Adult separation anxiety disorder (DASA) can cause significant social and occupational problems; you can experience extreme discomfort, which compromises the quality of life as a whole and affects that of your loved ones. However, you can manage these emotions by overcoming negative thoughts and practicing techniques to manage the problem.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Getting to know the DASA
Step 1. Learn about the symptoms of the disorder
If you know or fear that you have this condition, it can help to know the symptoms. When you recognize them, you can begin to understand that your fears are caused by the disease, rather than by real problems. Talk to your doctor about DASA if you experience these symptoms:
- You are too "clingy" towards other people;
- You have difficulty leaving home or staying away from it;
- You suffer from extreme anxiety or discomfort when you are away from loved ones;
- You have panic attacks, crying and excessive mood swings;
- You refuse to be alone or without your loved one;
- You have excessive fears that your loved one might harm themselves;
- Manifest physical symptoms associated with any of the ailments described so far, such as headache, nausea and stomach pains.
Step 2. Join a support group
By joining it, you can interact with other people who are experiencing the same malaise as you; It can help to talk to other group members, learn about their experiences and how they have handled their discomfort.
Contact your doctor to find a support group in your area; will be able to indicate the most suitable reality for your specific case
Step 3. Consider seeing a counselor
This professional can help you work on your worries and anxieties; he can also offer you various techniques to put in place to calm you down when you feel agitated at the idea of being away from your loved one.
You can optionally ask your family doctor to recommend a therapist who specializes in treating DASA
Part 2 of 4: Away with Negative Thoughts
Step 1. Acknowledge them
When you are away from your loved one, take note of what negative thoughts, assumptions and opinions come to mind. Write them down on paper or share them with someone, such as a psychologist or a close friend. By knowing what kind of negative thoughts you can expect, you can handle them better.
Keeping a journal can help you get into the habit of jotting down any unhealthy ideas and emotions that may arise in your mind
Step 2. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones
Once identified, you need to replace them with positive opinions or otherwise disprove your beliefs. By controlling them and replacing them with other positive thoughts, you can be able to relax.
- For example, if your loved one leaves the house and you think, "I may never see him again", replace this idea with a positive one like, "I'll see him again when he gets home from work; we'll have dinner together and watch a movie."
- Cognitive-behavioral therapy is a useful technique for managing depression and / or anxiety problems and can help you with this process. Ask your family doctor or psychologist for more details about this type of treatment.
Step 3. Distract yourself from negative thoughts
When you start to feel anxious and adverse feelings come to mind, you can only feel even more agitated. Here's how you can distract yourself to push them away:
- Engage in an activity, such as a hobby you enjoy
- Focus on getting a job or some household chore done;
- Go for a walk or some physical activity
- Go to a place you like, like a museum or go to the cinema.
Part 3 of 4: Try Anxiety Management Techniques to Relax
Step 1. Practice breathing techniques to relax
Proper breathing can be a great way to calm yourself down when you're feeling anxious. Deep breathing is known for its ability to relieve stress; when you notice that you are starting to feel agitated, you can proceed as follows:
- Inhale slowly through the nose for five seconds;
- Focus attention on the movement of the air during the breath and on the sensation it transmits;
- Place a hand on your chest and feel it lift as you breathe.
Step 2. Try to meditate
As with deep breathing, meditation is another technique that helps you calm down by focusing on your breath and clearing your mind.
- Sit in a position where you feel comfortable; if you decide to get on the floor, use a pillow or mat to make the practice more comfortable;
- Start with some breathing exercises;
- Focus your attention on the breath; gently bring your thoughts back to breathing whenever they drift away and get distracted;
- Do not judge any thought that comes to the mind, but at the same time do not hold it back too long;
- Meditate for at least five minutes a day. As you become familiar with this practice, you can increase its duration.
Step 3. Use visualization techniques to relax
If you see an image that you find pleasant, you can reduce your anxiety. Eliminate any distractions, such as your television, computer, etc., and try the following technique when you feel anxious because you are away from your loved one:
- To begin, take a few minutes to practice breathing and meditation;
- Close your eyes and start imagining yourself in a quiet and relaxing place; for example, try visualizing yourself in a sunny grassy meadow, with birds singing;
- Use your imagination to explore the area you are "seeing"; for example, which birds do you see? Do you smell the flowers? How do you feel when you hold the blades of grass between your fingers?
- When you feel relaxed and ready, open your eyes.
Part 4 of 4: Try Exposure Therapy
Step 1. Talk to a psychologist about exposure therapy
It is a technique that consists in exposing the patient to the factors that scare him the most, while remaining in a safe and secure environment; in the case of DASA, separation fears are addressed. To practice therapy, you need to expose yourself very gradually and for short periods to situations that cause you anxiety, such as being away from home or a loved one.
An appropriately trained psychologist or therapist can develop a personalized exposure program that can help you overcome anxiety
Step 2. Undergo therapy
If your doctor determines that this is right for you and you feel ready to try it, there are several techniques you can use. For example, you can simply start thinking about separating from your loved one or being away from home and discussing your feelings with your doctor. Afterwards, you can really walk away from home or family for longer and longer periods and always discuss emotions with the psychologist.
Even short-term treatments (three or six sessions) can be helpful in managing your negative emotions
Step 3. Ask your loved one to help you when you undergo this therapy
If the psychologist agrees, the involvement of the other person can allow you to better manage the therapeutic process. At first, ask your loved one to go to another room, while you practice relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or are working hard to ward off anxious thoughts.
