There's a good reason why you should believe that people who cultivate a sense of gratitude tend to be healthier and happier than those who don't. Grateful people appreciate what they have instead of being obsessed with what they lack. They express gratitude to other people and for this reason they often receive more in return than others. Grateful people experience each new day as one more opportunity to achieve happiness rather than just another challenge to be faced. It may be that by their nature some people are spontaneously more grateful than others, but it is wrong to assume that it is not possible to cultivate a greater sense of gratitude in the course of one's life. It might not be easy, but it's worth the effort.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Being Grateful in the Now Moment
Step 1. Take a minute to feel grateful for your life
Sometimes the right way to get back on track and find peace of mind is to take a break. You need to recognize what are the things you can feel grateful for, and in some cases the break itself is a great reason to be.
- At work, school, etc., go for a walk around the building or just breathe some fresh air outside for 15 minutes. In the meantime, reflect and feel grateful that you have the opportunity to take a break, stretch your muscles, feel the warmth of the sunlight, and so on.
- Take a moment to notice the little things you can be grateful for. It can be the morning cup of coffee or the pillow you rest your head on when you go to rest.
Step 2. Thank the people who care about you
Very often the daily to-do list makes us forget to tell our loved ones how important they are to us or that we have noticed and appreciate the many things they do for us. Expressing your gratitude allows you to foster an atmosphere of gratitude that will gradually develop.
For example, if your husband made you lunch to take to work, call or text him thanking him. You could use these words: "Honey, I know you might consider it a small thing, but I really appreciate how you try to simplify my days."
Step 3. Discuss the topic in the family
Pick a time of day, such as dinner, to talk about the things you felt grateful for during the day. Let each family member take turns expressing their gratitude for the events of the past day.
- Make it a habit to sit down at the table and mention at least one thing you are grateful for before you start eating.
- You should try to be as specific as possible. For example, instead of saying "I am grateful for your presence tonight", you could say "I am grateful that you helped me clean up the garden over the past weekends."
Step 4. Send thank you cards
It is surprising to find what effect a few words of gratitude can have. A thank you note tells the person who receives it that you appreciated the gesture they made towards you by giving you something (time, effort, a gift, etc.) without being obligated to. It is not necessary to dwell on it, just write a few lines to explain that that act meant a lot to you.
- You can also send a message or an email, but receiving a handwritten card is particularly special.
- You can also thank someone with a simple post-it note, a note or maybe you can buy a card and an envelope at the stationery.
Step 5. Make your resources available to express gratitude
Being grateful goes beyond thanking those who have offered you their help; it means doing the same for loved ones and the community. The purpose is not to be equal with others and to have no debt, but to work to make other people's lives better because it is the right thing to do. You will find that your life will improve as if by magic.
- Offer your support directly to the people you know. For example, you could help a friend move or accompany an elderly family member to a doctor or go shopping.
- Make your resources available even for those people you don't know yet. For example, you could carry on the efforts made by your school tutor (while acknowledging the work done) by acting as a guide for other people.
Step 6. Focus on the good intentions underlying the acts of kindness towards you
When someone makes a polite gesture towards you, such as giving you a gift, preparing dinner for you or offering to read and correct your thesis; focus your attention on making your life more enjoyable. That person offered you their precious time, money, or whatever just to please you.
This attitude fosters an atmosphere of gratitude which is then transmitted to other people through your gestures and words, especially if you have young children
Step 7. Make sure you say "thank you" regularly
Thank the barista who made you coffee, the person standing in front of you and holding the door open, or the customer service agent who found out what the problem was with your phone. Saying thank you openly to others helps to fix the sense of gratitude in your life.
- Use the word "thank you" as a kind of mantra or prayer. You can say it for specific things or just repeat it in your mind. For example, you could say thank you for breakfast this morning, for the rain that watered the trees, or for the raincoat that protected you during the storm, and so on.
- By cultivating a sense of gratitude (and manifesting it openly), you can do wonders, such as dulling anger, anxiety, depression, and other health problems.
- When you say thank you to someone, make eye contact and smile so they can sense that you are sincere.
Step 8. Find new reasons to be grateful, even in difficult times
When things go wrong, feeling gratitude towards life seems really complicated. However, there are times when feeding her is even more important than usual, because it can help you overcome obstacles, unlike feelings like anger or sadness.
- To cultivate gratitude when life confronts you with a difficulty, such as a job you don't like, make a list of the positives about it. For example, consider that your job allows you to shop and pay rent or that getting up early in the morning gives you a chance to see the sun rise and so on.
- If you are going through a difficult time due to the breakdown of a relationship or the death of a loved one, give yourself the time you need to process what happened and agree to feel sad. Being grateful doesn't mean never feeling emotions like sadness or anger again, but simply making them more manageable. After giving yourself time to process the loss, make a list of the things you have learned and can be grateful for about your relationship with that person. If your relationship broke up, think about what the positive aspects of that end are.
Part 2 of 3: Facing Life with Gratitude
Step 1. Start a gratitude journal
Write down the reasons you feel grateful each day to keep them in your memory. No matter how difficult your life is right now, there is always something to be grateful for. Recognizing what it is will help you deal with complicated situations.
- Write five things each day that you feel grateful for. They can be ordinary facts such as "sunrise" or special events such as "having received a marriage proposal from the person I love".
- Spend some time each day reflecting on the things you are deeply grateful for. You may find that you can list even more than five.
- There are apps to manage your gratitude diary on your mobile, download one to receive a daily reminder to help you not forget to fill it in.
Step 2. Reread your diary when you feel the need
At the end of a particularly busy day, it might be good for you to reread what you wrote previously. Even when everything seems to be falling apart, strive to find little things to feel grateful for.
