the social network as well. For example, if your colleague or schoolmate who harasses you sends you a friend request, don't accept it. If asked face to face, be polite and explain that you only intend to keep in touch with your family members on Facebook.
- Limit what information is visible to anyone not on your friends list. Go to Privacy Settings and click on Limited Profile Settings. Pay close attention to what users who are not on your friends list are allowed to see; keep your profile as private as possible - enter your friends' names in the Restricted Profile box. If you are a parent, help your teen set up the privacy settings on his profile correctly.
- Learn to block contacts. Block contacts that are bothering you by reading How to Block a Person on Facebook and How to Block Someone in Facebook Chat.
Step 2. Recognize the bullies' tactics
Bullying can occur in several ways and, especially online, it is not always easy to realize the true meaning of a person's behavior, and it could happen that we misrepresent someone's real intentions. However, there are some attitudes common to most bullies that could help you identify a bully, including:
- Offensive or threatening posts on the wall, such as: “Maria, Massimo and I hate you. Your breath stinks. Please don't come to school tomorrow”.
- Continuous negative comments left on your posts. For example: "Why do you waste time posting certain CAVOLATE? You are a useless person".
- Continued abuse of punctuation, such as "WHAT THE F … DO YOU SAY ???!?!?!" to leave clear and concise hate messages.
- The excessive use of capital letters can indicate a threatening or superior attitude. The etiquette of the Internet, in fact, says that THIS USE OF CAPITALS is equivalent to screaming and, if, moreover, these messages are accompanied by threats and profanity, they could be interpreted as bullying.
- The bully spreads photos or videos on the Internet without your consent, especially photos and videos of you in embarrassing moments or, even worse, photos and videos of being bullied or other negative things.
- You are threatened in chat or on Facebook or abusive and abusive language is used towards you.
- A new Facebook group about you is created, with titles similar to "10 Reasons to Hate Lorenzo B.".
Step 3. Except for the most serious episodes such as the dissemination of images and videos on the Internet, for these actions to be considered real acts of bullying they will have to be repeated over time, and not just be a comment posted in a moment of anger
Also try to think about how this person would behave towards you in real life. Are threats and insults also perpetrated outside of Facebook?
As already said, however, as regards the most serious actions, it only takes once for the subject to be removed or avoided immediately. This actions include threats, compromising comments, and the unauthorized dissemination of photos and videos
Step 4. Ask the bully to stop
Sometimes it may be enough to ask to end it all. Send a polite and polite private message asking them to stop bothering you. If the bully continues, leave a public comment on his wall while continuing to ask to leave you alone. Knowing that all of his friends have likely read that comment, the bully may feel sorry and stop.
If, on the other hand, the bully is your work colleague, remind him that this behavior is unprofessional. Explain that your wall is read by many people on a daily basis and could be very badly judged. These people could include their employer
Step 5. Tell your friends what is happening to you
They may decide to help you by either leaving a message to the bully or publicly informing everyone, via their message board, that this person's behavior is unwanted and not tolerated.
If you are a boy, tell your parents about it. Your parents will be able to contact your school principal and discuss what happened. If the bully doesn't stop, they may even decide to take legal action
Step 6. Don't stoop to their level
From behind the computer you may feel safer, giving in to the temptation to respond in kind. By doing so, you will only increase the problem, even then risking having to physically confront the bully in question once back to school. Ignore this temptation and rather block the bully on Facebook. Ignoring bullies is the best way to deflate them and get them back sober.
Step 7. Report the bully
If on your part you have always been nice to this person and despite your kind requests to leave you alone the bully does not want to know, report it to the Facebook administrators. Explain in detail the facts and annoyance this person is causing you, requesting that action be taken, including: removing any photos, videos, groups or other public items about you that have been posted without your express permission. Parents can report this person on behalf of their child; for more information, see the Facebook instructions by going to this address:
- If your school, college, or workplace has a counselor, it may be a good idea to go to this person to talk about your situation. Ask about the school rules or the company rules and try to understand if these rules are also extended to Facebook. If not, the bullying issue itself could still be dealt with in a separate regulation. Try to get the help and support you can to put an end to this situation.
