Are you going through a bad time? Do you have the distinct feeling that your life is in chaos? Regaining control of your existence is not easy, but improving the quality of life, making positive changes and giving space to introspection can help you feel better. You can get your life back on track by making small changes first and putting yourself first.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Focus on Yourself
Step 1. Taking control of your life is a very effective way to put it back in order
Although negative or unpleasant situations do occur, it is important to understand that many of them cannot be controlled. Instead, we need to understand what can be controlled and changed. Blaming others for what happens to you will make you feel even more helpless. Don't think that you are a victim of circumstances. Instead, begin to understand that you are the only person who can control your life.
- Be honest with yourself. How many times do you happen to make excuses and blame others? If you behave this way, don't blame yourself - almost everyone does. However, it is important to try to change. Identify what you can improve objectively.
- Only when you stop making excuses can you become responsible and take control of your life. This means that your choices, thoughts and actions are solely up to you, not others. As a result, you can progress and move forward on your own path. Control is in your hands.
- When something happens, don't get angry and don't blame anyone. When you make a mistake, don't make excuses to justify it. Accept what happened. Don't mull it over. Turn the page and try to change the way you do it to prevent it from happening again.
Step 2. Let go of what you cannot change
Things will happen to you that you cannot control. Since some situations cannot be changed or resolved, let them go. Get them out of your head and stop thinking about them. Focus only on what you can change in your life. You will see that you will be more serene.
- You can't control the past. Learn from mistakes without ruminating. If you only think about the past, you will never be able to go into the future.
- You cannot change others, you can only change yourself. Don't be obsessed with what another person is doing. If someone hurts you, talk to the person concerned. If while doing the impossible you don't get any results, forget it. You can only control yourself.
Step 3. Find out what makes you happy and fulfilled
It is perhaps one of the hardest questions you can ever ask. If you are unhappy and you feel your life is out of control, first ask yourself, "What will make me happy?" Answer honestly. Understanding this can help you focus on the positives in your life and start putting it back together.
- Answer realistically. Traveling the world for six months or becoming a millionaire are not always feasible dreams. Instead, you can work hard to be able to visit a particular country, save money, or get a promotion at work.
- Try to understand what your principles are. Honesty, compassion, love, acceptance, dedication, or hard work? Understand your values and write them down. Then, consider your life. Are they actually present in your daily life? And among the people around you? Knowing your values can help you become a better person and surround yourself with better people.
Step 4. Understand that some things cannot be changed
You have to go to work, study and pay the bills. You have responsibilities, but it is possible to change aspects of them so that they are not too heavy for you.
- Can you lighten certain activities by dedicating yourself to them on more propitious days? Can you go to the supermarket on Thursday nights instead of wasting time on Saturdays? Find ways to organize your life to carry out all your commitments and at the same time find spaces for yourself.
- Does your job make you happy? If the answer is no, try to understand how you feel about it. Do you want to pursue a different profession or get a promotion? You may not be passionate about it, but you are still satisfied because the hours are flexible or the salary is good.
- You don't have to be passionate about everything in life. Instead, try to figure out if you can tolerate the less pleasant aspects and accept the role they play.
Step 5. Understand that you can't do everything
Society pressures for an individual to juggle a thousand tasks flawlessly, but remember that you are a human being. A day has only 24 hours. It is not possible to do everything. You have a profession, a family, friends, obligations. Sometimes the work takes more time, other times it is necessary to dedicate it above all to the family. Can't you do it all? You are not a failure. Do what you can and let everything else go.
- Prioritize your time and commitments. It is particularly important for those with a thousand things to do and tight deadlines. Determine what you absolutely need to accomplish, what you can put off, and what needs your attention.
- Make a to-do list to help you not forget anything. Once all the items are checked, you will feel more satisfied. Just remember not to be discouraged if you fail to do everything. Instead, focus on what you have been able to accomplish.
Step 6. Try to understand that you are no longer who you used to be
Life goes on. Years pass, separations, divorces, deaths, dismissals and tragedies are faced. Events of this type can cause depression, sadness and despondency. When you finally start moving on, many times you pretend to be the same person as before. This is not always the case. All experiences change you. Sometimes in a limited way, sometimes drastically. This is not always a bad thing. Don't panic if you notice yourself different than you were a year ago, five years ago, or 10 years ago. As you turn the page and get your life back on track, accept your new identity.
