When something makes sense, it also has a purpose and is rich in meaning. Likewise, a meaningful life is accompanied by the perception of purpose and meaning. Feeling that one's life is inconsistent and has no direction is the antechamber of depression and despair. Making sense of your life is not an exact science, but it is a possible achievement if you are willing to dedicate time and some reflection to the path.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Changing Perspective
Step 1. Try to find out your purpose
The feeling that you have a purpose, that it is important to you and others, and that you put your best energy and time into it can make your life meaningful. Succeeding, however, may require several attempts. If photography appeals to you, borrow a camera or take a class and evaluate how you feel. Or maybe you are interested in helping others and are good at communicating - try tutoring to see if teaching satisfies you. Here are other items that can help you find purpose:
- Imagine yourself old as you reflect on your past. What kind of life would you have wanted? Would it have pleased you to spend your life traveling the world, but without the certainty of a family? Or would you rather feel proud and content if you had a large and healthy family?
- Write down your strengths and attitudes. How could you benefit from it? In work? As a volunteer or as a friend?
- Take a few moments each night for a week to write down events and activities that have given you excitement, pleasure and a sense of purpose and ones that have not made you feel that way. At the end of the week, reflect on the list and try to think about how to value the things that give you joy and passion.
Step 2. Find out what's important to you
Everyone has different priorities; understanding what yours are is essential to living a life that makes sense. List five things that are more relevant to you than others, then consider whether they are valued in your life as you would like. If not, how could you change your existence to give more prominence to what is important to you?
- You could list things like family or health. Or creativity, availability towards others, freedom, curiosity, growth in education, work, wealth, etc.
- If "creativity" is at the top of the list and you work as an accountant, you may be entertaining the idea of changing jobs or finding ways to incorporate it into your life (for example, taking painting classes, writing in your spare time, acting in an organized show. from the community, etc.).
Step 3. Write down the reasons why you feel the need to make your life more meaningful
Why do you feel you need it? Have you experienced a traumatic event? You may feel overwhelmed by the daily grind, but write down the reasons why you want to make more sense of your life, whatever they are. You can write them on a sheet of paper or type them on your computer. Doing so will help you understand the value they have for you and also organize your thoughts.
- Try to understand the importance of living with purpose. Having it improves the quality of life and can also contribute to lengthening it.
- Be aware that meaningful doesn't mean the same as happy. You can be happy and not live a meaningful life. Conversely, a meaningful life does not necessarily mean that you are happy. It does not mean that happiness is not important, but only that the two concepts should not be confused and that they do not always travel together.
Step 4. Give yourself purpose
Think of something you've always wanted. Maybe you would like to go jogging or maybe write a novel. Whatever it is, setting yourself a goal to make your dream come true will help you feel useful.
- If you want to run a marathon, you can have this as your ultimate goal. However, it is important to break down a goal into more specific and manageable sub-goals. Across all disciplines, there is evidence to suggest that splitting a large goal into phases or into simpler, more viable goals increases the likelihood of achieving it.
- Record your progress in a diary. It will be useful when you feel less motivated because it makes it possible to renew your motivation and control the path you have traveled.
Step 5. Change the way you think about your career
Martin Luther King Jr. once said, "Whatever your life's work, do it right." If you have a job that you don't find sensible, focus on doing it better than others. This in itself can make sense of it because it presupposes that you go to work every day with a purpose in mind.
You can also find small tricks in your work that can help you help others or even just yourself. For example, if you work in a daycare, you not only help the children you care for, but also family members by allowing them time to go to work or take care of personal things. If you are a teacher, you not only help other people to learn, but you also learn a lot about different topics
Step 6. Be aware of the things you are grateful for
It sounds trivial, but taking the time to write down or at least jot down the things you are grateful for can make you feel like your life makes more sense. Expressing gratitude for what you have instead of worrying about what you don't have can help you focus and connect with your surroundings. Getting in tune with nature, with other people or with a higher power can help give meaning to life.
- For example, you may be grateful for your comfortable bed or for not having to get up early in the morning or for having a friend you can call at any time of the day or night.
- Try to learn to become aware of the great things you can always rely on. Even if it can mean taking note of something that makes you feel grateful for just a few moments each day.
- Cultivating gratitude is a reminder for the good things in life even when something unpleasant happens or not everything goes as planned. Stopping thinking that you should always have more can help you discover what truly makes sense to you.