- If you were not satisfied with the interview with the consultant, another manager or even with the technical support of Facebook itself, examine the possibility of seeking advice from the Carabinieri or Police Commissioner of your city, where you could find help and advice or be redirected to qualified personnel.
- If you receive physical threats, racist insults or photos and videos about you are spread without your consent, especially embarrassed photos, nude photos or photos in which you are annoyed, call the Police or the Carabinieri.
Step 8. Close your Facebook account
If you feel that the situation is out of control and you are no longer able to use Facebook in peace, or if you feel threatened or publicly exposed, you could close your Facebook account. You can always open another one when you feel safer.
Another possible solution could be to open a new Facebook account with another name, perhaps providing only your first and middle name, without the surname. Talk to the Facebook administrators first and explain why you want to create an account using a fake name or an incomplete name, and there is a good chance they will allow you to open another account with this other name, even if you don't respect the rules. of Facebook names, which requires everyone to use their real name
Step 9. Don't bully yourself and don't engage in bullying
Stop online bullying by telling others when they are wrong and how much they can hurt others. Remind these people that there have been cases of suicide among bullied teenagers, including online.
Step 10. Be prepared to wait a long time to see the material that bothers you and concerns you deleted
It will probably take a LONG time. Unfortunately, Facebook doesn't seem to take its anti-abuse policy seriously.
Advice
- Sometimes it could happen that a bully signs up to Facebook with a bogus account to try to chat with you or leave you messages on the wall. If this is the case, don't try too hard to figure out whether or not this person is the bully tormenting you. If the message appears suspicious or contains offensive content, immediately report this person to Facebook and block their account. "ALWAYS" be careful not to accept friend requests from people you don't know; in case a friend of yours asks you, send an e-mail to this friend asking him if it is really he who is trying to add you to his friends list.
- Do not provide any personal information on your Facebook profile, and if you do, be sure to configure the privacy settings for this information on ONLY ME, so that ONLY YOU can see it. This personal information includes your home address, your telephone numbers, the name of your school or workplace, the place where you live or monuments in your area that could help an attacker to trace your place of residence. etc. If you are asked for more information, ALWAYS be careful and ask your parents or guardians for permission before giving someone and your personal information. Set up your profile so that only friends you know personally and family members can see what you post.
- Bullying seminars are held in some schools to inform parents about the seriousness of the problem and react accordingly. Sacrifice some of your free time to go to one of these seminars in order to improve your knowledge and understanding of the subject in order to better help your children, adolescents or adults, to react effectively to this new and horrible. trend.
- If the bully is bothering you via chat and private messages, don't reply and go offline. If it continues, you can delete it from your friends list or block it.
- For parents: always monitor your children while they use Facebook and impose rules and limits. Don't allow your kids to join Facebook unless they are 13 or older. Facebook's rules prohibit children under the age of 13 from joining the social network, and there are many good reasons for doing so. However, while you have banned your children from using Facebook, this does not mean that your child is unable to subscribe secretly. Therefore, always monitor your child when using a computer or smartphone. There are social networks for children, where there are adults who moderate the social network 24 hours a day and bullying seems to be severely limited. As for kids over 13 who can join Facebook, let them know that you are always available to talk about any problems they may encounter while using Facebook. It's a good idea to regularly ask if everything is okay on Facebook, obviously in a friendly and non-punitive way. Always remind him of what Sarah Migas says: "The proper place for your secrets is the diary, not the technology." A controlling parent is a parent who cares about their children.
Warnings
- If you feel that you cannot find help among school staff, consider talking to a psychologist or counselor from outside the school setting. Also consider taking legal action against the school if the school does not fully enforce the policy against bullying for all students for one reason or another; in this case, seek legal advice, as bullying is never acceptable. This is true for teachers who are being harassed online and for students who are bullied in or out of school.
- Report any suspicious or inappropriate behavior on Facebook. Best of all, Facebook's tech support takes care of the matter to make sure Facebook is a safe social network for everyone.
