Determination is a learned quality! Getting it is possible: you need to set goals and have the will to work hard. Practice trusting yourself and thinking flexibly, and learn to see obstacles and failures as learning opportunities. Read on to know how to get started!
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Change your way of thinking
Step 1. Determine what success is for you
Determination does not come out of nowhere. It comes from the strength of character you build to be successful the way you want to be successful. Remember that the idea of success can vary surprisingly, depending on the person.
- Start with what is most important to you. Determine what exactly it means to be successful. Is it about getting a degree in psychology and becoming a child psychologist? Or get married and have ten children?
- Ask yourself questions. For example: what do you daydream about? How do you want people to see you? What influence would you like to have on the world? What would you like to leave behind (problems, qualities, people, etc.)? Questions like these will help you understand more clearly what success means to you and what will help you gain determination.
- Consider what would make you happy, not what would make your parents, friends, or society happy. If happiness for you is having a llama farm in the middle of nowhere, then start thinking about how to make that reality happen.
Step 2. Understand what your kind of determination is
There are different types of determination, which people use at different times. There are more and less useful, and some types can be combined with others.
- Determination against adversity is all about achieving a difficult goal despite the great and numerous obstacles that come your way. An example could be a student who enrolls in more courses than others in order to graduate first, while retaining a job at the same time. This kind of determination works its way through obstacles, but it can prove extremely exhausting, and cannot be sustained for long periods of time.
- Targeted determination, on the other hand, is what makes you postpone short-term gratification in favor of achieving long-term goals. This kind of determination acts instead of reacting, so that you make things happen by self-discipline and understanding what it is you want. An example of this kind of determination might be someone who is saving money to go on a long journey. Instead of going out for dinner (short-term gratification), save for travel (achieving long-term goals).
- Both of these types of determination are fine, each in their own way, and should be used in conjunction with each other. There are times when you will need to employ determination against adversity instead of purposeful determination, due to the immediate presence of an obstacle you need to overcome.
Step 3. Set personal goals
Once you understand what success means to you, you need to find goals to help you achieve it. The best thing is to have a combination of big and small goals, so that you consistently reach goals, which will keep your resolve alive.
- This will also help you reach your goals step by step. If you focus too much on the big picture (the big goal or the achievement of success), you will likely start to feel overwhelmed, which will make your resolve more difficult to maintain.
- For example: if for you success equates to publishing a novel, your goals will include writing the novel itself, correcting it, learning how publishing works, figuring out which literary agents to send it to, writing a synopsis and cover letter, and sending it to several agents and publishers.
Step 4. Develop specific strategies
Once you have established what goals you want to achieve, it is time to develop specific ways in which to achieve them. The more specific your plans and strategies are, the easier it will be for you to be determined when you have the right means to keep yourself motivated.
- Establish a roadmap for your goals. To keep you on track, mark the calendar. Make a list of your "big" long-term goals and smaller short-term ones, which will help you reach the big ones.
- Maintain your flexibility with your goals and schedule. Don't blame yourself if, in the end, it takes you longer than expected to complete something or if you decide that a goal you set for yourself isn't all that important.
- Make a plan to resist temptation. A lot of things will happen that will make you want to give up or take a break. Make a plan to resist temptation so you don't give in to instant gratification. For example: The person planning the long trip might keep a travel memo with them so that when tempted to eat out, they remember what they are saving for. Additionally, they may plan their meals so they don't have to find themselves in a situation where it's simply easier to eat out.
Step 5. Set clear boundaries
Even if you are determined, achieving a goal is difficult if you don't have a clear idea of what you are accomplishing and what lies outside those boundaries. This does not mean limiting yourself, because setting boundaries that are too narrow will not help you, but being clear about your limits will allow you to reach your goals much more easily.
For example: instead of saying "I'll work on the novel every day," set specific times. Think: "I'll write every morning from 6:00 to 8:00". In this case the limits are not vague: you have established specific parameters, which are easier to follow
Step 6. Leverage your strengths
Often, when you receive opinions or strive to improve yourself, you focus on the aspects you need to perfect. Don't ignore them, but understand your strengths and use them to help you succeed by using your determination to achieve your goals.
- Get your friends, colleagues, family and teachers to tell you which occasions you have stood out (ie when you have exploited your strengths). Find commonalities in the examples they give you, and get an idea of what your best qualities are.
