Puzzles are difficult to understand by definition. If you want to surround yourself with an aura of mystery, but still maintain characteristics like charm and magnetism, find out which parts of your personality to keep to yourself and which ones to highlight. In this way your words, your behavior and your personality will be intriguing and impenetrable.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Expressing yourself in an enigmatic way
Step 1. Speak only when you have something to say
If you want to have a mysterious and enigmatic presence, surround yourself with an aura of mystery. Learn to restrain yourself to avoid sharing all your thoughts: you don't have to give the impression that you are doing it because you are shy and calm, but because you are comfortable enough with yourself that you don't feel the need to always involve others. Speak when you know it's essential, but don't feel the need to have your say whenever you can.
Culturally speaking, people who speak fast are often seen as bright and witty, but during a conversation, pauses have a power of their own. Give space to moments of reflection and silence in the dialogues, let them assimilate what has been said. Your words and your presence will thus take on a certain value. Sometimes others remember silences more than words
Step 2. Be the devil's advocate
Enigmatic people are often unpredictable: they suddenly voice a different opinion than one would expect of them. Don't follow the crowd. Instead, consider new perspectives and try to think creatively about each topic. Don't nod to avoid conflict: ask questions.
- If three people have already discussed a solution to a given problem extensively in a meeting, play devil's advocate, even if you think they are basically right. Alternatively, remain silent. It doesn't make much sense to repeat what has already been said, ending up becoming a voice that gets lost in the crowd.
- Ask lots of questions to make sure your decisions are as wise as possible. Clarify, specify and sift through all ideas to fully understand each issue.
Step 3. Lead conversations to take a serious turn
Petty conversations are mundane by nature. We talk about the weather, the hassle at work, children, traffic and the cost of living. The enigmatic prefer to establish deep personal dialogues. Learn to cultivate conversational skills that stimulate creative exchanges. When talking to someone, try to give your interaction some depth.
If you are at a party, surrounded by flat people who don't offer interesting conversation points, try to find someone who is willing to strike up a different dialogue and join in. Lead the conversation with an unusual question or a sobering answer. If someone accidentally says he liked a movie, don't nod, ask him: "Why?"
Step 4. Use unusual conversational phrases and phrases
Put your creativity on the line: make statements that intrigue others, that stand out, without getting lost in a sea of words. If someone asks you how you are and you answer "It's not bad", you risk being forgotten in an instant. Instead, you might say, "I feel like a mouse playing with a cat." If someone asks you how a game went, don't answer "Terrible"; you might say, "We were thrown to the beasts." You will certainly not go unnoticed.
Step 5. Enrich your vocabulary
Take a few minutes each day to learn new words and incorporate them into your conversations. Using precise and accurate vocabulary in daily interactions will help you stand out among people who now use the banal and broken language of texting.
Part 2 of 3: Taking the Distances
Step 1. Share less information about your account
Social networks have changed the way of living relationships, they have eliminated a good part of the mystery and exposed users. Sometimes it can be difficult to change what others think of you: they have already received too much information about your current identity, at least what you convey to the outside. Don't get involved in virtual or personal conversations. Instead, pay close attention to what you tell acquaintances and strangers about yourself, but be more generous to those around you.
- Excluding the people with whom you have a close relationship, it is useless to tell everyone where you are at any moment of the day, what your interests and tastes are in general. If someone asks you where you are going, avoid the question by saying, "See you later."
- Remove information about where you live and all updates from your social network profiles, such as Twitter and Facebook. No one online is required to know where you come from or where you live. Delete as much personal information from your accounts as possible.
Step 2. Choose your friends wisely
Some people are open and confident, seeking affection and acceptance almost instantly. On the other hand, the enigmatic are characterized by a certain discretion and go with lead feet before putting their trust in someone. Trust and respect must be earned with time and experience, they must not be taken for granted. Others should prove themselves worthy to join your personal circle.
- Instead of hanging out with large groups, spend time one-on-one with others. The enigmatic traits are more difficult to grasp in the presence of many people. Get to know others for who they are, not for what they pretend to be in public settings.
- If you want to be enigmatic, you also need to understand when to let others into your private sphere. Enigmatics are not hermits - they have people in their lives they trust and can rely on. The fact is that they have fewer friends than the current cultural canons.
