You probably hear about love every day, but defining what it means isn't easy. Love means different things from person to person and it can take many forms depending on the circumstances. If you are trying to understand what your heart feels, start to distinguish the various forms of love, such as the romantic one and the more affectionate one that characterizes the bonds of friendship. Then, determine which type the feeling you are experiencing belongs to. Once you understand this, you can tell if you are in love with someone.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Distinguishing the Forms of Love
Step 1. Recognize the trepidation that comes from romantic love
This form of love makes you feel the so-called "butterflies in the stomach". Ask yourself if you have a deep desire for the other person and if you feel an exclusive understanding between you. Notice if you feel physical attraction, as well as the need to be close to her. It could be romantic love.
Typically, this description matches what you mean when you say, "I'm in love with you."
Warning:
it's easy to confuse romantic love with passion. If you only feel physical attraction, but don't feel any romantic bonding, it might just be sexual desire.
Step 2. Recognize love-friendship in relationships based on trust, closeness and goodwill
You probably have something special about a friend that can be defined as love to the extent that you feel happy and comfortable in their company. Ask yourself if you can tell him all your secrets and if you want the best for him. These are signs that you love him.
- Usually, this kind of love is what you mean when you say, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." You genuinely care about the other person and want them to have the best in life, but don't feel romantic love for them.
- You may feel romantic love and friendship towards one person at the same time. This happens when you consider your partner your best friend as well.
Step 3. Recognize family love as a feeling that binds family members
Families often have a strong bond that is based on mutual affection. There has to be a special connection between you and your closest relatives, but also a desire to be with them. You may also feel compelled to protect or care for them. This is family love.
Family love isn't just about people with blood ties. The family you feel you belong to is made up of the people who are always present and important in your life
Step 4. Feel the comfort and happiness that come from loving a pet
Your furry friend can become a member of your family, but the love you feel towards him is slightly different. You are probably happy and relaxed when you are together and you hardly feel alone with such a sweet partner! Often the bond between owners and pets is very strong and brings immense joy to both. If you have this luck, it means that you love your four-legged friend.
Love for pets can actually relieve stress
Step 5. Consider the passion with which you pursue your interests
You probably love painting or listening to music every day. Understand that interests can develop a sense of attachment or gratification comparable to a form of love. However, it doesn't equal the involvement you feel for the special people in your life.
This is a very fleeting "love" because interests can change over the course of a lifetime
Part 2 of 3: Understanding What Meaning to Give to Love
Step 1. Write down what you hope to receive from your partner
Think about your ideal relationship and the characteristics that those around you should have, then describe your ideal life partner. This way, you will be able to understand what you expect from love and know what it means to you.
- Maybe you want a partner who compliments you every day, remembers important dates, enjoys cuddling on the sofa, and is a creative person.
- It is impossible to find the ideal partner because no one is perfect. However, this exercise can help you understand what you are looking for.
Step 2. Decide what kind of relationship you want to have with friends and family
Ask yourself what you value about your family and friends, but also how you enjoy spending time with them. So, consider the things you seem to miss to see if there is anything you would like to change in these relationships. Discuss with family and friends how you would like to set up your relationship with them so that you can find common ground.
- Maybe you want a close relationship with your brother, where you can talk about anything. Tell him how you think.
- Similarly, you may think that close friends should confide in each other and avoid dating each other's exes out of respect. Invite them to discuss this topic to see if you can improve your relationships.
Step 3. Prioritize the people you love
Connect with the people you love every day or week, depending on relationships. Also, spend time with them and update them on your life. This way, you will build solid relationships with your family, friends and partner.
- For example, make it a habit to send loving text messages and memes to the people you care about.
- Likewise, spend time with them, perhaps going for coffee with a friend, shopping with your mom, or watching a movie with your partner.
Step 4. Find a way to express your love
By externalizing your feelings, you can get a clearer idea of love. Examine how you feel and communicate it to the people you love. Here are some ways to express love:
- Tell friends and family what you feel
- Write a love poem for someone;
- Write a love song;
- Give small gifts to the people you love;
- Send loving memes to friends
- Write a love letter.
