Don't you want to go to school today? You have not done your homework? Do you have a gym class? Or do you just feel tired? Here's how to pretend you're sick to skip class!
Steps
Method 1 of 5: Start Pretending the Previous Night
Step 1. Start showing mild symptoms the night before
If you want to stay home the following day, tell mom or dad that you are not feeling well the night before.
- Don't say it too soon the day before, as some illnesses go away overnight, such as stomach pain. Start symptoms after 6:30 PM or after dinner.
- If you've already been a victim of a virus or disease, mimic those symptoms; you will give less of the impression of pretending. If you've had contact with someone with a cold or similar illness, mimic those symptoms to simulate an infection.
- Slap your cheeks. When you start to get cold or get sick, your cheeks turn red. You can mimic this symptom by repeatedly slapping your cheeks when your parents can't see. Don't overdo it though, or you'll get hurt!
- Be awkward, to give the impression that you are sick or tired.
Step 2. Don't do something you normally would like to do
Parents will believe you more if you sacrifice something you enjoy doing as well as something you don't like (going to school).
- Don't finish your favorite dish at dinner. When your parents ask you what's wrong, you can tell them your tummy hurts. Make sure you hide snacks in your room so they can skip a meal and make them think you're sick.
- If you have plans with friends, don't go out with them.
- Ask not to spend time with family or watch your favorite TV show.
- Go to bed earlier than usual.
Step 3. Start your homework, but don't finish it
This will give the impression that you are not already thinking about staying home, and it will also give you a reason not to go to school.
- If you normally do your homework in the evening, start, but lower your head periodically so that the parents see that you are not feeling well and are unable to work in the usual way.
- If you usually do your homework on time, keep doing it, to give the impression that you want to go to school, but in the middle of work you complain that you are not feeling well.
- By not finishing your homework, you will have another excuse to stay home.
- This method is most effective if your parents care about your grades.
Step 4. Go to bed early
Going to bed early will be a warning sign, especially if you usually try to stay up longer than you are allowed to.
- Don't say anything or just say that you don't feel well and you have to lie down.
- Alternatively, try grabbing your parents' attention by walking next to them or by walking out of the room and going straight to bed.
- Don't brush your teeth. If your parents notice this, they will probably come to remind you. At that point, they will likely wonder what is wrong and you can tell that you are not feeling well.
- Be impatient, perhaps even irritable, and eager to go to bed. Do not be too irritable, though: you want your parents to feel compassion for you being sick, not to punish you for being rude!
Step 5. Wake up in the middle of the night
Wake up and wake up your parents at around 1:00 am and tell them you are not feeling well.
- If you're pretending to have stomach problems, tell them you just threw up (after leaving fake vomit in the bathroom).
- Cry on command (if you can), to give the impression that you are really sick.
- For flu or sore throat symptoms, cough or clear your throat, making enough noise for your parents to hear from their room. Rub your face vigorously right before they come to check on you, to be red and look sick.
Step 6. Stay up all night
By doing this in the morning you will have bags under your eyes, and you will have a legitimate reason to stay home.
- Go to sleep an hour or two after your usual sleep time. This may cause you to get small bags under your eyes or make them slightly puffy.
- Try to get at least 4 hours of sleep if you don't want to be too tired the next day.
Method 2 of 5: Reinforce Morning Sickness
Step 1. Wake up earlier than parents and quietly prepare fake vomit
Put it in the toilet and pretend to throw up. If the parents don't wake up, go to them and tell them what just happened.
Step 2. Dress unwillingly
Don't prepare for school. Instead, you give the impression that it is a difficult task to accomplish.
- Dress slowly, but not too much. Skip a button on your shirt, don't comb your hair well, and don't tie your shoes.
- Make sure you have "sick" eyes. Think of something sad and wet your eyes with tears. You can also rub them lightly to make them more bloodshot.
Step 3. Pretend you have dark circles
Even if you got enough sleep the previous night and don't have natural bags under your eyes, it's easy to artificially create them.
- Get lavender or blue eyeshadow.
- Mix some water to give the color a more natural hue.
- Rub it well into your skin, but make the makeup visible.
- You could also rub petroleum jelly under your eyes.
