It may have taken years or just a few days, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you have abandoned the one who abused you. You could just leave the house one day and never come back. Alternatively, you could plan in detail a lengthy process that allows you to completely leave home and take away everything that belongs to you. Whatever you do, just make sure you leave. Remember you don't deserve this.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Emotional Aspects
Step 1. Realize that the first few hours will be dangerous
You have abandoned the one who mistreated you, but this person represents so much more. Often those who behave violently towards us are people we have fond memories of. This could be a parent or a partner. Those who have abused us are often someone who has also taken care of us at times. The very first steps of detachment from the violent person will be very painful. You will find yourself in the midst of a contradictory and terrifying period. But don't stop. The fear will pass.
Step 2. Violence is still a taboo subject
People continue to blame the victim and make excuses for the reasons that lead one human being to beat another. At the end of the day, after everyone has issued their sentences and drawn their own conclusions, you have to find a way to live. You may have friends and family around who comfort you, but it will be difficult for them to understand. It is your battle and you will have to be stronger than anyone else.
Step 3. Most scars will heal
The bones will adjust and the swollen eye will deflate. You will be able to mingle with the rest of the world as if you have never been beaten. However, the scars will remain in your soul. As soon as you think you have completely gotten out of it, a shadow will slowly fall over your dreams. Do not be tormented by the one who has mistreated you. Defeat the violence and destroy the culprit.
Step 4. The first thing you should do if you have been mistreated is to accept the abuse as something that has happened
It is not your fault that someone in your life has not been able to manage their emotions and has had no control over their impulses. There is nothing to be ashamed of and you can go and continue to lead a productive life. But you have to recognize and accept violence as part of your experience.
Method 2 of 2: Actions
Step 1. Forget who you think it is
It is usually not the loss of a person that hurts you the most, but the loss of who you imagined or hoped it was. Often you get an idea of what your partner should be like and refuse to see the signs that would show you a different story than the way he truly considers you and his commitment to an open and selfless relationship. When the other person turns out to be different from what you expected, it can be a terrible experience. Those who are with an abusive person compartmentalize the trauma so that they can move on without the horrible memories of the mistreatment they have suffered prominently in their minds. They will think about the reason for the violence, lie to themselves and pretend that things are not that bad after all. As long as you cling to the image of how the other person should be, you will not be experiencing an authentic relationship with an altruistic subject but you will be feeding a dangerous fantasy created by your mind.
Step 2. Tell someone what happens to you
Break the silence so that others can help you with your situation. When others know what we are going through, we are encouraged to abandon the cycle of abuse. Often those who are violent will isolate their victims from family and friends. If you don't have family or friends, there are centers available to help you make the transition to the life you deserve. Contact the police and have them come to your home so you can pack your suitcase and collect your belongings. Sometimes it is also prudent to simply leave your belongings behind. Don't tell him you're leaving and don't give him the opportunity to dissuade you from leaving before the police arrive. He will promise you that he will get help or that he will treat you better. Don't be fooled by fake tears and promises made to control you. Get a protection order for you and your children through the legal system.
Step 3. Change your habits, mobile numbers and in severe cases you may want to consider changing your workplace
Don't tell mutual friends where you are. The best move is to be able to leave the city completely in certain situations. If children are involved you may want to seek legal advice as you cannot just run away with your children, unless you are prepared to face the abduction charge. The greater the distance between you and the abusive person, the better. If you stay with your current employer, be sure to inform them of the protection order so that the receptionist or security officer prevent the violent person from entering the building and recommend that they notify the police of the situation. For several weeks or as long as you feel threatened, always have a friend drive you to the car before you leave.
Step 4. Get to know yourself
Spend time reflecting and eliminate any thought of inadequacy, fear or any other element that keeps you anchored to the cycle of abuse. The violent person inside the house is sometimes the worst type of violent person. Be nice to yourself and become your best friend. Seek advice and support from others who have been through similar situations.
Step 5. Take some time before you start dating someone again
First of all, you really want to find out who you are and love that person before looking for another intimate relationship with someone. We cannot receive love from someone else if we do not yet have love for ourselves. Never give anyone the power to give you love and take it away from you. In any case, those who don't love you for who you really are don't deserve your attention. Surround yourself with a loving circle of generous friends. Focus on yourself in such a way that the next relationship is with a selfless individual who respects and loves you for the wonderful person you are.
