Your mind is made up of many different parts, each with the ability to influence your behavior. It may be helpful to change how one area of the brain affects your decisions, for example by acting on that part of the mind to make sure you are getting enough nutrients and calories, and which sometimes prompts you to eat fatty foods. although another area of the brain recognizes that, in the long run, poor nutrition will damage both your health and your appearance. The key to being able to take control of your mind is to master the behaviors you want to change. The methods to do this are numerous: continue reading the article to find out more.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Think Differently
Step 1. Don't ruminate on thoughts
Often you may find that you are mulling over something negative, even if unintentionally. There are many ways to take control of your mind and stop ruminating:
- Imagine the worst possible scenario. Although it may seem counterproductive, most likely the fact of thinking about the worst achievable scenario, evaluating whether you would be able to handle it, will make you realize that you have the necessary skills to master the situation, helping you to remove most of the worries.
- From time to time, leave room for your fears. Schedule a time of day to reflect on current issues to make sure you give them all the attention they need; during the remaining time you will be less prone to worry excessively.
- Go for a walk. Keeping yourself busy outside the home will help you distract yourself from what ails you, both thanks to the movement itself, and because you will come into contact with new information (images, sounds, smells) that will help you to turn your mind elsewhere, towards less stressful objects.
Step 2. Believe in yourself, trusting that you can change
When you don't believe you can succeed, you are not inclined to give your all. Convince yourself that you can be successful by taking a constructive attitude in solving problems. Try to remind yourself that it is always possible to change your thoughts - and yourself - for the better.
Studies have shown that, compared to those who regard their abilities and characteristics as immutable, people who assume an "evolutionary" mindset are more likely to be able to change as they wish
Step 3. Be optimistic about your skills
You may believe in the importance of being able to assess your self-control skills with precision; however, research has shown that abundant optimism about this can lead to a greater ability to control one's behavior.
- To be able to be optimistic, tell yourself several times that you will be successful and that you will be able to repeatedly take control of your mind, even if in reality you are not yet convinced.
- Also, remind yourself of all the times you were able to take control of your mind as you wished. Focus only on the positive results, leaving out the circumstances in which you have not shown sufficient self-control.
Step 4. Reflect on the aspect of yourself that you are trying to change
Try changing the way you view the behavior you want to control. For example, if part of your mind prompts you to drink wine even though you are trying to quit, try imagining wine as a poison. Visualize it as it descends through the esophagus, progressively infecting cells and organs. Some studies suggest that mentally converting an object from desirable to unwelcome promotes better self-control on real occasions when you want to avoid it.
To this end, try to imagine the object as vividly as possible, dwelling on the thought that its characteristics have changed radically
Step 5. Stop generalizing
An excessive generalization causes every single negative experience to be projected onto the next ones, giving rise to pessimistic and erroneous predictions about the future. For example, generalizing too much, you might say: "I had a difficult childhood, consequently my whole life will be filled with difficulties." To stop generalizing, you can:
- Take charge of changing your future by working hard and tenaciously. For example, if you had difficulties as a child that made you believe that your life will be difficult forever, make an effort to recognize the things you would like to improve, then work towards achieving the desired results.
- Going deeper into this example, you may dream of living in a more fulfilling relationship or having a better job. If so, you should look for a way to achieve these things, and then set yourself goals that you will strive to achieve.
Step 6. Don't take things personally
Personalization is a trap that pushes you to take responsibility for events that are beyond your control. For example, if your daughter had a bad fall in school, you might think, "It's my fault she fell," when you really had no control over the situation.
- To avoid taking things personally, try to rationally analyze events, as carefully as possible. It might be helpful to ask yourself a few questions.
- For example, you might ask yourself, "Considering I was somewhere else, how could I have prevented my daughter from falling?"
Step 7. Don't rush to conclusions
Again, we are talking about a dangerous trap, which prompts you to formulate negative thoughts without any supporting evidence. For example, one person who makes hasty conclusions may think that another person doesn't like it without real evidence to support this claim.
To stop making hasty judgments, try pausing for thought before drawing any conclusions. Asking a few questions about such thoughts could be very helpful. For example, you can ask yourself if you are really sure that your opinion matches reality. In addition, you can import to identify specific evidence to support your thesis. Going back to the previous example, a person who thinks another person doesn't like him might force himself to highlight particular conversations that prove his conclusions are true
Step 8. Don't be catastrophic
This mind trap leads you to magnify events for no reason. For example, a person who proves catastrophic after failing an exam might say, "My life is ruined, I'll never get a good job."