For example, even if you have a terminal illness, you can be grateful for things like having someone bring you dinner, a warm bed, or your cat snuggled by your side. All of these aspects can make the trauma of the disease more bearable
Step 3. Get help from a friend or family member
Talk to him about your goal of cultivating a greater sense of gratitude. Choose a loved one with whom you feel free to speak openly without feeling judged, and ask them to point you out when you complain about the circumstances and to help you find the right spirit.
If possible, choose someone who shares the same goal as you to help each other cultivate a greater sense of gratitude
Step 4. Change the way you view difficulties
People who know how to feel gratitude don't have a simpler life than yours. Often the opposite is true, the most grateful people in the past have faced numerous difficulties. What they understand is that the problem is not the circumstances, but the way you look at them that makes them more or less complicated.
For example, if you have to work to pay for your studies, try to view it as an obligation that is teaching you to be responsible rather than a nuisance that takes away your free time
Step 5. Describe your life in positive terms
By using negative, derogatory language, you can make circumstances seem more difficult and have a hard time feeling gratitude. For example, using the label "my horrible disease" creates a more severe perception than simply calling it "the disease I have". In the second case, you are avoiding making it a part of you by simply using neutral rather than negative language.
Include the sense of gratitude in the words you use to describe your life. For example, you might say, "Even though I have this disease, I am grateful that I am receiving great care and that I can count on the support of my family."
Step 6. Be positive about yourself and others
By giving on anyone you will lose the ability to feel gratitude. When you notice that you have negative thoughts about yourself or another person, stop the flow and reverse gear. For example, if you thought, "I'm really a dunce in math", change your attitude to "I'm having a hard time with this math problem."
A simple change of attitude can be enough to help you perceive obstacles in a different way. In the second case, you will not be led to think that the problem is you. By rephrasing your thoughts you can create a distinction between the problem and yourself. If the problem is not you, it means that it is related to an external circumstance and you can solve it
Part 3 of 3: Taking Care of Your Physical and Mental Health to Cultivate a Sense of Gratitude
Step 1. Eat healthy
To be happy and grateful, it is essential to provide the body with foods that help keep it healthy and also promote a good mood. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables every day, including kale, peppers, and bananas. Learn to select healthy carbohydrates, such as whole grains, pasta and bread, and accompany them with the noble proteins (of animal origin) that you can find in lean meats, eggs and fish such as salmon. Vegetable proteins are also important, seeds and nuts are rich in them.
- Moderation and variety are two cornerstones of a healthy diet. It is not good to eat only fruits and vegetables, the human body also needs carbohydrates and proteins.
- Avoid refined sugars and processed foods that are high in sodium.
Step 2. Drink lots of water every day to keep yourself hydrated
Water is an indispensable element for the health of all the organs of the body and also for that of the mind. If you want your brain to think well, you need to drink lots of water every day. Sip it frequently from morning to night so you don't feel thirsty.
Feel grateful whenever you have the opportunity to turn on the tap or a bottle and drink some good, clean, fresh water. Keep in mind that millions (or perhaps billions) of people around the world cannot enjoy this luxury
Step 3. Don't overlook the importance of good sleep
Sleeping well is essential to live healthy and be happy. When you feel good, practicing gratitude automatically becomes easier. While it is admirable to be grateful even when daily commitments make you anxious and prevent you from sleeping well, finding ways to provide your body and mind with the right amount of sleep and rest will help you cultivate a sense of gratitude more easily.
Try to go to bed and get up at regular times, create a relaxing and pleasant atmosphere in your bedroom, stop using electronic devices an hour before bedtime, and create a routine of evening activities that will help you calm the mind
Step 4. Exercise regularly
When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins that promote good mood and help you feel better mentally and physically. The resulting feeling of well-being is both a reason to express gratitude and a stimulus to cultivate it.
Try to exercise at least 30 minutes a day. You don't have to join the gym, you can go for a run in the park, dance to the beat in your room or take an online yoga class
Step 5. Meditate regularly
Meditation is another useful tool for dealing with mental health problems or feelings of inner discomfort. It also promotes a sense of gratitude and helps you put it into practice.
Choose a quiet place where you can meditate at least a quarter of an hour a day. Sit down and take a comfortable position, then start taking slow, deep breaths. When thoughts come to your mind demanding attention, observe them without judging them and then let them go as you exhale
Step 6. Practice mindfulness
By keeping your focus on the present moment, you have the option of restraining the mind that normally tends to run forward, worrying and planning for the future, or mulling over the past. It is a good way to practice mindfulness because it leads you to immerse yourself in the present moment and honor the now.
- Practice mindfulness when at the dinner table. Focus all your attention on what you are eating. Observe and examine the food before putting it in your mouth and then as you chew it. Ask yourself questions: "Is it hot or cold?", "What texture does it have?", "Is it sweet, sour or salty?".
- Stay focused and aware even while taking a walk or just sitting outside. Note the colors of the sky and the shape of the clouds. Use your nose to locate odors and listen to the rustle of the wind in the trees.
Advice
- Remember that it is normal to have to face difficulties from time to time. Some days you will feel irritable and feel an aversion to anything, but that's okay. Don't blame yourself for not constantly floating in a sea of gratitude. That may be the goal, but so far no one has ever achieved it.
- Just because you learn to be grateful does not mean that you will never face difficulties again or that you will not be affected by them. What will happen is that you will be able to get through the hard times more easily and they will no longer be a threat to your mental health.
- You can't have full control over everything that happens, but you can learn to control how you react to situations.
- By thanking people for the kind little gestures they make towards you (at least once in a while) you can make them feel appreciated. Your expression of gratitude can turn their day into a positive one and will most likely make you feel better too.