Step 5. Choose to have a loving relationship with someone
You may believe that love is just a feeling, but it is also a choice. When you decide to love someone, you choose to commit to them every day. When you're ready, make the choice to start an exclusive relationship.
On the other hand, you can also choose not to commit. It happens when the relationship doesn't work out or the other person doesn't treat you well. What you feel probably won't go away suddenly, but you'll have to wait a bit. With the passage of time you will realize it
Step 6. Identify your language of love
The language of love is the way you want to be loved and express what you feel. Consider what makes you feel loved and how you tend to express the love you feel for someone. Then, choose which of the following languages is best suited to your needs:
- Affirmation Words: You want your partner to tell you he loves you;
- Physical contact: You desire physical intimacy, such as cuddling, kissing and caressing;
- Acts of service: show love with important and useful gestures in the life of a couple (sharing housework);
- Receiving gifts: you feel loved when your partner gives you something;
- Quality time: You want your partner to be with you.
Advise:
at the beginning of a love relationship it is important to understand the respective languages of love. It is normal for you to have a different language than your partner's, but both of you should learn about your inclinations.
Part 3 of 3: Recognizing When You Are In Love
Step 1. Notice if you feel homesick
If you are in love with someone, you probably miss him every time you are apart. You may also miss him when he is only absent for a short time. Ask yourself if you want to be with her every moment. It is probably a sign that you are in love.
- For example, you may think you miss her even though she just left.
- Similarly, you could grab a pillow and start squeezing it imagining that you are hugging the person you love.
Step 2. Ask yourself if you feel happier in his presence
When you are in love with someone, you enjoy being with them. You probably get the impression that everything is more beautiful when you are together. Ask yourself if life seems better to you when you are together. This could mean that you are in love with it.
You may also feel these emotions towards a friend or relative. However, they are stronger when you are in love
Step 3. Notice if you get excited when you think about the other person
Passion translates into the need for physical contact or proximity to the object of desire. Ask yourself if you feel the need to kiss, hold hands, or intimately touch your partner. It could be a sign that you are in love.
Passion can also result in the simple satisfaction of sexual desire. To make sure it is accompanied by love, notice if you are showing other signs as well, such as feeling happy when you are together
Step 4. Ask yourself if you can trust the other person
You need to be able to trust her and feel safe. For her part, she should listen to you and support you when you tell her something. Also, you need to be sure that he is not lying to you and that he is able to make decisions for the sake of your relationship, such as not to cheat on you.
- You and your partner should trust each other. In other words, you should prove yourself trustworthy, listen to him and support him, while on his side, he should be sure that you are making the right decisions.
- If you are hesitant to trust the other person, you may not be ready to start a relationship. You may love her, but you are unable to let yourself go completely. It's not a problem! Follow your instinct.
Step 5. Ask yourself if the love you feel includes commitment
The desire to start an exclusive relationship with someone is a clear symptom of falling in love. It means that, in addition to passion and desire, you feel a deep emotional understanding with the other person. Ask yourself if you are ready for a serious relationship, because it could mean that you are in love.
If you feel busy, you probably imagine a future with the other person and don't feel attracted to anyone else
Step 6. Follow your dream only if the feeling is mutual
You may fall in love with someone who doesn't feel the same about you. It is very disheartening and painful, but in these cases, you may want to let it go. Everyone has the right to hear and express their feelings, so don't insist. Rather, try to forget the other person by confiding in a friend, processing the pain, and moving on with your life.
- Don't wait for him to change his mind and start loving you. Remember that someone is somewhere waiting to be found.
- If you insist even when the other person does not reciprocate your feelings, there is a risk that it will become an obsession. It is bad for both of us. So, respect her choices and look for love elsewhere.
Advice
- Loving is not just about taking care of the other person, but about finding a balance between your happiness and that of your partner so that life is better for both of you.
- Love enters people's hearts, but it may also leave it, so your feelings can change as well as your partner's.
