Unfortunately, children are not immune from traumatic events and psychological suffering, such as post-traumatic stress disorder. While a painful and shocking experience can hurt them when it is not told and elaborated properly, the good news is that younger people are able to cope with trauma if they are supported by adults they can rely on. The sooner the signs of trauma are recognized, the sooner you can help them get the support they need, move on and put the pieces of their lives back together.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Understanding the Trauma
Step 1. Determine what experiences can be considered traumatic in childhood
A traumatic experience is an event that terrifies or upsets the child to the point that it seems to him a threat (real or perceived) to his own life, in front of which he feels extremely vulnerable. Potentially traumatizing events include:
- Natural disasters;
- Traffic accidents and other accidents;
- Abandonment;
- Verbal, physical, psychological and sexual violence (including some aspects, such as acquiescence or the so-called "compliance effect" - that is, the tendency to pick up all the small signals of the abuser to try to understand what response you want and then correspond to this - restrictions and isolation);
- Sexual assault or rape
- Large-scale violence, such as a mass shooting or terrorist attack;
- War;
- Violent / intense bullying or persecution;
- Witnessing other people's trauma (such as witnessing violence).
Step 2. Realize that everyone reacts differently
If two children have the same experience, they may experience different or different symptoms. What traumatizes a child can be hardly upsetting for a child of his age.
Step 3. Consider trauma symptoms in parents and other people close to the child
A parent with PTSD can induce a traumatic response in their child. This reaction could be even more serious because the child perceives this attitude in the adult world around him, especially in the parents with whom he feels strongly in tune.
Part 2 of 4: Paying Attention to Physical Symptoms
Step 1. Pay attention to changes in the child's personality
Compare the way he acts with the way he acted before the trauma. If you notice exasperated reactions or a noticeable change from your normal behavior, there is probably something wrong.
It is possible that the child develops a new personality (for example, a self-confident girl suddenly becomes a fragile and easy-going person) or varies considerably between various moods (for example, a boy alternates between introversion and aggression)
Step 2. Consider how easily he gets nervous
A traumatized child may cry and complain about very mundane situations that might not have irritated him so much before.
He may become excessively upset when a memory related to the trauma occurs: for example, he becomes very anxious or cries when he sees an object or a person that reminds him of what happened
Step 3. Identify the signs of regression
The child may exhibit more infantile attitudes, such as thumb sucking and bed wetting (bedwetting). It occurs mainly in cases of sexual violence, but it can also be found in other types of trauma.
Children with developmental disabilities may more easily experience regression and, consequently, it is more difficult to understand whether or not it is related to a traumatic event
Step 4. Notice if he shows himself passive and acquiescent
Traumatized children can try to please their abusers or avoid irritating them, especially adults. Typically, they divert attention from the threat, show acquiescence, and / or strive to be "perfect."
Step 5. Look for signs of anger and aggression
A traumatized child can misbehave, develop a lot of frustration and have a lot of temper tantrums. He may even become aggressive towards others.
Maybe he looks cheeky or gets into trouble often. This behavior is most evident in school
Step 6. Notice if you are physically ill, for example you may have a headache, vomiting or fever
Children often react to trauma and stress by exhibiting physical symptoms that are likely not attributable to any disease. These symptoms can worsen when the child has to do something related to the trauma (for example, go to school after a violence committed within the school walls) or when he is stressed.
Part 3 of 4: Paying Attention to Psychological Symptoms
Step 1. Identify behavioral changes
If your child acts differently than he did before the traumatic event, this could indicate that something is wrong. Notice if there is an increase in anxiety states.
It is normal for children to have difficulties in daily life after suffering trauma. They may rebel against having to fall asleep, go to school, or hang out with friends. Academic performance may deteriorate and there is a risk of behavioral regressions occurring. Notice the most problematic aspects after a traumatic event
Step 2. Be careful if you are strongly attached to people or objects
The child can literally feel lost in the absence of the person they trust or their favorite object, such as a toy, blanket or soft toy. In fact, if he does not have the person or object in question, he can become enormously upset because he does not feel safe.
- Traumatized children may suffer from separation anxiety from their parents (or guardians) and fear to stay away from these figures.
- Some isolate themselves and "detach" themselves from family or friends, preferring to be alone.
