Anger is a spontaneous emotional reaction to a personal wrong or offense, which is triggered when you believe you are the victim of an act of injustice or abuse. If you often react with anger and / or violence, it may be time for anger management therapy. Experiencing frequent temper tantrums can be harmful to health: among the negative consequences, for example, there is an increased risk of heart disease, especially among men. People with anger management issues tend to turn to mental health professionals. Therapy programs can effectively help control this emotion and express it in the right way.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Recognizing the Causes and Signs of Anger
Step 1. Think about the type of behavior you have had so far
Ask yourself if you often react violently. Do you happen to break things, attack people or otherwise take an aggressive attitude? They are the main symptoms of an anger management problem. The advice is to consult a psychotherapist or psychological counseling practitioner before you run the risk of harming yourself or others.
- Think locally and ask yourself if you often have a fight with friends, family or acquaintances. Arguing can happen in a relationship, but if arguments tend to escalate or become too frequent, they can be signs of an anger control problem.
- Have you ever had problems with justice in your life? Ask yourself if you have often had problems with justice or if you have been involved in episodes of aggression behind the wheel to the point of getting fines.
Step 2. Ask yourself if you often repress anger
This emotion is not always expressed openly. If you happen to experience feelings of unexpressed anger, you can benefit from anger management therapy.
Notice how you react to situations that are considered most commonly at risk, such as if someone treats you very rudely or while you are engaged in normal daily activities (at work, while commuting, driving, while watching television)
Step 3. Pay attention to your body's reactions
Anger is a powerful and highly visceral emotion that tends to affect the body. Pay attention to the bodily sensations you experience, especially those that reveal a state of anger.
There are various types of bodily signs of anger. These include: grinding of teeth, clenching fists, headache or stomach pain, rapid heartbeat, hot flashes, dizziness, redness of the face, sweating hands and, in general, body tension
Step 4. Try to put aside feelings of anger
People who have anger management problems tend to have a hard time concentrating when they are overwhelmed by this emotion. They may become intolerant and lose the ability to empathize or accept positions other than their own.
Some people vent their anger with sarcasm, or by raising their voices or pacing back and forth. You may also notice that when anger starts to mount, your sense of humor quickly fades away
Part 2 of 3: Assessing the Consequences of Anger
Step 1. Take stock of your relationships
The fact that your anger impacts others and your relationship with them may be indicative of a problem you can solve with therapy.
- During episodes of anger, do you happen to physically harm others or hurt them emotionally? Do you happen to lose friends because of your anger? Do you sometimes regret how you treat people when you are the victim of a fit of anger? In this case, the consequences are too burdensome: you have a problem and therapy can help you.
- Because of their hostile attitude, those who suffer from fits of anger tend to have few friends. Social support is a vital factor that can help protect you from stress and disease.
Step 2. Make a list of the negative effects of anger on your health
Frequent fits of anger can make you sick and damage your health. If you have a lot of headaches or other pains and you think your anger may be the cause, seriously consider therapy.
Keep in mind that there may be consequences that are not immediately visible, but no less dangerous for your health. For example, frequent fits of rabies are responsible for the increased risk of heart attack and other heart disease, especially among men
Step 3. Do you happen to break objects?
Anger exacerbates aggression and can lead to venting against objects, to the point of damaging or shattering them. If you happen to hit, break, or damage objects, you have a problem and anger management therapy can help.
Step 4. Pay attention to your attitudes
An angry person is cynical of others. Among his manifestations of cynicism we can find the arrogant attitude of those who think that the wrong and stupid things are done only by others.
For example, if a driver stops traffic because he doesn't notice the light has turned green, you might think, "only an idiot could do that," while in reality it's not hard to get distracted while waiting at the light. If you think anger leads you to have a negative view of the world, you have a problem and therapy can help you
Step 5. Check your alcohol and drug use
People with anger management problems tend to consume more alcohol and drugs than others. Substance abuse is dangerous to health and can cause social and emotional problems.
Step 6. Don't neglect your well-being
Ask yourself if anger makes you feel bad about the life consequences of your behavior, how it distorts your world view, or both.
If anger and the situations it leads to are so severe that they affect your psycho-physical well-being, it may be time for anger management therapy
Part 3 of 3: Deciding on the Right Type of Therapy
Step 1. Examine the various possibilities
There are different anger management techniques and various ways of accessing therapy.
There is no need to limit yourself to one technique: if you try one and are not satisfied with the result, if you have tried seriously, you can always try another or a combination of the two
Step 2. Learn about thought-based therapies
Some therapies push to change the way of thinking and focus on techniques that help calm down and stay calm.
- One of these approaches is based on relaxation. Among the relaxation techniques offered are deep breathing, viewing relaxing images and practicing gentle gymnastics such as yoga - all of these techniques can help you overcome anger. Relaxation techniques may be the best choice if you feel comfortable working on your body to reduce tension.
- Another approach is called cognitive restructuring, which simply means changing the way you think. This approach is based on logic and aims to prevent certain words, such as "never" or "always", from monopolizing the thoughts that lead to anger. This technique may be the best choice if you often have thoughts, or a mindset, that have the effect of exasperating your anger.
Step 3. Learn about therapies based on transforming your behavior or changing your environment
There are therapies that propose the action of change as the most effective and direct way to limit the triggers of anger. These techniques can be used alone or in combination with other methods that encourage you to change your way of thinking.
- One of these methods is based on the problem solving technique. If you are the victim of frequent fits of anger, it may not be trivially a disproportionate reaction to events, but rather a physiological adaptive response to try to overcome real and important problems, objectively difficult to face. Adopting a problem-solving approach may be the best choice if you feel it is consistent with your real situation and your relationship with anger.
- Sometimes the ideal is to change the environment directly. In some cases, the triggers of anger must be identified in the very environment in which you live; in these cases, an effective way to manage anger may be to try to change the environment, one way or another. For example, if you think there are many of the conditions that trigger your anger in the workplace, consider changing jobs, with the aim of finding one where you can be happier or, at least, less angry.. This choice may be best if you are able to identify a specific environmental factor, such as the workplace, that contributes greatly to your anger.
Step 4. Locate online resources
There are blogs and sites dedicated to helping people accept and overcome their anger management problems. They can be the right solution if you can't admit your problem in front of others.
Step 5. Schedule a visit to the office of a psychotherapist or psychological counseling practitioner
Ask your family doctor to recommend a good specialist. When you call the office, you can ask if they can recommend someone who specializes in anger management therapy.
As an alternative method, to locate a specialist, do an internet search by keyword "anger management therapy" and your place of residence, so you will find someone who operates in your geographic area
Step 6. Look for manuals on anger management online or in the library
Often they contain cards that can help you identify what triggers your anger are and, therefore, the most suitable therapy for you.
For example, one of these cards can help you become aware that your mind tends to overwhelm you, generating thoughts that contribute to anger. Consequently, you can orient yourself towards the method of cognitive restructuring
Step 7. Buy a punching bag and a pair of boxing gloves
Not only will it help you release your anger in a healthy and positive way, it is also a great way to exercise.
