It takes time to become a good friend of a person. You have to start by introducing yourself, then start getting to know her and over time create a deep relationship with her. Some people have very little difficulty making friends, while for others it is a challenge. However, there are many proven tips that can help you build friendships that last a lifetime.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Getting Familiar with Someone
Step 1. Introduce yourself to the person you want to be friends with
All friendships start from scratch and the first step is to introduce yourself. Find an opportunity to say hello and make your name known without sounding too pushy.
- You can do this in school. Introducing yourself becomes especially easy if you have a mutual friend with this person and you are all in a group together.
- If you're at a party, you can introduce yourself to someone so that you both have a person to talk to.
- Introduce yourself to the people you need to work with on a project or business.
Step 2. Ask questions
When you get the chance, take the time to ask your new acquaintance for information. This will show her that you care about getting to know her better.
- "Do you have brothers and sisters? How many?"
- "What do you like to do in your spare time?"
- "Which sport do you play?"
- "Do you like cooking?"
- "What are your hobbies?"
- "Have you always lived here?"
- "What's your favorite musical genre / group?"
- "Do you like reading? What is your favorite book?"
Step 3. Answer the questions about yourself
It is normal that after you ask someone questions, they ask you questions. Make sure you replicate thoroughly, without rushing, and give him the opportunity to get to know you.
- Friendship is a two-way street, so it's important that you both feel like you know each other well to build a good relationship.
- Don't dominate the conversation. When answering questions, try to spend as much time as the other person did so you don't talk too much.
Step 4. Avoid heavy arguments
If you're just getting to know someone, it's best to avoid controversial and personal topics of conversation.
- Keep the conversation light and cheerful by talking about the things you have in common or what you want to know about the other person.
- If the conversation gets too personal, change the subject. For example, you can say, "I don't feel comfortable talking about this now. Have you ever been to a concert?"
- End the conversation or change the subject if you start talking about a controversial topic. Try: "I understand that we both have different beliefs on this subject, but for now let's talk about something more fun."
Step 5. Don't rush to get to know the person you just met
Avoid bombarding her with dozens of questions. Even if you want to meet her, you shouldn't give her the impression that she is being interrogated.
- When you meet her on various occasions, such as at school or at the mall, take the opportunity to deepen her knowledge.
- It can take a few weeks or even a couple of months to get to know a person. This is not a process that can happen immediately or in a few hours.
Step 6. When you feel ready, exchange your contact information with her
If you feel like you know the other person well enough that you want to start a friendship with them, ask them to exchange contact information with you. Depending on the means of communication you prefer, provide them:
- Telephone number for calls and messages;
- Kik username to exchange messages without revealing your phone number;
- Email address;
- Profile on social media, such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
Part 2 of 3: Creating the Foundation of a Friendship
Step 1. Learn to be a friend
To become good friends with someone and get the same consideration, you have to behave in a certain way.
Reflect on your personality, identifying what your strengths and weaknesses are as a friend. Make it a goal to improve one of your weaknesses so that you can become a better friend. For example, in some cases you may forget to reply to your friends' messages, so you may want to commit to always replying at least within a couple of hours
Step 2. Be yourself with friends
You probably wouldn't like to discover that a friend's true personality is completely different from what you imagined it would be. Consequently, you should always be authentic when in the company of friends.
- Don't hide your weirdest habits. Maybe they have them too!
- Let your sense of humor shine through and make jokes that you find funny.
- Share hobbies and interests, even if they are considered "strange". Your friends might be interested!
Step 3. Accept your friend for who he is
It is important not to try to force him to become a different person. He is a unique individual and just as you want to be accepted as you are, the same is true for him.
Step 4. Invite him to spend time with you
There are tons of activities you can do with friends. Offer to go out with you to strengthen your relationship.
- Go to the cinema.
- Go to the arcade.
- Go shopping.
- Invite him to dinner at your house.
- Invite him to play at your house.
- Invite him to play video games or board games.
- Attend a football or basketball match.
Step 5. Remember special occasions for your friend and celebrate them
When it's his birthday, be sure to write him a note or even give him a small gift. He will also greatly appreciate your compliments when he excels at something, when he wins a competition, and when he is accepted into a group or program.
- Make sure you show genuine enthusiasm for your friend. He will likely be able to tell if you are not really happy for him and this can damage your friendship.
- If you've tried his same feat (for example, you've both tried a medical school test) but haven't been successful, don't be jealous of him. This type of attitude is unhealthy and does not allow the friendship to grow.
Step 6. Let your friend know that you are ready to support him
Friends help each other through tough times, so make sure he knows you'll be by his side when he needs you.
- Be ready in time of need. For example, if your friend is arguing with his brother or another person, be sure to help him overcome difficulties.
- Be reliable. Reliability is one of the cornerstones of a strong friendship relationship, so promise your friend that he will always be able to count on you and then follow the facts to the words.
Step 7. Be open and honest with him
No relationship built on secrets and lies can survive, so it's extremely important to be honest.
- When your friend asks you for an opinion on something, respond politely and honestly.
- Share your point of view in a courteous and friendly manner.
- If possible, avoid hiding secrets from your friend, especially about things that concern him.
Part 3 of 3: Strengthen a Good Friendship
Step 1. Show your friend that you value your relationship
You can do this in many different ways, making it clear that you are a good friend. Here are some examples of what you should try to do:
- Be reliable;
- Be honest;
- Be yourself;
- Support your friend;
- Include your friend in your plans;
- Celebrate his achievements;
- Help him when he needs it.
Step 2. If you can't make time for your friend, give him a valid reason
If he asks you out, but you already have other plans or commitments, let him know. Then, suggest another day when you are free.
Proposing another chance to see each other lets your friend know that you want to spend time with him and that you appreciate his company
Step 3. Make a commitment to resolve any problems that arise
Regardless of what you have in common, arguments and disagreements will likely arise in the future. Overcome these moments of difficulty together.
- Apologize when you have to do this. If you are wrong, it is important to take responsibility for your actions.
- Talk to your friend and come up with ideas for solving the problem instead of waiting for him to come forward.
Step 4. Consider the situation from your friend's point of view
Even if you are very similar people, you are not the same. In some cases, for the sake of your relationship, you may need to think about a problem or event from their perspective.
- Try to understand why the problem is bothering or irritating him. What makes him angry?
- Don't overlook problems that are of little consequence to you. Instead, try talking to them about it and finding solutions to fix them.
Step 5. Respect your friend's personal space
In some cases, he may prefer that you don't help him or get involved in all aspects of his life. It is important to respect this principle and give your friend the space they need.
- Even if you or him move, it is possible to maintain a good friendship. Stay in touch when you get the chance and show them that you respect their needs.
- Let him know that he can always count on you, even when he needs to get away from it a bit.
- Understand that you don't have to spend every moment together. You both have your own life, commitments and duties.
Step 6. Trust him
Trust is the basis of a good friendship. You can't expect him to trust you if you don't do the same to him.
- Always be honest and open with him so that he has no reason not to trust you.
- Talk about the problems you have and come up with a solution, so that the relationship of trust continues.
- Share your feelings and dreams with him. This tells him that you trust him, because you have decided to reveal personal information to him.
- Forgive your mistakes. Holding a grudge against another person is not good for your emotional health and does not allow the relationship to evolve into a strong friendship.
