Taking things very seriously can be a great quality and shows that you are conscientious, thoughtful and diligent; otherwise, taking things too seriously can cause unnecessary tension and worry about minor things. By becoming aware of why you tend to take things too seriously and by learning to face life with greater humor and lightness, you will be able to stop being so serious and start enjoying life more.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Reflect to Encourage Carefree
Step 1. Use a list to keep things in perspective
Free yourself from the serious attitude by asking yourself questions that can help you set your priorities. When you are feeling particularly stern, start thinking by trying to answer the following questions:
- Is it worth getting mad about this?
- Is it worth it for others to get angry about this?
- Is it really that important?
- Is that really that terrible thing to deal with?
- Is this a truly irreparable situation?
- Is it really my problem?
Step 2. Be understanding of others
A strict mindset can keep you from knowing when it is best to take things lightly or jokingly. You may make hasty conclusions about what someone said or did. For example, if a person points out to you that you have a small stain on your shirt, you may think they are saying that you are not presentable. Suddenly, a helpful comment turned into an offense.
Instead of reacting instinctively, interpreting each word as having very serious implications, try to look for an alternative meaning in what people say. Keep in mind that most people have no ulterior motives and are not hinting at any underlying implications
Step 3. See the good mood everywhere
Being able to see the humorous side of life is as important as being able to have a simpler and more practical vision of things. When you are tempted to think "I'm too big for this" or "Does anyone really find this funny?", Try to bring out that part of you that is able to appreciate the situation, even if it means having to play someone else's shoes.
Ultimately, it has been proven that the two most desirable qualities in a leader are good work ethic and a good sense of humor. Consider being able to be a zealous and diligent person without constantly being serious. Learn to put the same effort into both work and fun
Step 4. Become more flexible
Since you never know exactly what will happen or why, an incomplete goal or a ruined plan could mean that life has something totally different and unexpected in store for you. Remember the famous saying "life is a journey not a destination"? Then sleep peacefully and loosen the reins, since it is often the uncertain and unforeseen situations that bring with them the greatest rewards and surprises, which you would never have thought of achieving on your own.
Try to consider your main goals as possible milestones on your personal journey. In this way, they will stop being final goals and your view will immediately widen. Making it to an intermediate stage is a great way to find the inspiration you need to keep moving forward
Part 2 of 3: Taking Action to Encourage Carefree
Step 1. From time to time, leave the marked path
Whenever you take an unusual path, letting something new interrupt your routine, you learn to feel less uncomfortable with life's little surprises. In addition, you have the opportunity to experience a greater number of benefits that derive precisely from unusual events; for example, you might decide to try to enter a different place than usual and there you could make new and interesting friends.
Even the smallest changes that take you away from the routine, like taking a new route to work, will inspire you to slow down and focus on the things you don't normally notice. However small, each change can help you distract yourself (even from the worries that keep you serious) and live in the present
Step 2. Learn to manage stress
When you are stressed, you tend to take everything much more seriously; worries encourage the body and mind to react more intensely. As a result, you enter a vicious circle: you are stressed out because you take things too seriously and, in doing so, you further increase your level of tension. It is therefore important to learn how to relieve stress through physical and mental techniques. Here are some useful strategies:
- Make long-term lifestyle changes, for example by changing your diet or exercise program for the better;
- Create and use to-do lists to better organize yourself;
- Reduce negative thoughts;
- Practice progressive muscle relaxation;
- Learn the techniques of mindfulness meditation and visualization.
Step 3. Express yourself through movement
Loosening up a little will make you more flexible towards life as well. There are numerous movement-oriented disciplines that can help you relieve those body tensions that often accompany an overly serious mind. Depending on your personal tastes, you could start practicing yoga, aerobics, dance, or an expressive art such as theater improvisation or acting.
Whatever discipline you have chosen, taking a class may be more useful than trying to learn on your own, because in the presence of other people you may feel more motivated to melt and let go
Step 4. Fill your life with music
Music helps you to heighten certain emotions, so listening to it more frequently can be a great way to change your mood. If you want to take yourself less seriously and focus on the more joyful parts of life, listening to cheerful music will help you focus more easily on the many positive aspects of your daily life.
Try listening to very upbeat songs based on major chords. You can choose the musical genre you prefer, the important thing is that it helps you to feel relaxed and comfortable
Step 5. Find ways to laugh
Intentionally seeking opportunities to laugh will help you remember how much fun there is in any situation. Here are some simple methods that can help make you laugh more:
- Watch a comedy movie or funny TV show;
- Watch a cabaret show;
- Read the cartoons in the newspapers;
- Tell funny stories;
- Invite friends over to play together;
- Play with your pet (if you have one);
- Attend a "laughter yoga" class;
- Behave foolish when playing with children;
- Find time for fun activities (like bowling, minigolf, karaoke).