Step 4. Eat breakfast
Lack of appetite is a common symptom of malaise. Your parents will be particularly concerned if you love breakfast, or if they've made you your favorite dish.
Step 5. Complain if they suggest you should stay home
When parents decide you should stay home, don't just shrug and accept the decision.
- Protest the decision (but only if you didn't have to convince them before). This will reinforce the belief that you are really sick.
- You could say: "Mom, but I will have to work hard to recover!", Or: "But today I have the math test!". If parents know that these things don't interest you, say: "But today I have a music or art lesson", or talk about something they know you appreciate.
- Do not overdo it. Don't say you want to do a homework if your parents never believe you do. It could be counterproductive if you aren't careful.
Method 3 of 5: Faking a Specific Illness
Step 1. Pretend to have an irritation
An allergic reaction or another type of contagious rash will force you to stay home.
- First, scratch your chest until it's red.
- Try to scratch in a circular fashion to give the vent a more realistic look.
- Finally, try to accompany the rash with other symptoms, such as a runny nose or headache.
Step 2. Pretend you have a fever
If you manage to look sick, your parents will probably want to take your temperature. Be prepared to act fast and pretend you have a fever.
- Ask to go to the bathroom before they take your temperature.
- Make sure you have a cup with you. Fill it with warm drinking water and rinse your mouth, especially under the tongue. The mouth temperature will rise.
- Make sure you flush the toilet before you open the sink so your parents won't get too suspicious!
- Note: This method will only work if they take the temperature under your tongue, of course. If the thermometer goes into your ear, try taking it before they take your temperature and hold it near something hot, like a radiator or light bulb.
- If your parents just put a hand on your forehead, rub it quickly when they're not looking, or grab a hair dryer and warm your face, saying your forehead is hot.
- Put warm water under your armpits, forehead, and cheeks. You will be warmer and will appear to have sweated.
- Try to reach a temperature above 37 ° C, but below 39.5 ° C. If the temperature is below 37 ° C a person is not considered to have a fever, and above 39.5 ° C you will be immediately taken to the doctor.
Step 3. Pretend a migraine
It is very easy to fake a headache, because there is no way to know if you are telling the truth. By faking the typical symptoms of this condition, parents will believe you.
- The light and sounds should bother you.
- Claim that only a specific area of your head hurts, such as the one above your right eyebrow. This is very important if you want to fake a migraine.
- Touch your forehead from time to time and make a grimace of pain.
- Say you feel dizzy and can't see well. As you walk slowly, stop abruptly, close your eyes and "regain your balance" by holding on to someone or something.
- Ask your parents if they can keep their voices down.
- The day before what you want to skip, take a nap and turn off all the lights, or, if you are resting at home, turn off the closest light to you and lie down on the nearest sofa.
- Ask for drugs or pills, but don't take them.
Step 4. Pretend you have diarrhea
This method works best right after you have breakfast.
- Suddenly you run to the bathroom.
- Spend some time in the bathroom, flush the toilet, and spray deodorant to cover up the non-existent odor.
- You can also try creating fake diarrhea.
Step 5. Pretend conjunctivitis
Conjunctivitis is very common and very contagious! If there is any doubt that you have conjunctivitis, you will undoubtedly stay at home.
- Get some red lipstick and petroleum jelly and rub them on the lid of one eye.
- But make sure you only do it for a eye, because conjunctivitis rarely infects both of them.
Step 6. Pretend you are suffering from stomach pain, nausea, or abdominal cramps
Other than your words, the only real real symptom is vomiting, which you can fake easily.
- After eating, start complaining that you feel bad.
- If your parents aren't looking, stick two fingers down your throat, but not too deep, so you can gag, but don't throw up. When you feel that you might be throwing up, take your fingers out immediately. Use this technique rarely, however, so as not to risk hurting yourself.
- Make fake vomit to complete the effect. Grab some oatmeal and some water, run to the bathroom, put water and oats in your mouth, you can spit it out on the sink.
- You can also fake an accident by pouring fake vomit on the floor (or on the bed, to make it even more believable). In the morning, say you don't remember what happened and apologize to whoever has to clean up.
