Sometimes pretending can give you the push you need to move in a certain direction, in this case towards more positivity. While you should never lie or try to appear different than you are, there are times when you need to gather your energy and do everything in our power to get over the situation that ails us. Maybe you've made a mistake during a presentation or hate the idea of having to attend a certain event, all you need might be a little courage to hold on until you've left that situation behind.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Looking Happy
Step 1. Smile
An easy way to look and act like you are happy is to smile. Did you know that a smile can actually improve mood? Smiling can arouse a feeling of happiness just as happiness can arouse a smile.
- Try to smile by involving your whole face, not just your lips. You need to feel your cheeks and eyes moving as you smile broadly. This way of smiling is associated with positive emotions.
- If you feel upset or irritable, counter those negative feelings with a smile. Try to connect with the feelings it arouses and start feeling happy.
Step 2. Pretend to be competent even if you are not
Dealing with an uncomfortable situation without looking or feeling upset is an important skill, which comes primarily from self-confidence. If you have a presentation and are worried, tap into your innate confidence, even if public speaking is something that would normally make you want to run away and go into hiding. Tell yourself you can do it. There is a good chance that by expressing confidence (even if in a forced or unnatural way at first) people will convince themselves that you are competent.
- Speak loudly and clearly and act as if you have complete confidence in your abilities.
- Remember that this technique also works in reverse. If you approach a presentation feeling intimidated, many details may reveal your fear, such as speaking in a shaky voice, avoiding eye contact, agitated gestures, etc.
Step 3. Change your body language
If you keep your arms or legs crossed, gaze down, and shoulders tightly forward, people around you may think it's best not to get close. Some studies have shown that an open and correct posture is able to positively influence both the mood and the level of self-esteem. By changing your body language, your mind will also be convinced that you feel more confident.
- Practice keeping your shoulders wide apart (to look and feel bigger and stronger) or keeping your hands on your hips.
- Make gestures of exultation before facing a situation that makes you anxious, such as raising your arms to the sky as a sign of victory.
Step 4. Relax
Relaxation techniques can help you keep anxiety under control and feel more comfortable. When you are agitated, restless or sad, try using them to regain your balance. Doing so could be especially helpful in preparation for a presentation or event that makes you anxious.
- Slow down your breathing rate and start counting: 4 seconds for the inhalations and another 4 for the exhalations. When you feel comfortable doing this, extend the length of the intervals to 6 seconds, continuing to observe how the air enters and exits your body.
- Use the progressive muscle relaxation technique to relax tense muscles. Focus on the different parts of the body, one after the other, to release all tension. Start at the toes, contracting and relaxing them alternately, then continue with all the other muscle groups through the legs, torso, arms, neck, up to the head.
Part 2 of 2: Acting Like a Happy Person
Step 1. Put things in perspective
There are some situations you have to deal with trying to look natural even if you actually feel uncomfortable or upset. In these cases, think about how your behavior will affect the future. For example, if you're worried about meeting your partner's parents for the first time, it's a good time to use this technique to make a good impression. However, try to understand that it is not mandatory to look or act at your best in all circumstances. From time to time consider whether you have the option of simply avoiding a given situation or whether it is better to grit your teeth and deal with it.
If you've just broken your leg and are in a lot of pain, there's no need to pretend that everything is fine. The same is true when you face a difficult or painful ordeal, such as overcoming the loss of a loved one. In these cases, there is nothing wrong with being sad
Step 2. Make an effort to change your attitude, especially in view of an event you don't like
Take some time to reflect and find ways to reframe negative thoughts about the situation before they become obsessive. Focus your attention on possible positive aspects or implications to free your mind from negativity. Evaluate what attitude you are dealing with the situation and try to determine if you are acting in your best interest. If you are able to view circumstances more positively, chances are you will be able to feel peaceful long enough to get over the difficult situation.
- If you have to attend an event that you don't want to attend, try to change your attitude. Remind yourself that this is a rare occurrence that you have the ability to cope with and overcome, even if you anticipate it will not be pleasant. You may meet interesting people, taste some tasty food, or be pleasantly surprised by having the chance to learn something new.
- Recognize that the event in question could have positive implications and give less importance to the potentially negative ones.
- For more tips you can read this article.
Step 3. Use the internal dialogue in your favor
If you have a hard time looking or feeling happy, your mind is likely to be filled with negative thoughts. By acting on the internal dialogue you can shift your attention from such useless and harmful thoughts to others that help you calm down and feel more serene. This will automatically make you seem happier, so getting over the difficult situation will require less effort. Here are some examples of positive internal dialogue:
- "Even if I don't feel well, I can still do a good job";
- "I am currently facing an unpleasant situation, but I know that soon I will be able to go home and leave it behind";
- "I'm here to have fun."
Step 4. Cultivate a sense of gratitude
If you have trouble even pretending to be happy, try looking for reasons to feel grateful. People who are able to experience feelings of gratitude have been shown to experience higher levels of happiness and physical well-being, for example, they sleep better, are more empathic and have greater self-confidence. Think about circumstances that you look forward to and feel grateful for the little things in everyday life, like having a roof over your head, walking outdoors in the sun, having a good friend, etc. By doing this exercise regularly you may even start to feel happier rather than just acting like you are.
List five things that make you feel happy and satisfied. It could even be just rejoicing that there are no dishes to wash in the sink. Then think about a situation that made you feel sad or frustrated and describe it in writing. Next, list three things that helped you appreciate that difficult time. Maybe you arrived late for work because you had to stop and refuel, but that way you had the opportunity to enjoy your favorite coffee. Or you have found that your boss is able to show understanding if you are occasionally late. Consider if in a few weeks you will still remember what happened
Step 5. Accept people's support
Strengthen your bonds and improve your social skills. Don't isolate yourself in times of need, connect with people. Try to have conversations every day, having social relationships can help you feel better. While doing so takes effort, nurture bonds with the people you care about and remember that they too care about your happiness. Being able to act like you are happy can be a lot less complicated when you are surrounded by people who love you.
- If you tend to isolate yourself, understand that this behavior of yours can lead or contribute to feelings of sadness or depression. Social relationships are an important part of life.
- Especially when you are faced with a difficult situation, it is important that there are people who are ready to listen to you and give you their support.
Step 6. Get help
If you frequently try to look and act like you are happy when in reality you are not, it is best to seek professional help. There is no use pretending to be fine if you are never in the least peaceful inside.
- If you are feeling chronically unhappy, you may be suffering from depression. For more information you can read these two articles: "How To Know If You Have Depression" and "Recovering From Depression".
- If you need advice on finding someone to help you get better, read this article.
Advice
- Remember that your emotions are only about you and no one else. Don't try to act like you're happy just because you think someone might like you. Those people are most likely more interested in connecting with you in an authentic way.
- Try to be positive rather than pessimistic and grumpy. By acting like you are happy, you may start to feel better. As the Anglo-Saxons usually say "fake it until you make it!", That is, pretend until you succeed!