- For example: If people choose examples of occasions where you have been incredibly honest, worked very hard, or found creative solutions to problems, use these qualities to build an image of yourself based on these strengths.
Part 2 of 3: Develop Good Habits
Step 1. Practice flexibility
An important habit to learn and cultivate is flexibility. This doesn't mean bending your body like a donut, but being able to face life when it plays a trick on you. When you are too busy doing exactly what you think should happen, you forget to pay attention to unexpected opportunities.
- Check your goals and strategies. Don't assume that something that seemed important to you when you were 24 will still be important when you are 34. People change and grow, and you need to make sure your priorities and goals change accordingly. Don't keep doing something just because you think you have to. If you don't need it to succeed, discard it.
- Try something new. Getting out of your safe zone helps keep you flexible and prepares you for the unexpected. It's also a great way to practice your resolve. For example: if you've never really experienced the outdoors, you might try hiking, starting with something simple and climbing an entire mountain, or taking a night hike.
- Change your regular routine. This is necessary to avoid that you always retrace the same steps and are no longer able to face the surprises that life holds for you. One day, instead of driving home, take the bus or bike. After work, do something spontaneous, or go to a different coffee shop than the one you usually frequent.
Step 2. Eliminate negative thoughts
This is an extremely important part of being able to be determined and achieve your goals. Thinking negatively will get you bogged down in negativity, which makes life's obstacles and lefties much more difficult to cope with. Positivity, on the other hand, allows you to persevere.
- Pay attention to your negative thought patterns. Learn to identify the negative language you use with yourself and in the situations you face. For example: If you catch yourself thinking, "I'm so weak I can't even do a push-up," change that thought. Instead, think: "My goal is to be very strong and, for that purpose, I will dedicate myself to doing push-ups."
- Use the list of positive qualities that your circle of acquaintances helped you identify, as shown in one of the previous steps. When you start thinking about yourself negatively, stop and consider your strengths.
- Like anyone else, you have some features you need to work on. Maybe you're not a good communicator, or maybe you have a bad temper. Recognizing that there is room for improvement is a great thing! The problem comes from focusing solely on those traits and seeing yourself defined by only those characteristics.
Step 3. Develop self-confidence
Security is the ability to believe in yourself, regardless of how bad things may seem. Confident people face a difficulty and believe they can overcome it. This, in a nutshell, is determination. Determination is seeing an obstacle and believing that you can overcome it, not necessarily because you have done so in the past, but because you cannot imagine that you cannot overcome it.
- Practice trusting yourself until you start to feel really confident. Walk with your head held high, maintain an energetic posture and act as if you own a space and as if you are important (because you are). The more you practice acting like you matter, the more you will make your brain believe it.
- Don't compare yourself to other people. You may feel that you are not as determined as your big sister, or that you are not as successful as your best friend. Ask yourself if what they are doing is important to you. The goals you are achieving will be different from those of your friend. You have different goals in life, as well as different definitions of success. Don't limit yourself by comparing your successes to those of others.
Step 4. Be realistic
You need to make sure that the goals and roadmap you are setting yourself are actually achievable. That's why it's important to keep your goal load manageable, but, at the same time, hard enough for you to keep your resolve.
- Choose your battles. Don't try to force your way through every single obstacle and object. When you hit a really big obstacle, it's best to stop and reconsider what purpose to move forward.
- For example: Let's say you feel you really want to be an astronaut and go to space, but you contract a debilitating disease that makes it impossible for you to pass physical exams. You should reconsider how to pursue your passion in a new way (possibly by becoming an astrophysicist, or contributing to the design of spaceships, or even finding a way for someone else, who has the same limitations as you, to go into space).
- An example of a situation where you are too hard on yourself could be this: one of your goals is to excel in college; so you decide to take the more difficult courses and give private lessons to other students, while trying to work at the same time. At some point, you will need to take a break, abandoning private lessons or choosing to take one or more less difficult courses.
Step 5. Live healthily
Making healthy lifestyle choices can help to keep your resolve alive. Functioning well can be much easier if your body is supported by good food, enough sleep, and lots of exercise. All of these things can help deal with problems like anxiety and depression which can make it much more difficult for you to be determined.