This does not mean that if you feel sad you will never go back to being the cheerful person you once were. If you are depressed or desperate, you surely hope to change this mood and regain happiness. The point is, the things that made you happy may never have the same effect as before. It is possible that you no longer have the same views or points of life. Maybe some things you don't even like anymore. It's not a problem. To live is to change and adapt
Step 7. Transform the expression "I am not" into "I am"
Think of all the times you say "I'm not" throughout the day. You have probably convinced yourself that you cannot do many things, also because society repeats it to you over and over again. You don't have enough money. You are no longer old or too young. You do not reflect the classic canons of beauty. These subliminal messages end up making you believe that you don't have a chance to accomplish certain things. Change your point of view. Instead of thinking "I can't do this" or "I'm not that kind of person", change your perspective: "I can do this" or "I'm that kind of person". Then get involved!
- For example, if you thought "I'm not made to run," ask yourself why. Can't run because of an injury, because you are not an established marathoner or because you have never tried? Instead of just accepting the situation on your own, get involved. If you want to run, sign up for a 5k marathon, follow a training schedule and start doing it. Although your times are not the best, the important thing is to run.
- Try something new. Do something that scares you and that you think you cannot accomplish. Sometimes things will not go as hoped and you will regret it. Others will succeed, improve your life and make new friends.
Step 8. Put yourself first
Sometimes this is the best way to tidy up your life. This means that you need to exclude negative and hurting people, rather than keep seeing them out of obligation. It means making the best decision for yourself, however much others disagree. Above all, it means understanding what is best for you.
- Of course, you don't have to hurt the people you love. But if you make the right choice for yourself, they should understand and support you. The people you love shouldn't put you down. If not, talk to them.
- Learn to say no. You don't always have to do everything for everyone. Sometimes you won't have the time or energy to make a commitment. It's not a problem. That doesn't make you a bad person. Saying no doesn't make you a bad person.
Step 9. Expose yourself
Turning the page and moving forward helps get your life back on track. To tidy up your existence, you need to live and experience enriching experiences, for example by joining an organization, making new friends or trying a new hobby. It can also mean just going away for a weekend. Whatever choice you make, go your own way and get out of the house.
- Join an organization to meet people and get involved. Create a profile on a dating site. Join a group that has the same interests as you and go to events.
- Give yourself time to heal. If you still don't feel ready, don't move on or expose yourself. Not everyone heals at the same rate. Some do it before others. There is nothing wrong with that. However, it may be necessary to push yourself out of the monotony. Take baby steps at first. Call a friend. Go to an event. Explore a place never seen before. See how you feel. If you feel overwhelmed, take more time. If you are okay, then you are ready to go further.
Step 10. Stop basing your value on external factors
Many people are unhappy because they need external acceptance to confirm their worth. They think that only money, a prestigious job or a perfect body can make them happy. There is nothing wrong with wanting a good job, having enough money, or looking your best, but basing your existence on all of this is bad and bad.
- Instead, focus on your inner self. Don't compare yourself to others. Give your best. Enjoy what your finances allow you to achieve, even if you only manage to take day trips instead of long trips to the Caribbean.
- Live by your principles. Be a good person, honest, loyal and hardworking. Appreciate your work and what you have to offer to the world instead of striving to be the best in everything.
Method 2 of 3: Enjoy Good Health
Step 1. Start exercising
It is very effective for noticing changes. Not only will it improve your physical appearance and make you feel good, it will also benefit your overall health. Exercise fights anxiety and stress, it also helps to relax and releases endorphins, which improve mood.
- To start, take a 30-minute walk 3 times a week.
- Take a hike to a park you've never visited before.
- Join the gym and take a spinning, weightlifting, zumba or crossfit class.
- Sign up for a 5k marathon you've always wanted to do and start training.
Step 2. Eat healthy
Changing your eating habits is another effective way to control your life. By adopting a healthy lifestyle you will lose weight, you will feel better and your health will also benefit. Start small and add something new every 1-2 weeks. Even making small changes can allow you to reap great psychophysical benefits.