Step 6. Joke around to stave off milder frustrations
The inconveniences happen all the time, it is inevitable, but there is always the possibility to laugh about it. Even when you think there's really nothing to laugh about, for example if you've found a hair in your favorite soup, try to smile that something so small has the power to mess with your plans.
- You may be gloomy and blamed that your printer is not working well or you may laugh at it, thinking it is what you deserve since you are persisting in using what may now be called an antique.
- Try to intentionally turn a trifle into a tragedy just to see how foolish you are when you do it mechanically. You are angry that you broke your fingernail or dropped a coin down a drain pretending it's the worst thing in the world. Doing so will help you gain an external perspective of what you can look like when you get really angry.
Step 7. Surround yourself with fun and motivating people
Probably the easiest way to remind yourself to stop taking life too seriously is to get involved with a group of people who love to have fun and whose mere presence can neutralize your seriousness. Notice which friends are old and new who seem to be able to laugh easily and encourage you to do the same.
- Even when you are not together, imagine what these people would think when they see how seriously you are dealing with any situation. Think about it, how would they react to the same problem?
- Laughing together is a great way to strengthen relationships and make them last a long time. Laughing together allows you to strengthen bonds and share emotions, with the added benefit of giving yourself joy and vitality.
Part 3 of 3: Discovering the Origins of Your Seriousness
Step 1. Reflect on the pursuit of perfection
In some cases, being overly serious can come from the stubbornness of wanting to live a certain way. Let's assume that one of your main goals is to feed yourself healthily, so you intend to prepare your dishes with only gluten-free and super-healthy ingredients (super food). Chances are, if someone were to offer you a piece of cake at their birthday party, you will react with stiffness, feeling uncomfortable, and providing a tedious explanation as to why you intend to turn it down. Imagine what the birthday boy will think: "Damn, it's just a piece of cake, what could happen if he ate it?".
- As fair as it is to have goals, pursuing them with such fervor can make even the smallest setbacks seem like huge obstacles. As a result, the things you take seriously will become more and more marginal.
- In fact, some research has shown that the pursuit of perfectionism is linked to lower levels of success and productivity because it often forces us to procrastinate.
Step 2. Ask yourself if you are trying to prove something to yourself
Sometimes, being too serious can come from seeing your every gesture as a demonstration of your skills and worth as a person. Remember that student who acted like every little assignment was as important as the final exam? Even a single bad grade convinced him that he was a bad student on the verge of failure.
- When you think that your every gesture should confirm your worth, even the most mundane tasks turn into occasions when you feel you have to prove something to yourself and to others.
- Try to figure out if being vulnerable scares you. Whether at work or at home, we are implicitly required to be strong and to do everything perfectly regarding multiple aspects of life. As a result, we become reluctant to show any signs of uncertainty or an emotional reaction to stress.
- If the expectations of you are very high, either from you or from others, this can be even more challenging. Are you trying to maintain your reputation as a factotum workaholic?
Step 3. Remember that we live in a goal-oriented society
Our capitalist culture greatly values efficiency and productivity, for this reason it is considered very important to know how to set and achieve one's goals. It's easy to lose sight of the fact that this is a particularly beneficial tactic only in the business world. When we apply it to all aspects of our life, we are mistakenly convinced that we always know exactly what we need to do and how to do it.
- Being a product of your own culture is a wonderful thing, but being aware of the origin of your attitude can help you act less compulsively and more responsibly.
- This mentality can greatly limit your ability to open yourself to the world and to accept the situations that life holds for you, considering them pleasant surprises.
Step 4. Notice when seriousness turns into a defense weapon
The feeling of being in danger is one of the main causes of being serious. After all, it's impossible to relax and take things lightly while you feel like you have to defend yourself from a threat. Try to release tension by focusing on the positive aspects of the current situation; Also, consider the many benefits that can come from dealing with something new.
Many people are pushed to develop a kind of overactive alertness by their parents. Even when the family's intentions are good, the constant warnings of possible dangers and the importance of being cautious can lead you to discern a potential threat in anything
Step 5. Understand the consequences of being too serious
One of the main disadvantages of always taking life too seriously is the near impossibility of being able to seize favorable opportunities and think outside the box. An overemphasis on seriousness can lead you to misjudge what is worth doing and what should be avoided. When you neglect the things that intrigue you or make you feel remarkably good, you end up losing some of your innate ability to expand your horizons.
- Ironically, being too serious could also make you less productive because it makes you more nervous than you should. Suppose you are convinced that if dinner is not ready by seven o'clock it will be a real tragedy, in which case you will act hastily forgetting the joys of cooking, that is what really motivates you to prepare always better and original dishes.
- Taking things too seriously can also affect your interpersonal relationships, making you more critical and ready to judge everything around you. You may appreciate a person's laughter, but your excessive seriousness may lead you to think that a good laugh will not pay the doctor's fee in case someone has an accident.