- Sleeping is a very important factor in maintaining health and mental abilities. Try to get at least eight hours of sleep every night, trying to make sure, if possible, that many of those hours precede midnight. To help you fall asleep faster, turn off your electronic devices (computer, phone, iPod) at least 30 minutes before going to bed.
- Eat healthy food. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables (especially dark green and colored ones, which have more nutrients). Avoid eating a lot of sugary, salty, and packaged foods, which can make you feel sluggish or depressed. Eat good carbohydrates, such as whole grain rice, oatmeal, and wheat germ. Get enough protein (eggs, fish, lean meats, etc.).
- Get half an hour of exercise every day. Exercise releases chemicals like endorphins, which give you more energy and improve your mood. Exercise can consist of anything from dancing to music to taking a long run.
Part 3 of 3: Maintain Determination
Step 1. Learn from difficulties
Determined and determined people are people who don't call things "failures". Inevitably, obstacles and learning experiences will present themselves in your path, no matter how prepared you are. In most cases, obstacles and "failures" are actually opportunities (trivial as it may sound).
- Reframe the problem. A good way to do this is to consider the "why". For example, if you are asked to build a bridge over a river, ask what need is there. The answer might be "Why do you have to go to the other side". But, of course, there are other ways of crossing a river (a ferry, a tunnel, a balloon…). Assessing the need for a bridge may present you with further possibilities (why do you have to cross the river? What kind of materials are available? Etc.). Asking these questions will open up a world of possibilities.
- Ask yourself what you have learned from a so-called "failure". What would you do differently if the opportunity arose? What combination of factors caused the "failure"? Was failure as bad as you feared?
- Fear of failure is one of the main obstacles preventing people from achieving their goals, however determined they may think they are. Conversely, seeing "failure" as a learning opportunity makes you less likely to fear it will happen, thus making it easier for you to achieve your goals.
Step 2. Find creative solutions
Thinking outside the box will help keep you on track and achieve your goals. This is especially important when hitting an obstacle, because creative solutions can often provide you with a perspective that you might not otherwise have considered.
- Daydreaming is an incredibly useful tool. When confronted with a problem, take some time to daydream and leave your mind free to consider the problem unrestricted. A good time to daydream is right before going to bed at night, but you can actually do it at any time.
- Ask yourself a few questions to stimulate your ability to solve problems: If you had any resource in the world, how would you approach the problem? If there was no chance of failure, what would you feel? If you didn't have to worry about the budget, what resources would you use? If you could ask anyone for help, who would you turn to?
Step 3. Use the visualization
While this may sound a little odd, visualization is actually a very powerful technique that can give your resolve a boost. Visualize yourself achieving the goals you are trying to accomplish. The clearer your visualization (with specific sounds, smells and details), the more likely you are to actually reach them.
Try to practice meditation every day. This helps calm your mind and makes it easier for you to keep focused on the things you consider important. Try to meditate for at least 15 minutes a day (or choose to meditate for a specific number of breaths so you don't have to constantly check your clock)
Step 4. Remind yourself why determination is so important to you
When you forget why you are doing something, continuing to do it becomes much more difficult. If you lose sight of the things that are important to you, you will be less likely to be able to accomplish them.
- When fighting temptation, ask yourself, "What am I losing if I give in to this desire?". For example: if you are tempted to spend money on eating out instead of saving for your long trip, remind yourself what you will lose (you will need more time to put together the money for the trip, or you will not be able to go to all places. you would like, because you will not be able to afford it).
- Think long-term. Imagine the future and the paths of your life unfolding in front of you, thanks to your hard work and determination today. Realize that being strong now will be a good exercise for the future.
Step 5. Replenish your energies
Sometimes you really need to take a break so you can put your energies back on the line. There is nothing wrong with that! Taking a break doesn't mean you're not determined, it's just that you're resting to keep working hard to achieve your goals.
- Take a break. It can be long, like a real vacation, or small, limited, for example, to a free afternoon to go out for a coffee or do some shopping in the bookstore.
- Do something you love. Make sure you reward yourself for achieving your goals and for your determination. This will increase your chances of being successful.
Advice
- Moderate your alcohol consumption. Alcohol lowers blood glucose levels, which reduces your willpower.
- Reward yourself for your efforts and successes, as long as you deserve it. It will also be a good incentive!
- Support your ambition by reminding yourself of all the times you have achieved positive milestones. This will keep your resolve alive.
