Being bullied is a terrible situation. You probably don't feel safe and are also sad or depressed. Also, you may not want to go to school. There is however something you can do to address the problem. If the situation is particularly serious, always speak to an adult who can help you manage it.
Steps
Method 1 of 5: Dealing with Bullying in the Moment
Step 1. Stop for a moment
When you are targeted, you may panic and be unable to think clearly. Take a couple of deep breaths and carefully observe what is happening.
- Breathing is important because it can help calm you down.
- Observing what happens can allow you to name the ongoing events. And this will be useful in the next step.
Step 2. Try to defend yourself
Sometimes bullies give up if you can fight back. Look the person in the eye and try to look as imposing as possible. In other words, stand to your full height.
Practice in front of the mirror. Try it on yourself
Step 3. Tell the bully what you want from him
Once you have taken note of what is happening, you can decide what the next step will be. This doesn't mean that you can get them to do what you want, but sometimes expressing your will clearly can actually stop this type of behavior.
- For example, you might say, "I want you to stop throwing paper at me. I know you think it's funny, but I think differently. So stop."
- Alternatively, you could say something like "I see you are making fun of me. Stop it."
Step 4. Stay calm
The bully wants you to get angry. He is looking for this kind of reaction and by getting angry you just play his game. Try to stay calm by breathing deeply throughout the discussion.
- Trying to ignore the bully by using humor could also be helpful. Responding with a joke could dampen his enthusiasm.
- For example, if someone is throwing balls of paper at you during class, you might say "Hey, are you aiming so badly that you can't get the basket?"
Step 5. Go where you can find help
As tempting as you may feel to run away without thinking, try to think for a moment to figure out where you can be safe. If you just run away, the bully may be chasing you. However, if you can get to a safe place, you could stop harassment.
- For example, walk into a classroom full of people.
- Another possibility is to slip into a room where there is an adult.
Step 6. Later, take notes
On that same day, write the report of what happened. That way, when you talk to an adult, you will have something to show him. If the problem occurs frequently, try to make a rough note of the number of times and dates.
Since in some contexts one can speak of bullying only if the behaviors are repetitive, it can be useful to write down the details
Method 2 of 5: Dealing with Cyberbullying
Step 1. Use technology to your advantage
Since cyberbullying takes place via electronic devices, you can use the same technology to take advantage of it. Many phones and websites have solutions to block people from misbehaving with you.
- For example, on your phone you can probably block incoming messages and calls from a particular person.
- Try denying the friendship and / or blocking the person completely on sites like Facebook.
Step 2. Don't feed the troll
Cyber bullies are sometimes nicknamed "trolls" and a common phrase on the internet is "don't feed the troll." In other words, the cyber bully doesn't enjoy themselves if the target is not responding at all. Try to ignore them. Try to avoid the particular website where this happens, so that you don't have to read its hateful comments and are not tempted to respond.
Step 3. Record the evidence
Just as with direct harassment, it can be helpful to have evidence of cyberbullying on hand. Keep linked emails and messages and also capture screen images to document the facts. Also, try to keep track of times and dates. The reason for keeping this information is that by making it available to sites and companies, it is easier to stop bullying.
Step 4. Report cyberbullying
You can report it to the site where the incidents occur - for example, a social media site. Also, if the perpetrator is someone who attends your school, you can report it to the school leaders. If it is a more serious matter, for example, if someone is posting inappropriate photos of you, you can also report it to the police. Just make sure you have evidence when you do.
Step 5. Stay safe
Never give out personal information on the internet. For example, don't post your home address or phone number. Bullies and other online predators can use this information to find you, so it is advisable to provide as little as possible to prevent it from being used against you.
Method 3 of 5: Dealing with Serious and Recurring Episodes of Bullying
Step 1. Talk to an adult
If you're a victim of bullying behavior, it's important to talk to someone you trust. Talk to a teacher, coach, or parent. It's their job to take the lead and help you deal with a bully, so tell them what you know.
It's always okay to talk to an adult. However, it is especially important if the bully has been violent towards you or you think he may have it in the future
Step 2. Ask the adult to help you develop a plan
He should lend a hand to stop the bully. However, he should also be able to help prepare a plan for how to deal with the situation. Ask him to assist you in managing solutions to defend you.
For example, an adult may be able to suggest solutions to avoid being found alone in the corridors
Step 3. Stay in a group
Bullies often isolate people to bully. Being alone often makes you too easy a target. Try to reach classrooms with friends or stay in places where teachers are supervising.
Stay away from unfrequented places. For example, if you know the gym is usually empty after school, try going to the library instead
Step 4. Make new friends
It may not be easy if you are not very outgoing. It is normal to feel shy when trying to make new friends. Having friends, however, can make you less vulnerable to bullying behavior and gives you someone to hang out with during class breaks.