- If you are a girl and you have started having your period, tell your parents that you have cramps or that it is that time of the month. Your dad probably won't want to talk about it and your mom will understand. Neither can prove that you are faking it.
Step 7. Pretend you have a cold or the flu
These diseases are easy to imitate. They are also very contagious, so your parents probably won't send you to school, where you run the risk of infecting your classmates.
- Blow your nose with lots of handkerchiefs and throw them on the floor, nightstand or bed. Your parents will think you have a runny nose and won't let you go to school with such a severe cold.
- Breathe only with your mouth, as if your nose is blocked.
- If you are not in the same room as your parents, and they ask you something, hold your nose when you talk.
- Wear many layers of clothing. So you will give the impression of being shivering and cold.
- Sneeze loudly, then sniff at your parents. Do this even when they're in another room so they can hear you.
- Stretch your lips to make them look chapped (or alternatively put on a lot of lip balm to give the impression that you want to "heal" them) and twist your nose to make it redder.
- He says that your bones are "hurting" or that you feel a lot of widespread pain.
Step 8. Pretend you have a sore throat
Be careful not to give the impression that you have a bacterial infection, as otherwise you will end up at the doctor right away.
- When you walk, keep your mouth open to make your throat dry.
- Avoid drinking and eating.
- Suck red throat lozenges to make your throat red.
- You grimace in pain when you swallow. Speak in a deep, scratched tone and constantly sip water.
- Say that your throat feels sore, or that you have the impression of swallowing glass.
Method 4 of 5: Continue Throughout the Day
Step 1. Address the expectations of the parents
Your parents will likely check how you are doing throughout the day, to make sure you are not pretending to be sick, or to see if you are better.
- If your parents are home with you, pretend to be asleep and make sure you stick to the staging when they check on how you are doing.
- If the parents are at work, call to update them. This will make you look responsible and will not give the impression that you are enjoying yourself.
- If they call you to check on you from work, wait for the phone to ring 3 or 4 times before answering, and use a tired tone of voice.
Step 2. Show signs of improvement
If you stay home, pretend to sleep a lot and gradually start "feeling better".
- About the middle of the day, drop one or two symptoms.
- If you don't show any signs of improvement at the end of the day, the parents may take you to the doctor, who will notice that you don't have any physical problems.
- If you think your parents will take you to the doctor, try to "recover" from the disease.
Step 3. Keep a low profile
You should be sick at home, remember ?!
- Don't go out and don't be seen outside the house. If a neighbor or friend of your parents sees you, they may tell yours.
- Make sure you put all your toys away before your parents get home. If they saw that you enjoyed it, they would suspect you were faking it.
- Clear your internet history so they don't notice you were playing on the computer.
Method 5 of 5: Fooling the Teacher and the School Nurse
Step 1. Get permission to go to the infirmary
Depending on the school, you will need to have the teacher's permission to go to the infirmary. Nurses are experts and usually recognize the pretender right away. It can be easy to fool them, though, if you make two visits to the infirmary at two different times of the day.
- Wait an hour or two after school starts, then ask the teacher if you can go to the bathroom.
- After taking more time than necessary, go back to class and say you threw up and need to go to the infirmary.
Step 2. Ask the nurse if you can "lie down"
Start with simple requests and don't immediately say "I want to go home".
- When you first get to the nurse, tell her that you are not feeling well, that you are dizzy or that you are sleepy.
- Ask if you can rest for a while before going back to class. This will give the impression that you don't necessarily want to go home, and that you are trying to get through the school day.
Step 3. Pretend to fall asleep
Your story will seem more realistic and you will really give the impression that you are not feeling well.
- Don't overdo it by snoring, but just cover your face with a pillow or rag.
- This will give the impression that you are sensitive to light (a symptom of migraine) and are trying to rest.
Step 4. Falsify Clinical Trials
The nurse may want to conduct some tests to confirm your history.
- If he wants to take your blood pressure, hold your breath as he does. This will help lower your blood pressure and make you look sick.
- Tell the nurse that you threw up; he probably won't question it.
- The nurse will also take your temperature. Prepare for an oral thermometer by rinsing your mouth with warm water just before your visit, or by running to warm up and raise your temperature.
