A best friend is someone to whom you can entrust your innermost secrets, whom you can rely on in times of difficulty, and with whom you can celebrate the most significant events in your life. By developing your ability to be your best friend, you can rely on your own judgment and be your source of consolation when you need advice or support. Furthermore, becoming your best friend can be a great way to combat the sense of loneliness, insecurity and instability in everyone's life. By cultivating a productive and positive image of yourself, you can learn to trust yourself constantly and to work internally on the problems or difficulties you may encounter in life.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Establishing a Healthy Relationship with Yourself
Step 1. Take some time to get to know yourself
Think about your life motivations, what you like and don't like, your strengths and weaknesses. We generally tend to rely on others to understand our tastes, ideals, goals and purposes, starting with the latest gossip in the office, up to the posts on Facebook and likes on Instagram. We live constantly with the mobile phone in hand. Remember, however, that the more you will be able to understand yourself in an honest and concrete way, the easier it will be to respect you for who you really are, rather than for what you think you are according to others or according to the fashions and circumstances of the moment..
- Grab a pen and a piece of paper and make lists, such as "Things I like", "Who am I right now" and "What would I say to myself at 99?" Write questions and reread them. These insights should help you deepen your inner knowledge.
- Going into therapy with a psychologist or attending seminars and courses on your lifestyle are all avenues that could help you develop greater awareness. Find out about the different offers in your area, or even online.
Step 2. Think about your relationship with others
Evaluate the way you interact with the people in your life, from your partner to the people you love, from casual acquaintances to strangers you meet by chance. Your attitude towards others reflects the way you perceive yourself; positive relationships in your life can serve as a model for you to understand how to be your best friend
Write down the names of the people you think are important in your life and write down why you consider them to be important. Consider questions such as "Why am I grateful to these individuals who are a part of my life?" and "What would these people say at my funeral?"
Step 3. Set yourself achievable goals
Instead of letting others decide your life goals and expectations, set reasonable goals for yourself. Your goals can range from minor changes, such as washing the dishes or tidying up your room, to larger-scale, more challenging tasks, such as taking courses to improve your skills or apply for the jobs of the children. your dreams. By trying to organize yourself to meet your expectations, you will be able to control what you expect of yourself and feel satisfied when you manage to achieve something.
- To try to understand how achievable your goals are, ask yourself questions like "How specific is my goal?", "Can I measure my goals?" and "Are my goals relevant to my life and to my desires?".
- Write down your goals in a journal. As you write down what you intend to accomplish and your progress on the subject, always conclude with positive affirmations such as “I'm happy with what I've done” to reinforce personal recognition of your accomplishments.
Part 2 of 2: Enjoy Your Company
Step 1. Get involved
Changing your daily routine or breaking out of your usual habits can help you get to know yourself better.
- Take a solo trip to a foreign country. Traveling alone is a great way to force yourself to explore a new and different environment and to try being alone for an extended period of time. It will also force you to develop a strong sense of independence and autonomy, as well as an open attitude towards the behavior and customs of others.
- If you are not ready to tackle a foreign country alone, take short walks in the neighborhood or minimize the distractions in your home and in your daily life, they can help you embrace change. Even making small changes in your routine will allow you to challenge yourself and get to know yourself better.
Step 2. Develop daily interests that you can pursue on your own
Cultivating a hobby that you can do alone or an activity that involves only you is a great way to get used to the company of yourself and learn to appreciate it.
Among the activities that can be done alone we remember fishing, sewing, writing, reading or even meditation. All these pastimes will allow you to deepen your understanding of yourself and to spend some very meaningful moments alone. They will also help you cultivate the love you feel for yourself, a fundamental factor if you want to become your best friend
Step 3. Go out alone
We have been used to enjoying only the moments we spend in the company of others, not those we spend alone. It is very important to learn to have fun when you are alone with yourself, whether it is going to the cinema, going out to dinner, the theater or having a beer.
A solo outing will allow you to enjoy your company in a positive way. Without the distraction represented by another person, you may be able to pay more attention to the film or show, or to be more aware of your personal opinions and what you think of the environment around you
Step 4. Make sure you know how to spoil yourself
Do you know the special attention and affection you receive from a best friend? Try to indulge yourself in the same cares.
Enjoy a relaxing massage, buy yourself some flowers or give yourself a special gift. Small gestures of kindness will help you show the love and respect you feel for yourself
Step 5. Give yourself compliments that you really think
Psychologists Mildred Newman and Bernard Berkowitz, in their 1974 book, How to Be Your Best Friend, discuss the value of self-esteem in the process of becoming good friends to yourself. In fact, when you do something you are proud of, the two psychologists advise you to focus your attention on what happened, get compliments, enjoy the experience and assimilate it. In fact, by recognizing your individual value and cultivating your inner self, you will take control over what makes you feel good. Instead of trying to match your choices and decisions to what has been defined as "success" by someone else, just look inside yourself to understand that you are worth and that your life has meaning. Don't wait for your worth to be recognized by others.
- By complimenting yourself, you can focus more on the positive aspects of your day rather than the negative ones. Avoid talking negatively about yourself by insulting and demolishing yourself. Instead, work on your positives, until it becomes a habit.
- One of the characteristics that make a good best friend is a sense of humor, so keep a light and easygoing attitude towards yourself and towards the things you say, think and do. In fact, by supporting and evaluating your work in a positive way, you will not take yourself too seriously and you will be able to laugh at yourself in a beneficial and healthy way.
Step 6. Try to improve your friendship with yourself day after day
Whether you keep track of progress or changes in your relationship with yourself by jotting down what you think and your daily challenges in a journal, or make a mental note of your journey of self-discovery, it is advisable to write down your progress. as you develop the ability to be friends.