- Try talking to someone in your class or an association you are a member of. You can use what you are doing to start a conversation. For example, you could say "Hi, I'm Michele. This problem we're working on is really complicated, don't you think?"
- Get used to talking to the same people. Over time you get to know them better. For example, if you meet them at the bar, propose to have something together. You might say, "Hey, we were talking about that complicated problem the other day. Do you mind if I sit with you?"
- One way to get to know people is to get them to talk about themselves. The best way to do this is to ask questions. You could do them about what they like or about their family. You might ask what their favorite subject is or what they like to do for fun.
- Don't forget to be nice. Kindness towards others makes you appreciate them more. For example, make your notes available if a classmate has missed classes or help them understand homework if they are struggling.
Step 5. Ask about the school transfer
If the situation is particularly serious, ask about the possibility of transferring you to another school. This step may not be easy taking into account the school system in the region where you live, but it needs to be evaluated.
- Ask your parents to enroll in another school. Going to a new school can give you a new boost.
- You may also be moving to an accredited private institution, although the transfer may be difficult during the current year. Ask parents to help you find solutions.
Method 4 of 5: Intervening During a Bullying Episode
Step 1. Raise your voice
If you see someone being targeted, tell the bully to stop. It takes courage to step in, but you can become someone's hero if you do. Often it is enough for one person to resist for the abuse to cease.
For example, you might say "Hey, leave that guy alone. What did he ever do to you?"
Step 2. Don't be an audience
Even if you don't take action, it's important not to encourage bullying. This means that you shouldn't laugh or show other signs of participation when someone experiences this type of behavior.
- If you just look and laugh, you are contributing to your role as an audience for the bully.
- Even simply standing and looking without laughing can encourage the bully to represent an audience for him.
- This doesn't mean you should just walk away. If you don't feel like intervening, skip to the next step.
Step 3. Warn an adult
If you are unwilling to intervene, notify an adult. Find one in a nearby classroom or talk to a school counselor. In this way, the adult can intervene and manage the situation.
Method 5 of 5: Preventing Bullying
Step 1. Build self-confidence
The bully tends to blame those with low self-esteem. If you can solve this problem, you can help prevent bullying in the future.
- Try an attitude that expresses power. Some research has shown that it can be enough to act confidently to build self-confidence. Generally, an attitude that expresses power requires you to look more imposing and majestic. For example, putting your hands on your hips and keeping your legs apart is a pose that expresses power. Don't forget to keep your head up! Try for two minutes to hold a pose that gives you the feeling of being stronger.
- Learn new skills. Another way to gain confidence is to learn new skills. As you become more skilled, your confidence also increases.
- Exercise or play sports. Physical activity can make you feel strong and confident. You should exercise anyway, so it's still a profitable activity. Martial arts can be a good choice if you need to defend yourself.
Step 2. Develop communication skills
These allow you to interact with peers and teachers. Basically it is the art of how to present yourself to others. If you have basic communication skills, people will consider you more assertive. This means having confidence in yourself and being able to state your reasons. The more assertive you are, the less likely you are to be bullied.
- It also means being able to reach out to others to express what you want without being rude. For example, instead of saying "Why do you give me the worst jobs?" you might say, "Can I clean the board next week?"
- Communicating well means suggesting the main ideas, knowing how to ask kindly and offering support when possible. For example, when a friend does a good job, you can say "You were great! Great job!"
Step 3. Encourage empathy
Empathy means being able to feel what others feel. To be empathetic you need to be able to listen to what others feel and try to understand their pain. While it can be difficult to encourage empathy, bullying, however, is less likely to occur when children are empathetic to each other.
- Pay attention. The first step to being empathetic is to notice others. Look at the faces of other children to see how they feel. Typically, you can tell when any of them are angry if you look at them. They may be frowning, have tears in their eyes, or blush.
- Talk to your partner. If you see someone looking dejected, ask how they are doing. You might say, "Hey, what's wrong? You don't look so good." Listen to his answer.
- Even if you don't feel what your partner is feeling, it is important to express participation in the circumstances that cause it. It simply means replying politely to his answers. For example, if you said "I'm having a really bad day. My dog is very sick." You might say, "Oh, that's awful. I guess how I would feel if it happened to my dog. You must be really sad."
Step 4. Avoid retaliation
Being bullied can make you want to react violently. You can be tempted to threaten someone who harasses you. However, this would only turn you into a bully and the problem remains.
- Also, it can cause the harasser to react more violently and you could only harm yourself.
- Finally, if you try to take revenge, you risk becoming responsible even if the bully strikes first.
