Finding a way to handle your more sensitive side as a couple? Easier said that done. If you tend to be a particularly emotional person and love brings out the worst in you in this regard, identifying techniques or methods to erode that sensitivity is not like drinking a glass of water. However, if you have been hurt many times in the past because you have thrown yourself into the void, use your current relationship to help curb your strong emotions a little while still having a good time and getting involved in the bond.
Steps
Step 1. Examine where the relationship is
Are you the classic type of person who believes in love at first sight and gets overwhelmed with adoration from day one? At first, getting carried away by an excess of emotions can be extremely dangerous, possibly lethal to the relationship. You need to know when to have fun without ruminating and see where this relationship might lead you to know when to seriously consider deeper emotions.
- Have you recently started dating someone? Now is the time to “test yourself” and have a good time. If you feel overwhelmed by emotions at first, take a minute to determine why you are so easily blown away. Remember, the first few months of dating are comparable to a job interview. You don't know for sure if this is the right person for you, so finding out about each other is a way to help you determine if you're right for each other, without obligation.
- Are you at the stage where you think about whether to migrate from casual dating to a full-fledged relationship status? At this point, you understand that you may have a lasting relationship with this person. You are looking for a more serious relationship and you hope your partner wants the same. During this stage of the game, you can be slightly more serious and less superficial about the relationship. While it's not worth talking about marriage or moving in together for now, you should welcome the fact that you've found someone you can trust and love spending time with.
- The relationship could result in marriage or a long-term engagement. After being together for some time, your partner may discover your deep sensitivity, and maybe that's why they love you. While knowing each other on a more intimate level, you discern between a positive emotion, such as joy, happiness, or love, and a dark emotion, such as jealousy or resentment. If your feelings are not positive and hide deleterious emotions, you will need to talk more seriously with your partner about what you feel and why (you suspect he is cheating on you or, between an evening with you and one with his friends, he always chooses them instead. your).
Step 2. Identify your emotional triggers
Find your weak points and find out how to keep them under control so as not to be overwhelmed by emotions. Damping them will not only be good for your relationship, it will also be preferable for your mental health in the long run.
- Separation anxiety. If this person just wants to be your friend or your partner has to work overtime at work one night, does this news shock you? While you are not saying anything openly, do you feel bad and does it disturb you?
- Jealousy. Do you find it difficult to remain impassive when you see your partner conversing with other women? Or is your woman all flirting with everyone? What happens when you see the other person flirting or observe them in a situation where others are flirting with them? If there is actually no reason to suspect cheating, consider how your explicit jealousy affects the relationship. Does it bring you closer or does it tend to push you away?
- Stickiness. While you love this person very much, showing them by always having their breath on their necks or by demanding that they be tied to you 24/7 may not be the best for the relationship. Appeal to your sense of independence and remember that you are two entities that have united through love.
- External factors such as family or work. Do you become particularly emotional about your relationship in certain situations, such as being in the company of your family or at work events? Your emotional side may be more related to the situations in and of themselves than to how you feel in general.
Step 3. Determine what impact your emotions have on the relationship
Some people love to have a very emotional partner, but consider how your manifest emotions affect yourself and your self-esteem.
- Can you separate yourself from this person and function independently? Don't emotions allow you to become an independent person? Can you live both as a member of a couple and alone? If your emotions have taken over and seem to prevail, preventing you from being independent, you need to determine why you need another person to be happy and try to do more activities on your own.
- Does your partner seem to be moving away from you? Were your emotions the main reason you broke up with someone in the past? Has the other person pulled back or is he unhappy because what you are feeling is overwhelming the relationship? If you want the relationship to work, consider how your emotional expressions might sabotage you and why.
- Adopt an attitude inspired by the following phrase: "Whatever happens, I'll be fine." If you start a relationship thinking that you will die from a breakup or that you will do anything to keep it alive, you will not do yourself any favors. Be willing to move on if the relationship fails.
Step 4. Become more communicative instead of emotional
When a baby cries, he may feel a variety of emotions or physical sensations, and it is difficult to know for sure what is happening to him, because babies have no other communication skills. Fortunately, as an adult you don't have to resort to childish tears, you can use words instead. Don't rely on this old behavior or non-verbal and emotional bursts, consider a more methodical and communicative approach to explain how you feel. You can still let the other person know what you are feeling or what is happening to you by using your intellect and really conveying your emotion.
- Identify the emotion you are feeling and note when and why you feel a certain way. For example, if you are overwhelmed with jealousy, instead of sneaking around between bushes or fake plants at the next party you are both attending, grab a notebook and explain your jealousy on paper, including when it occurs. Does it happen when you attend social gatherings and other people court your partner or she filters in with others? Also, name specific meetings so you can articulate and relate to when and where you felt a certain way. Pick an appropriate time to discuss how you feel, don't do it during your emotional outbursts.
- Avoid putting your emotions into action at the same time you feel them. While feeling overwhelmed by love, instead of crushing the other person with a hug or jumping on them, wait a moment for your composure to regain your composure and calmly explain how you feel. Tell her why you started to love her and tell her when that feeling started to get stronger and stronger.
- Take responsibility for your emotions. Sometimes a person tries to explain to their partner why he made them feel a certain way. But no one can handle your emotions, only you can. Recognize your feelings and their motives. For example, if you experience separation anxiety, say, “I feel lonely when you are out of town. I like being with you and I am sad and lonely when you are away”. However, avoid getting angry with the other person or blaming them for what you feel. Take responsibility and resign yourself to the fact that you will have to intervene to improve this situation (such as calling your friends when he is not around or going to dinner with your parents).
Advice
- Don't blame yourself for being an emotional person. From emotions come a great creativity and a great spirit. Embrace this quality and learn to use it in your favor.
- Make sure your partner doesn't become your life. There are other things to do and try, don't put everything on one person.
- Look at the more superficial side of life. Not every aspect of existence should be heavy and serious. Take every opportunity you can to find the sense of humor and the lightness of the various situations.