Step 3. Stay calm under pressure
Enigmatic people know how to control their emotions, so that the facade presented to the world appears composed, calm and imperturbable. This does not correspond to a lack of passion or emotion, but it does mean that you have the ability to control your feelings. Be impassive for better or for worse.
The enigmatic must not be martyrs. If you have chronic physical or emotional pain, see a doctor. Try to be healthy and you won't have to worry about hiding the pain. Take care of your body so you can be strong in any situation
Step 4. Live in the present
Where does an enigmatic person come from? It is not known well. Where does an enigmatic person go? Everywhere. Don't linger in the past and don't dwell too much on future dreams. Instead, focus on living in the moment, being fully present here and now. Be spontaneous and willing to adapt to situations: this too will help you become enigmatic, on the other hand life itself is.
If you are sad about a romantic breakup, a loss in your family, or some other failure, discuss it in confidence with a close friend, then move on. You don't have to talk about it at work
Part 3 of 3: Having a Strong Personality
Step 1. Train your mind
Testing your intellect will always keep you active and informed, so you will be more interesting and enigmatic in the eyes of others. Don't spend hours just playing video games, books, online chat, or writing poetry. Engage in varied intellectual pursuits and surprise the world with your brain.
Step 2. Be gentle and reassuring
Enigmatics may seem mysterious, but they are not mean or disrespectful. In fact, your presence should be reassuring: if you behave in the right way, others will understand that you do not tend to gossip or abandon your friends for a trifle.
- Listen to others. Train your active listening skills, really focus on what you are being told. Often he just waits his turn to speak. Instead, get deeply involved in conversations. You will be surprised to find that for many this behavior is quite unusual.
- Learn the names of others and try to remember what they tell you. Enigmatics can seem aloof, so when you remember an acquaintance's birthday or the details of a story he told you long ago, you will surprise him.
Step 3. Cultivate unusual interests and hobbies
Let your innate eccentricity emerge by dedicating yourself to an unusual passion that is sure to intrigue others. The unique features of this activity should give you genuine pleasure, so don't choose one just because it's trendy.
Start collecting rare coins or crystals. You can also start hiking in the woods every weekend looking for mushrooms. Take photographs. Learn Latin. Look for a passion and cultivate it
Step 4. Learn to do several things
wikiHow is the place for enigmatic wannabes. Can you sew? Can you change the car oil? Can you tune a mandolin? Can you lay vinyl flooring? Can you cook exotic dishes or prepare special cocktails? If you have strange and interesting connections, you will be competent and surprising when others find out. Surprise them with your skills.
- Learn a card trick and don't show it to anyone: maybe during a party someone will bring up the topic. When you suddenly demonstrate what you can do, you will blow everyone away.
- If you are a teenager, look for a part-time job. Discovering a professional field can help you develop skills generally attributed to adults and you will have a real world experience. This can make you stand out among your peers.
Step 5. Challenge authority
The enigmatic are the voice of reason in an otherwise chaotic world. They are known for their unflappable temperament and ideas calculated down to the smallest detail. This sometimes comes into conflict with the dominant schools of thought within society. The enigmatic are as rebellious as the characters who made history, they are superheroes like Batman. They don't ask for permission to do what they want, they rely on their abilities to venture out into the world and find their own path. Think of characters like Sherlock Holmes, Clint Eastwood, and Julia Child.
Look for enigmatic people around you. Bob Dylan and Miles Davis may be enigmatic characters according to Wikipedia, but you can find other interesting individuals in your town's libraries, shops, bars, and street musicians. Inspired by the magnetic and imperturbable subjects that surround you, don't just look for them on television or in newspapers. Search for other role models
Advice
- If one of the reasons you want to get enigmatic is to be more successful with the opposite sex, that's not enough. Work on your charm, your interest in others, and your physical appearance.
- Russell Brand is an exception to the rule: he manages to have a euphoric and enthusiastic demeanor while still being intelligent and enigmatic.
- Don't confuse being a puzzle to others with being a puzzle to yourself. Knowing you is essential to live well, you have to work on it all your life in order to discover yourself. Do not neglect this aspect, because it is necessary to take care of yourself: read a lot, write your thoughts in a diary, show yourself open to new experiences, test your fears and misunderstandings, always be willing to learn.
Warnings
- Don't try to be different. Never forget who you really are.
- Always communicate and behave with peaceful intentions. Violence demonstrates a loss of control, which never happens to enigmatic people.
- Don't break the law or else you will face bad consequences. It is never advisable.