Step 3. Notice if you have night fears
Traumatized children may have difficulty falling asleep or sleeping peacefully or rebel when they have to go to bed. In these cases, they are afraid of being alone at night, with the light off or in their own room. Nightmares, night terror, or bad dreams can increase.
Step 4. See if he is obsessed with the possibility of the traumatic event happening again
The child may be continually wondering if the trauma they have experienced could happen again or they will seek measures to prevent it (for example, repeatedly urging them to drive slowly after a car accident). Adult reassurances are unlikely to alleviate his fears.
- Some children may be obsessed with the need to prevent the painful event from recurring - for example, they always check the fire alarm after a house fire. This fear can turn into obsessive-compulsive disorder.
- They can continuously reproduce the trauma when they are intent on some creative work or playing: for example, they draw the lived event several times or repeatedly crash the cars into other objects.
Step 5. Consider how much he trusts adults
Since adults have not been able to protect him in the past, he may doubt their intervention and decide that no one is able to protect his safety. He is likely to no longer believe adults when they try to reassure him.
- If a child has been traumatized, a defense mechanism is triggered in him that leads him to distrust others, because he cannot feel safe next to anyone or anywhere.
- If he has been the victim of violence, he may even begin to fear all adults. For example, a girl injured by a tall blond man might be afraid of her tall blond uncle just because he looks like the one who hurt her.
Step 6. Notice if you are afraid of certain places
If a child experiences a traumatic event in a particular place, they are likely to avoid or fear it. In some cases, he might tolerate it thanks to the presence of a loved one or a transitional object, but he probably couldn't stand the idea of being left there alone.
For example, a child who has been abused by a psychotherapist may scream and cry if he sees the office building and may even panic if he hears the word "psychotherapy"
Step 7. Pay attention if he feels guilty or ashamed
The child may feel responsible for the traumatic event for something he has done, said or thought. These fears are not always rational. He may blame himself for a situation in which he did nothing wrong and could not have improved in any way.
These beliefs are likely to foster obsessive-compulsive behaviors. For example, if a boy and his sister were playing with dirt in the garden when the traumatic event occurred, he may later feel the need to keep everyone perfectly clean and pristine
Step 8. Notice how she interacts with other children
It happens that a traumatized minor feels excluded and does not know how to interact normally with peers or is not at all interested in them. Alternatively, it could recount or reproduce the traumatic event, annoying or upsetting the other children.
- They may have difficulty making and cultivating friendships or engaging in appropriate relationship dynamics. There is a risk that he will show a passive attitude towards his peers or try to control or mistreat them. In other cases, he may isolate himself because he cannot connect with others.
- If he has been a victim of sexual abuse, he may try to mimic the experience he experienced while playing, so it is important to observe him interacting with his peers after the trauma.
Step 9. Pay attention if he gets scared easily
The trauma can cause a state of hypervigilance that leads him to always be "on guard". He may be afraid of wind, rain, sudden noises, or may seem fearful or aggressive if someone gets too close.
Step 10. Examine what external fears
A traumatized child tends to develop new fears by talking about or worrying excessively about them. It seems that nothing can alleviate his anguish and reassure him that he is in no danger.
- For example, if he has experienced a natural disaster or is a refugee, he may be obsessed with worries that his family is not safe or has nowhere to live.
- He may be haunted by the dangers his relatives might face and try to protect them.
Step 11. Beware of self-harming gestures or contemplating suicide
A traumatized child may often talk about death, give away items, stop socializing, and give instructions regarding his demise.
- After trauma, some children are obsessed with death and may talk excessively or learn to a great extent, even if they do not contemplate suicide.
- If there has been a death in the family, talking about death is not always a sign of suicidal behavior. Sometimes, it just indicates that the child is trying to understand death and the transience of life. However, if it happens often, it is best to dig deeper to see if something is wrong.
Step 12. Watch for symptoms related to anxiety, depression, or swagger
If you suspect any problems, take your child to a psychologist or psychiatrist.
- Observe eating habits, sleep, mood and concentration. If something in the baby changes dramatically or seems unusual, it is best to investigate.
- Trauma can be confused with other disorders. For example, after suffering a bad shock, some children become hyperactive, impulsive, and unable to concentrate - behavior that is often traced back to attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Others may appear defiant or aggressive - an attitude sometimes considered a mere behavioral problem. If something is wrong, see a mental health professional.
