It can be quite depressing when an exam goes wrong, not to mention embarrassment. However, there are many ways to encourage and support those who can't get over it! Help him manage his mood following the negative outcome by reminding him that everyone can make mistakes and that failure does not define us as people. You can also encourage him to understand how he could improve next time. Encourage him to take private lessons, help organize the space in which to study or explain your study method.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Helping Someone Cope With Failure
Step 1. Remind him that anyone can make a hole in the water
It is not very easy to accept the idea of failing an exam, especially the first time. Remind the other person that everyone experiences setbacks in life, even if they don't talk about it. We are people and people make mistakes!
You can tell him: "Anyone can fall. There are other students in our class who have not passed the exam. It happens to everyone at one time or another, but you will be able to put this experience behind you!"
Step 2. Let it vent
Maybe he just needs to express his anger or complain about the exam or course. It's normal! Listen to him in silence allowing him to express all his emotions related to this failure.
Invite him to explain his state of mind and let him talk as long as he feels the need. You might say, "Tell me how you feel. I'm here to listen to you as long as you want."
Step 3. Make him understand that this mistake does not define him personally
Many times, when one does not pass an exam, one tends to assimilate this experience to an overall defeat of one's life. Remind the other person that this was a simple exam at the end of a course. This means that he must not identify it as an existential failure and that he will get other nice satisfactions during his studies.
You can tell him, "I know you think you won't be able to swallow this bitter morsel, but you will. This rejection is not synonymous with failure. It was just a little hiccup."
Step 4. Offer a positive example
When you fail an exam, it is normal to believe that everything will go wrong. If you know someone who failed the same (or similar) test several times before passing it, report this experience! This way, you will reaffirm that good things can happen again.
For example, you might say, "Have you heard of Marco, the smartest student we've ever had? Well, he failed the same exam, after which he passed it brilliantly!"
Step 5. Suggest that he take a break
After a failure, some people feel compelled to start studying again immediately. If this is the case, ask the other person to give themselves a little respite, even if it's just for one day. Advise her to go for a walk or focus on household chores. It can be a great idea to regain mental energies.
You might say, "How about taking a walk? It will distract you and allow you to recharge."
Step 6. Don't make fun of him
Failing an exam can be very demoralizing. Even if everything seems normal, the other person may be hiding their true state of mind. So, avoid making fun of her about getting hit or comparing her grades to yours.
Method 2 of 3: Propose Solutions
Step 1. Help those who have been rejected discover a new way to study
Ask how long he has studied, how often he has taken notes in class, and if he thinks he has applied himself sufficiently. Help him find study methods and strategies he has never tried before. A new approach can allow him to obtain different results.
Show him which memory techniques you find most effective. For example, if you are used to using flashcards, you can explain to him how you organize your notes with this study tool
Step 2. Suggest that he put a time limit on his reactions
It is very easy to get obsessed for days or even weeks with the idea of having failed in some way. So, ask him to give himself some time - for example 24 hours - to react as he likes. After that, once this period has elapsed, he will have to return to focus on the steps to be taken.
Step 3. Help him organize the space to study
Ask him where he studies. If it's a noisy place, full of distractions, offer your help in creating a new environment in which he can prepare. Choose a secluded corner of your home to place your desk and chair. Alternatively, you could suggest a quiet coffee shop to hang out at.
Step 4. Suggest that they take private lessons
Some people just need a hand to learn how to study or prepare in certain subjects. There's nothing bad. Hence, you may want to advise those who have not passed an exam to take a few repetitions so that they have the necessary help.
You can suggest that he contact a professor or use the services offered by some companies specializing in this sector
Method 3 of 3: Coping with a Major Failure
Step 1. Encourage him to contact the professor immediately
If the rejection threatens to hinder his course of study or prevents him from graduating, he must speak to the teacher immediately. Even if he is embarrassed at the very idea of addressing the subject, it is essential to contact those who can help him as soon as possible.
For example, he might say: "Professor Rossi, I would very much like to meet you to discuss my recent rejection. I am afraid it may hamper my course of study or postpone my graduation."
Step 2. Help him express his concern
Going to a professor simply saying "I didn't pass the exam and now I can't graduate" won't get him anywhere. Rather, try it this way: pretend to be the teacher so that he prepares to explain his needs.
- For example, he might say: "I am very worried about this failure because it may prevent me from graduating. I have reread my notes and have nowhere found the topics I was questioned on during the exam."
- Alternatively: "I think I have adequately answered the questions. In my paper I analyzed the three points required in the outline. I hoped you could examine it during the oral test in order to explain my mistakes."
Step 3. Ask him to explain the extenuating circumstances
If he had a severe migraine, had just gotten bad news from home, or was sick, he probably wasn't in a position to take the exam. He should put the teacher aside of this information as they discuss what happened.
For example, she might say, "I didn't say anything on exam day because it seemed like a loophole, but I wasn't physically well and I think my health affected the final test result."
Step 4. Encourage him to ask the teacher for another opportunity
Some teachers are quite strict, but if a student proves to have serious problems, it is possible to compromise. For example, they can allow him to repeat the exam by recording it as soon as possible or propose a course to raise the average.
For example, he might ask: "Would you allow me to repeat the exam as soon as possible?"; or: "Is there any course I can take to raise the average? I'm really worried about the final grade of my degree."
Step 5. Tell him to stay calm
If a bad grade threatens to jeopardize the entire course of study, he could go on a rampage or turn badly to the professor. Encourage him to remain calm and be polite during the meeting.
He may feel more comfortable if he prepares to face the conversation. Pretend to be the teacher and let him vent all his frustration before he shows up for the study
Advice
- Support it. It is the best approach. An understanding, caring, and helpful attitude works wonders.
- Be patient. Some people react better to the help and encouragement of others when they feel respected and understood.
Warnings
- Avoid getting angry. Even if you are disappointed, contain yourself. Rattling off everything you expected from the other person is useless and even risks destroying their self-esteem, making things worse.
- Avoid being nagging. Do not give yourself airs of superiority and do not moralize anyone. You will only prove yourself unable to understand and put yourself in other people's shoes and force the person you want to help to walk away from you. In fact, he may even rebel and screw everything up just to spite you.