To stop being catastrophic, commit to thinking more positively. You can also ask yourself questions that urge you to use logic and reason. For example, a person who, having failed an exam, thinks his life is ruined because he will never be able to find a good job, might ask himself: "I know someone who, despite having failed an exam, still got a good job and / or do you seem happy? If I had to hire someone, would I choose to base my decision solely on the result of a single exam?"
Method 2 of 2: Develop Good Habits
Step 1. Formulate a plan for your life
By knowing where you want to go, it will be easier to resist temptations that could harm you in the long run. Write down the main goals you want to achieve, such as a successful career, family or financial independence.
- It is not necessary to set each stage in detail to reach your goals: the important thing is to keep in mind what the general goal is to be able to stay on the correct track.
- When formulating your personal goals, remember not to set the bar too high, otherwise it will be almost inevitable to make mistakes, risking to undermine your motivation.
- Set broader goals, such as learning how to create software, but break them down into smaller, easier-to-achieve goals, such as reading a chapter of a programming manual every week. In this way you will produce tangible results that will bring you closer to the final goal.
Step 2. Smile even when you don't feel like it
Negative feelings wear out self-control, hindering dominance over the mind. Smiling spontaneously is a simple - but very effective - way to counteract such harmful feelings.
The fact of smiling when you feel happy appears much more natural, however some studies performed on facial movements suggest that when we smile voluntarily we can trigger a real feeling of happiness (theory of the "Facial feedback hypothesis")
Step 3. Dedicate yourself to others
Research has shown that devoting some of our time (or money) to other people can enhance our feelings of happiness and well-being. As a result, we can increase self-esteem while reducing negative feelings that hinder self-control.
How you spend your time or money on others is not important; what matters is that you both see it as a feat
Step 4. Put obstacles in your path
One way to control the mind is to boycott it when it wants something. This extra effort will make them less likely to achieve their goals, negatively affecting your behavior. For example, if you want to import into that part of your mind that wants to watch TV, indulging in what you find useful to reduce the time you spend in front of the TV, you can store the remote in a hard-to-reach place.
- Assuming you have a habit of hitting the snooze button on your alarm in the morning, you can decide to place it away from the bed, to be forced to get up to turn it off.
- In another hypothesis, you may find it difficult to abstain from sex, even if you want to change your behavior. In this case, you may decide to avoid situations that cause you to have occasional sexual intercourse, such as going to some clubs or nightclubs; you could also delete from the address book the numbers of people with whom you have occasional sexual encounters.
Step 5. Reward your efforts
Whenever you manage to have good self-control, coming to dominate your mind, reward yourself for the effort made. In the future you will be more inclined to achieve the same successes. For example, assuming that even though you have no desire to exercise, you have forced yourself to stick to your exercise routine, you could reward yourself by eating a piece of chocolate or watching an episode of your favorite TV show.
Be careful not to choose an excessive reward, otherwise, trying to gain control over one situation, you risk losing it in another. For example, if your goal is to lose weight and you have managed to overcome the urge to skip your daily workout, don't give yourself a big chunk of chocolate - otherwise you risk compromising your progress so far
Step 6. Punish unsuccessful efforts
Just as rewarding each success can benefit others in the future, punishing yourself for failure can help you have greater self-control in the following occasions. In fact, some studies have shown that the threat of punishment can cause people to exercise more control over their mind.
To make sure the punishment is effective, give it to a friend, family member, or partner, asking them to apply it in case you fail to demonstrate the desired self-control. For example, a family member may keep your dessert hidden, refusing to give it to you if you fail to achieve your goals in terms of control over your mind at the end of the day
Step 7. Relieve Stress
Mind and body are deeply connected. The mind can cause the body to be stressed, just as the physical stress of the body can cause the mind to become deeply anxious. When people are stressed, they resort to self-control to cope with sources of stress, but soon after, they tend to let their guard down. For this reason it is important to relieve stress in order to conserve the energy necessary to exercise control over the mind. There are numerous methods that can relieve stress, although not all of them guarantee the same quality of results:
- Experiment with some anti-stress techniques, such as diaphragmatic breathing exercises, in which a deep inhalation is followed by a short pause in which to hold the breath and a subsequent slow exhalation, lasting a few seconds. If you wish, you can also try to focus your mind on a single relaxing word (eg "calm" or "peace").
- Get some exercise. Moving your body will cause you to breathe more deeply, and will also help you relax the tense muscles.
- Talk to a family member or friend. Knowing that you can count on the support of a loved one can help you relieve stress.
