Do you have a friend or family member who is always late? Do you often wonder if it is he who needs to change or is it you who need to relax? In most cases, both are true. Meet your expectations first and then negotiate with Mr. or Mrs. Tardone. With any luck, you will be able to find a compromise that leaves both of you happy!
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Part One: Moderate Your Expectations
Step 1. Don't trust his punctuality
In other words, don't hope for it. Don't expect someone who is always late to suddenly be on time. If you have a friend or family member who has been consistently late for 27 years, chances are it won't change. Even if it promises that it will change. One who is chronically late will likely be late forever. Unless there is some serious drastic intervention - for which it may probably be too late!
Step 2. Find out why he is chronically late
It is likely not because he is selfish or out of a power freak. Easier than not being able to predict the time it takes to get things done, having a chaotic life or just being naturally inconstant. When you find out the cause of the symptom, it is easier not to get angry.
And consider its cultural environment. In some cultures, 6 o'clock really means 6 o'clock. In others it says 6 o'clock and actually means, "show up between 7 and 11 if you feel like it."
Step 3. See if you can relax a little
Okay, so that's his problem, but how could you change that? Maybe you could make your friend improve a little. Make a deal with yourself to only get angry if she is more than 20 minutes late. Anything less and it is justified. It sucks, but it saves you anguish.
When you know he will be late, you need to take some responsibility. Why get angry about a certain thing?
Step 4. Adjust your expectations - and your behavior
If you don't expect it to be on time, you won't be disappointed when it isn't. And if you don't expect it to be on time, you can be late too!
And if for some reason the universe stops and the only time you're late is on time, tell him it's a taste of his own medicine. Does he like his time being wasted? Probably not
Step 5. Give him an earlier arrival time than anyone else
The party starts at 9pm, but for the chronic latecomer, just say it starts at 8.30pm. Again, you're probably doing him a favor. You will certainly not be the only one who is irritated!
This only works until he understands your game. When he understands the hint, it might be time for a discussion
Step 6. Bring something to keep yourself busy
You will be angrier at your friend when he arrives late if all you had to do was wait for him. Bring a book or pen and paper with you so you can stay busy. Time will fly by and you may not even notice its delay.
Think of this as a reward if you can. You had an extra fifteen minutes to finish that book that was back. Impressive! Something not foreseen for inactivity
Method 2 of 2: Part Two: Dealing with the Laggard
Step 1. Determine if this is personal
Is your friend only late when he has to meet you? Consider whether it is chronic delay or a rudeness directed specifically at you. Adjust your relationship with him or her accordingly. It is less acceptable to scold someone for being late at your birthday party if they have been late at every birthday party they have been to.
Step 2. Let him know your underlying thinking
There is nothing wrong with telling your friend that if he is not there within a certain time, you will go without him or her. Which is perfectly reasonable, mature and non-threatening. If your friend really wants to participate in an activity with you, he must be sure he is on time.
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In some cases, after 20 minutes you have to leave. It sucks; it is a waste of time, but the point will have been made. The next time he asks you to do something, tell him you're not available. Be firm but rational - your time matters!
There is a great reason to let him come to you. If you can be comfortable, it's less of a problem
Step 3. Be concrete
Your time is important. When your friend is running late, it's a blatant indication of how he doesn't respect you. Tell him this! It cuts productivity, it's rude, and most of all it's completely useless. After the interview, ask him directly if he plans to be late next time. Did he hear you loud and clear?
There are ways to point out the things that are bothering you about your friends without hurting them. Keep your usual tone and use neutral words. Dot the "I's" and smile
Step 4. Give them a chance to tell you something that worries them about you
If you are angry because he delays every time, chances are you do something that bothers him. Be loyal and let him express his grievances. This could be the playing field and could help solve the problem.
Step 5. Don't blame him for a party or event
Never let the latecomer be responsible for carrying or carrying the theater tickets. An already irritating situation can take a turn for the worse when the friend with the birthday cake is late and does not answer the phone.
If he asks you to take responsibility, be frank! He needs to tune in if he wants an active part in the program
Step 6. Give them an incentive
If you have a group of friends hanging around all day, leaving someone out because they're always late isn't really an option, be smart. It comes up with something like, "late pays the bill." If the whole group agrees on this, it could be the incentive to make him change!
Advice
- Take the opportunity to grow. Maybe you've always been stressed about being on time. Note that this is probably not necessary. Being super laggard or super stressed is just as unpleasant.
- Move the hour forward. Okay, this is a prank. However, if you are on good terms with the person, you may want to try. And hey, you're probably doing him a favor.
- Set a good example. Don't lecture your friend about how much you hate being late, and show up late next time you go out for a drink. Instead, always be on time and earn his respect.
- Be gentle. People aren't usually late for a purpose. Chances are they have a problem and knowing it bothers you.
- See this as an opportunity to take it easy. Isn't there something nice about not having to run out of the house to meet someone? Consider the benefits of having a late friend - you can be late too. Grab a coffee, catch up on the news, send last-minute e-mails or take a few moments for yourself.