- Eliminate processed foods, including canned meats, take-out food, and packaged snacks. They won't do you any good.
- Replace processed and artificial foods with healthy ones. Eat fruits and vegetables. Prefer carbohydrates such as quinoa and oats. Eat lean meats, such as fish and chicken. Eating healthy doesn't mean starving. You simply have to make better choices at the table.
- For breakfast, try an omelette with tomatoes, spinach, ham and avocado. You can also make oatmeal with fresh fruit (strawberries, pineapple, banana), nuts, and dark chocolate chips.
- For lunch, make a salad with vegetables and sautéed vegetables, such as kale, asparagus, carrots, broccoli, avocado or tomatoes. Add legumes like chickpeas, cannellini or black beans, and proteins like chicken, tilapia, salmon, or feta.
- Choose a lean protein source for dinner and accompany it with a variety of vegetables.
Step 3. Get rid of all the vices
This also helps to get your life back on track. If you drink too much, give up alcohol. Stop smoking. Consider all the bad habits you have and start changing them.
Remember to start gradually, don't try to do it all at once. It can be extremely difficult to break a habit like smoking
Step 4. Make small changes
When you try to change your diet and start exercising, go step by step. Don't try to change everything at once, otherwise you risk failure. It is a gradual process. Every time you adopt a new habit you are preparing to change another. Every little success is a step towards improving yourself, and at some point the little changes will add up to give you noteworthy results.
- To get started, list what you want to change, then think about how to do it. Consider the list. What do you think you can achieve in a week? You may not feel ready to give up sugar, but you can have a healthy breakfast. It starts from here. Get into a new habit (like giving up sugars, carbohydrates, and sodas or weight lifting) from week to week. Once you have gained momentum and achieved good results, it won't seem impossible to keep changing.
- For a week, always try to cook at home. If you eat out most days, make a point of staying at home or not going out for at least four to five days a week.
- Aim to exercise every day. Consider your schedule to determine when you can. Remember that "I don't have time" is not a valid excuse! Determine which days you can go for a run in the park. When you're too busy to go to the gym or jog, look for an exercise video on YouTube that is at least 30 minutes long.
Method 3 of 3: Get organized
Step 1. Every day set aside 10 minutes to clean
It seems like a short time, but for a busy person who thinks their life is out of control it is often difficult to find even 10 minutes free. Cut them out every day to clean a part of the house. Of course you can't do everything, but don't worry. You are taking small steps to improve the space you live in and it will make you feel better.
- Set the stopwatch for 10 minutes and turn on the stereo. Make the bed, tidy up the laundry, load the dishwasher, vacuum and so on.
- Clean one room a day: the bedroom on Mondays, the bathroom on Tuesdays and the kitchen on Wednesdays. This way you will tidy up the entire house over the course of the week.
Step 2. Focus on one thing at a time
Lives are chaotic. The commitments are many, but the hours are few. In a world overrun by technology, for a good part of the day you try to accomplish several things at the same time. While it can be effective, it can also be counterproductive, making you feel even more disorganized and overworked. Try to focus on one task at a time.
- Instead of working on five different projects and making little progress on each one, choose one and dedicate yourself completely to it until you finish it. You will have one less thing to think about.
- Don't try to clean the whole house in one go. Focus on one room and only move to another when you're done.
Step 3. Set aside certain days for certain activities
Since commitments pile up and this is frustrating, set aside days to focus on the tasks you tend to put aside in daily life.
- Examine your mail, do your laundry, or recycle.
- You can dedicate these days to commitments that aren't strictly associated with your daily and professional life, such as answering emails, calling your parents, or going to lunch with a friend.
Step 4. Use technology to your advantage
Smartphones are practical and can help you tidy up your life. There are apps for just about anything, so you can set reminders, write down tasks on a calendar, and keep everything in one place.
- Try using an app that allows you to create lists. You will be able to list everything you need to do in a day, a week or in general. Also use it to make lists of things that interest you, such as the movies you want to see and the activities you want to do in your spare time.
- Use fitness apps, which will guide you through workouts and athletic training programs. Some help count calories and offer recipes for weight loss. Still others send out reminders to remind you to drink water. These apps can help keep you on track, motivate you and remind you to take care of your well-being.
