Willpower is required to complete many difficult tasks. If you want to lose weight, quit smoking, or achieve certain professional goals, willpower is key. There are ways you can work to increase your willpower over time. Set personal goals, work hard, and make lifestyle changes to strengthen your resilience.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Set Goals
Step 1. Break down the things you need to tackle into manageable sections
Even if you feel overwhelmed, you shouldn't stop yourself from trying to feel better. You won't be able to improve your willpower if you think you always have to set incredibly high standards for yourself. You can increase your willpower by breaking down difficult tasks into smaller, more manageable parts.
- In her memoir Bird By Bird, writer Anne Lamott describes her brother working on a school assignment of cataloging different types of birds. After putting off the project at the last minute, he felt overwhelmed by the task until his father stepped in, putting his arm around his shoulders and saying, "One bird at a time, go one bird at a time." This obviously means that huge tasks can be broken down into manageable parts.
- If you want to achieve something without feeling overwhelmed, take things "one bird at a time". If you're doing a 20-page essay, commit to writing two pages a day in the weeks leading up to the deadline. If you want to lose 20 kg, set a goal of 4 kg per month. If you want to be able to run 8km, use an app to gradually increase your speed and endurance over time. When we break down big tasks into small parts, they suddenly seem feasible to us.
Step 2. Set reasonable deadlines
If you want to increase your willpower, you need to set deadlines for yourself. No one can achieve anything without a program. Set deadlines that you can reasonably reach and stick to them.
- For example, if you want to start exercising five days a week but aren't training at all right now, you will feel exhausted trying to reach your goal directly. Instead, set a schedule: You decide to train two days in the first week, three days in the next, then four, and finally five.
- Keep track of your successes. Buy a large calendar to post on your fridge or wall at home and write a note in the box about a day you hit it big. For example, on October 3 you write something like "I ran three miles today." Seeing your successes concretely can help you feel a sense of pride that will motivate you to continue.
Step 3. Make a plan
One technique that can help you when willpower is tested is to use an "execution intent" or an "if … then" phrase to deal with situations where you know you might be tempted.
- For example, you have made up your mind to give up on sugar but you are going to a birthday party and you know there will be a cake. Prepare your plan before the party: "If someone offers me a piece of cake, then I'll get a bowl of this fruit salad that I bring."
- Having a ready-made plan can reduce the strain on your willpower, as you've essentially already made the decision and don't need to fight your sugar cravings by the time you're tempted. This can work even if your self-control is in crisis.
Method 2 of 3: Stay Focused
Step 1. Don't shy away from responsibility
A key step in increasing your willpower is taking on a certain amount of personal responsibility. Do it about both your successes and your failures along the way to achieving your goals.
- Speaking out loud or writing about your actions can help. State what you did, why you did it, and how it made you feel. For example, you can say: "I felt stressed about the idea of the job that was waiting for me, so I decided to distract myself and watch television. I will strive to better manage my stress so that I can complete my task and achieve my goals instead of feeling lazy and disheartened”. You can also say something like: "I wrote two pages of my thesis today because I wanted to stay focused and that makes me feel productive and positive."
- Entrusting the responsibility solely to yourself requires an incredible dose of honesty. It also increases your ability to handle impulses and "look before you jump", as well as your overall sense of responsibility when you stop blaming external factors for what happens to you. This can help strengthen your will when you understand that you have the power to change things.
Step 2. Manage negative thoughts
Negative thoughts will inevitably arise along your path. You can take a setback as a signal that you will never be able to change or you may just hear a little voice in your head telling you that you will never succeed, breaking down. If you want to increase willpower, negativity is of no help because it makes you feel defeated and hopeless. While it is impossible to completely block negative thoughts, you can change the way you react and deal with them.
- Keep track of negative thoughts. Keeping a journal is useful in many ways; one thing you can do is record the negative thoughts that occur throughout the day. You will soon be able to identify any patterns in negative messages and begin investigating what generates them.
- When you identify a negative thought, such as "I am unable to achieve my goals", ask yourself whether it is true or not. Do this by looking at the hard evidence, not just what your negative internal voice is telling you. You can create two columns on a journal page, one for evidence "in favor" of the belief, the other for "against" evidence. In the "in favor" column, you might write, "I tried to go a month without sugar and couldn't. I feel like I'm not strong enough to change this habit." In the "against" column, you might write: "When I set smaller, more manageable goals, I manage to achieve them. When I take things day by day or week by week, I am very successful. In the past I have achieved several goals: to finish school, to achieve a pay raise and quitting smoking. It was probably unreasonable to think about giving up sugar all of a sudden since I love it so much. I have to try again, maybe using a different method."
- For a more in-depth look at negative thoughts and how to deal with them, check out this article.
Step 3. Be yourself
This means knowing your limits and setting reasonable goals. If you're trying to quit smoking, for example, it would obviously be great if you were able to quit out of the blue. But maybe you're not like that, maybe you still like to smoke and have been doing it for years. Instead of focusing on an ideal, such as the thought that you can just quit an addictive habit, perhaps you need to slowly taper off. This way you stay true to yourself as you prepare for success by setting goals based on knowing yourself.
Step 4. Reward yourself
It is important to stay focused and take responsibility for your actions. However, it is also important to know how to reward yourself for good behavior. No one has so much willpower that they can move forward without gratification from time to time.
- Build a reward system. If you're trying to lose weight, for example, promise yourself to buy a new piece of clothing every week you follow your diet and exercise program.
- Everyone has a system that works for them. Find something you like and a way to indulge in it from time to time. Working through occasional rewards means that you can keep moving towards your goal longer, resulting in greater willpower.
Method 3 of 3: Making Lifestyle Changes
Step 1. Develop good habits
Stress is one of the main enemies of willpower. When we are overworked and frustrated, we give in to behaviors that we should be fighting instead. By developing good personal habits we are more likely to stay on track when we are stressed.
- Incorporating certain activities, such as training and studying, into your daily routine can help combat stress. If activities that require willpower are seen as a necessary part of daily life, such as brushing your teeth before bed, you are less likely to shirk those duties when you feel stressed.
- In addition, people with good habits are less affected by stress. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, and enough sleep can help you feel less stress.
Step 2. Don't procrastinate
Procrastination can kill willpower. Postponing tasks that are seen as a burden makes us more likely not to do them at all. Avoid procrastinating as much as possible if you want to increase your willpower.
Procrastination is often rooted in perfectionism. People tend to put things off because they are stressed about not being able to do them perfectly. Understand that delaying work does not actually reduce this stress - it can actually increase it. It is better to get to work despite reservations than to mull over what we have to do
Step 3. Keep a journal
Writing in a journal can help increase willpower as you will be able to see a log of your progress. The setbacks will seem less severe when you compare them to your results. Suppose you gained 3 kg during the holidays - browsing your diary since you started the weight loss journey will remind you how far you have come.
Step 4. Search for support
Nobody can do it all. If you want to increase your willpower, seek the support of other people.
- For some specific tasks, such as quitting drinking or smoking, the ideal is to contact a support group; inquire at your ASL or do a search on the internet.
- Talk to your friends and family about what you are trying to achieve. Ask them to support you along the way. For example, if you are trying to reduce your alcohol consumption, ask your family not to drink in front of you.