Part 4 of 4: Move on
Step 1. Keep in mind that although a child does not exhibit the above symptoms, it does not mean that they have no problems
A traumatic event also affects a young person, but the latter may repress his emotions because of the need to show himself strong or courageous in front of the family or because of the fear of upsetting others.
Step 2. Remember that a traumatized minor must be cared for with particular attention to overcome what has happened to him
He should have the opportunity to express what he is feeling in relation to the event, but also be able to do things that completely distract him from the experience he has lived.
- If it's your child, tell him he can come to you whenever he has fears, questions, or concerns he wants to talk about. In these cases, give him your full attention and validate his feelings.
- If the traumatic event has made headlines (such as a school shooting or a natural disaster), decrease its exposure to media sources and monitor its use of TV and the Internet. If he is repeatedly exposed to what happened through the news, his recovery could become complicated.
- By offering emotional support, you can reduce the risk of the trauma becoming unsurpassable or mitigate its consequences.
Step 3. Keep your eyes open even if the symptoms of trauma do not immediately emerge
It happens that some children do not exhibit any anger for weeks or even months. In such circumstances, it is not appropriate to push them to analyze and express their feelings. It may take them time to process what happened.
Step 4. Seek help right away if trauma leaves behind
The responses, reactions and intelligence of those directly responsible for a child affect the child's ability to cope with a traumatic event.
Step 5. Consult a therapist or psychologist if you cannot cope with what you have been through
While love and emotional support are very helpful, sometimes children need a lot more to recover from a terrifying event. Don't be afraid to ask for help for your child.
Step 6. Evaluate the right therapy
Therapeutic pathways that can aid the child's recovery include psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, cognitive-behavioral therapy, hypnotherapy, and desensitization and reworking through eye movements.
If the traumatic event has affected some family members or if you feel that assistance for the whole family is appropriate, consider family therapy
Step 7. Don't try to go through it all by yourself
While it is natural for you to want to support your child, it will be more difficult on your own, especially if you have also been a victim of the same trauma. The child perceives that you are distressed or scared, he is obviously conditioned by this whole situation, so you must also take care of yourself.
- Take the time to talk about what's going on with the people you love, like your partner and friends. By externalizing what you feel, you can manage your emotions and feel less alone.
- If you or a loved one are having a very difficult time, seek out a support group.
- If you get down on yourself, ask yourself what you need right now. A hot shower, a good coffee, a hug, half an hour of reading? Take care of yourself.
Step 8. Encourage him to interact with others
Relatives, friends, therapists, teachers, and many others are able to support your child and family as you face the consequences of the traumatic event. You are not alone, and neither is your son.
Step 9. Contribute to his health
You can help him by making sure that he quickly resumes his habits, continuing to feed him correctly, encouraging him to play and directing him to a sport that allows him to socialize with his peers and exercise to stay healthy.
- Try to get him moving (by walking, biking to the park, swimming, diving, etc.) at least once a day.
- Ideally, 1/3 of his meals are made up of the fruit and vegetables he prefers.
Step 10. Be available at all times
What does it need? How can you support it? Enjoying the present is as important as facing the past.
Advice
- If you are trying to help a child who is suffering from a very painful event, try to find out about the effects of the trauma that younger people suffer. Read books and surf the internet so you get a clearer idea of what he's going through and how you can help him rebuild his well-being.
- If the child is unable to recover from a traumatic experience, his development can be compromised. The areas of the brain responsible for the linguistic, emotional and memory process are greatly affected by the trauma and the alterations that occur can be prolonged, as well as affecting academic performance, play and friendships.
- It can be therapeutic for children to draw and write because in this way they learn to express all their sadness and vulnerability, as well as throw out the memories of what happened. Even if a therapist tends to view these expressions as responsive behaviors, encourage them to use these means to express what they are feeling. Survival stories from traumatic events and tales of how other children have dealt with difficult situations can also help.
Warnings
- If the trauma is caused by an ongoing event, such as violence, move the child away from those who take advantage of him and seek help.
- If the child has any of these symptoms and is not rescued, they could develop psychological problems.
- Do not be angry if negative behaviors related to the traumatic experience occur: the child is unable to avoid them. Go back to the root and try to solve the problem. Pay particular attention to sleep and crying behavior (and don't be angry if you can't fall asleep or stop crying).