Step 5. Make a second visit to the infirmary
If the nurse sends you back to class, don't worry. This just means that you will be ready for a second visit and to be sent home.
- Tell the nurse that you tried to stay in class but you still don't feel well and can't concentrate. They are the winning words.
- Tell her that you are starting to feel the symptoms of the flu, nausea, etc.
- Don't overcomplicate things. Don't exaggerate the symptoms too much and don't pretend too many. Just say that you feel "bad", that "you have a headache" and that "you can't concentrate in class because you are bad".
-
You may be tempted to ask to call your parents, but do not do it!
This is an alarm bell that tells the nurse that you are pretending to be sick.
Advice
- If you have makeup, use a pale foundation and apply black eyeshadow under the eyes. Pink can also make you look sore.
- If you want to leave school, eat something you don't like and tell the teachers that you ate something bad.
- If the parents put their hand on your arm and ask you what you feel, you have to say "cold", NOT "hot".
- A quick solution (very desperate indeed), for experts. Do you drink a lot of caffeine? If you are serious about pretending, don't drink anything that contains caffeine all day before the staging, not even in the morning. If you are addicted to caffeine, you may be suffering from a bad headache due to withdrawal. The good thing is that you will be really sick, and therefore you have a valid reason not to go to school. The only downside is that you probably won't be able to do anything, so if you have plans for your "free" time, this method is not suitable. However, it would be ideal if you want to avoid a class assignment, leave school early, or stay directly at home.
- Research how parents find kids pretending to be sick so you can counter their techniques.
- Don't beg too much to stay home, or your parents may know you're faking it.
- If they don't fall for it, call them from school. You can sound much more convincing if you actually go to school and later complain that you feel so sick that you can't stand it anymore (ideal for skipping a class test).
- If you pretend you have a cold, you can say you need to use the Vicks VapoRub to help you breathe. The smell easily invokes the idea of being sick and would make you more believable. Wiping some on your nose could cause it to run, so you really need to blow it all the time.
- Don't bookmark web pages and don't download stuff to your computer or your parents will notice.
- Pay attention to what you say. Don't create too complex a staging. Say something like: "My stomach hurts a lot. I feel really bad." You will receive the compassion of the parents, who will let you stay at home. But if you say, "Oh, I feel so bad, it must be something I ate," you will provoke responses such as "Where did you eat this? Do we have to go to the hospital? Did you eat something bad?" Before you know it, you will be found out.
Warnings
- Don't pretend to be sick for more than 3 days. Parents may take you to the doctor, who will discover your deception.
- Don't skip a full week of school. The fun of spending a day off will turn into worrying about being far behind and having to catch up. Better to skip school on a Saturday (to enjoy the whole weekend) or Monday (to skip the worst day).
- Don't "heal" miraculously as soon as you stayed home, as that would be very suspicious. Slowly heal from one symptom at a time.
- Feeling sick too often can lead to your parents not trusting you. When you really need a day off, they may not believe you. It will be enough to be discovered once to lose your credibility (think of the fable of "wolf, wolf").
- Viruses typically last around 24 hours. Don't fake a gut virus for a longer period.
- If parents offer you painkillers or medications, you shouldn't take them even if they're watching you. Say you don't need it, because drugs can cause side effects. If you have to pick them up, be sure to spit them out later. Remember that you can take cough lozenges even if you are not sick, but no more than the recommended dose.
- Don't pretend you have a urinary tract infection (pretending you always have to go to the bathroom and saying it burns when you urinate). This is a serious condition and you will be taken to the doctor, even if the symptoms go away. You would be treated with antibiotics that could make you nauseous and cause candidiasis in girls.
- Do not take real medications for any reason and do not make yourself vomit. There are no safe drugs. They all have side effects, and even the over-the-counter ones can make you sick if you don't have any health problems. Inducing vomiting is also dangerous: it can lead to damage to the stomach, esophagus and teeth.
- Don't pretend the same disease over and over and don't pretend two are too close in time. Your parents would understand that you are pretending.
- If you are skipping school to avoid something, remember that it will come back in the future. Take a deep breath, prepare yourself mentally, and remember that it will be over when the bell rings. Deal with what makes you nervous by going to school anyway.