Step 7. Seek help
Sometimes we are so immersed in our thoughts that it is difficult to find solutions. If you are having a hard time, you can speak to a mental illness specialist who can give you an unbiased opinion. You could also talk to a trusted friend or family member who may have had similar experiences or can simply suggest things to try.
Don't let the stigma that often surrounds psychotherapy discourage you. Almost everyone can benefit from being able to talk about our fears and concerns with an impartial person
Part 2 of 2: Making Changes
Step 1. Build close relationships
You can do this with family members or friends you already have, but also with new people. Either way, take the time to build close relationships. This is a great way to make your life meaningful because these relationships guarantee strong bonds and benefits in terms of affection and support as well. Here are some ways to strengthen relationships:
- Become a great listener. Instead of just waiting your turn to speak or checking your phone while someone is talking, focus your attention on the speaker and what he is saying. To show that you are listening, nod, ask clarification questions, and repeat things he said (such as "So, he's saying that …").
- Learn correct ways to express emotions. Knowing how to handle anger can help keep you from yelling, reacting rude, or acting violently towards others.
- Prove that you are trustworthy. When you say you will do something, finish and do it for real. Be honest and consistent and if you're wrong, acknowledge it.
Step 2. Address problems in current relationships
Sometimes having close relationships with people can be very challenging. The reasons that make them difficult can be many, but one is related to the fact that those close to you often stimulate you to confide in yourself or to reflect on your beliefs.
- Despite the stress that this can bring from time to time, research has shown that relationships, unless they involve physical or moral violence, are important in developing the meaning of the term "meaningful life".
- Consider family or couples therapy to help you cope better with family or partner problems. A psychotherapist can act as a mediator and help you communicate healthily and effectively.
- Learn to set boundaries. Doing it right protects yourself and improves self-esteem.
- Communicate assertively. Being assertive doesn't mean being aggressive - it means that you assert your needs while respecting those of others.
Step 3. Be compassionate
The Dalai Lama said: "Compassion is what gives meaning to our life." Sometimes it can be easy, but it is often a challenge. When you see someone in pain or doing something that bothers you, try putting yourself in their shoes. Think about how you would feel or behave if you were faced with the same situation. If you do so, there is hope that he will be encouraged to take action, either by trying to help the person in pain or by showing understanding.
- This also applies to your attitude towards yourself. Sometimes you will make mistakes and that's okay. Try to be as compassionate to yourself as to someone you really care about.
- Merciful actions stimulate the pleasure centers of the brain, so you feel great whenever you can help someone. Additionally, compassionate people manage to be better friends, parents, and spouses, so showing compassion can help improve relationships.
Step 4. Make donations
While at first glance it may not seem like a way to express gratitude, donating time and money to help support an organization or donating goods (for example, canned food to a canteen) is a way to show that you appreciate what you have.. There are many ways to be charitable. You can donate time, money, your skills or just take a few minutes to a friend in need. However, realize that you cannot donate just one hour of your time once a year. Research indicates that you need to be consistently charitable to benefit from it.
- Try an activity you enjoy by volunteering. Again this helps put life into perspective, especially if you volunteer with people, animals, or in situations that are worse than you may have faced.
- For example, if you love animals, volunteer as often as you can at local kennels. If you love children, check if you can help at a local orphanage or a municipal shelter.
Step 5. Research for a new career
Perhaps you have already tried to change the attitude towards the current job with no results. Maybe it's time to consider choosing a new job.
- Before you find a meaningless one, take the time to write down the things that matter to you in life. For example, you might appreciate kindness or generosity or help people or make people laugh. Write down everything that comes to your mind and by doing so you can discover what you would really like to do.
- Consider the activities you could do without getting paid. For example, if you enjoy volunteering in soup kitchens, why not think about a career to help the homeless. Many non-profit organizations are looking for people to organize housing, develop legal aid programs and / or provide advice.
- It is also possible to do an internship in a position that you find interesting. This will help you decide if it's the right job for you without having to make any major changes.
Step 6. Try to have courage
Reflecting on daily habits is frightening. It requires being truly honest with yourself about how you live your life. It may take big changes to get a sense of purpose and it will be a journey to dedicate your entire life to.
- If what you really want to do is something that requires big changes (e.g. travel, invest a lot of your savings, or break daily habits), then you really need to try and look beyond fears. Often it is these that prevent us from doing what we really want.
- Having confidence in yourself and acknowledging your fears can help you find this courage.
