Crying in front of someone who yells at you is not a pleasant experience. It's embarrassing and could damage your reputation at work, school, or family. Of course, crying is a normal human reaction, but in some situations it is necessary to hold back the tears. So what can you do in these cases? If you tend to cry easily, there are some tricks that allow you to keep your emotions (and tears) in check. Also, you should learn to calm down after crying. You can avoid numerous problems in the future by resorting to various conflict management techniques.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Hold Back Tears
Step 1. Pinch the flap of skin that joins the thumb and forefinger
Give it a nice pinch in this spot. Squeeze it enough to hurt you, but not too much to hurt you. The distraction caused by the pain will not cause you to cry.
You can also pinch yourself on the nose bridge. This way, you will prevent tears from leaking out of the tear ducts
Step 2. Take a few deep breaths
When you feel that your agitation is about to take over, take a few long, slow breaths. You will force the body to calm down and get distracted by the screams of the person who is yelling at you. It may be enough to keep you from crying.
Step 3. Look the other way
Set your eyes on something other than the person screaming. Focus on your desk, hands, or other object nearby. By not looking into her eyes, you will be able to keep a cool head.
Step 4. Take a step back
Take some distance from the person who yells at you by backing away or returning to your chair. As you take control of your physical space, you will feel less vulnerable and remove the urge to cry.
Step 5. Apologize and walk away
If you are unable to hold back the tears, don't hesitate to walk away. If you can, find an excuse, like you're not feeling well. You can also tell your interlocutor that you are too agitated to continue the discussion. Go to a place away from prying eyes to calm down.
- Say, "I'm too tense to have a productive conversation with you. I need to get some fresh air, but let's get back to that later."
- Usually, the bathroom is a safe place to retreat to under these circumstances.
- Taking a walk to clear your head is also a great solution. A little physical movement will help you get the situation under control.
Part 2 of 3: Calm yourself down
Step 1. Look for some privacy
Go by car, to your office, to a closet, or to any place where no one can disturb you. If you need to cry, let it out. Give yourself plenty of time until you are calm.
If you have already started crying but want to stop, know that you may resume shortly after
Step 2. Relieves eye swelling
Dab some cold water under the eyes to make the redness and swelling go away. You can also use an ice cube wrapped in a napkin.
If you are at home and not in a hurry, wrap a packet of frozen peas in a tea towel and place it on your face or place cold green tea bags over your eyes
Step 3. Put on the eye drops
Use it to get rid of redness. Apply a drop or two in each eye. They should clear up after 10-15 minutes.
- If you cry frequently, don't use the eye drops too often. In fact, it could make your eyes red if you abuse it. It will be enough a couple of times a week.
- If you use contact lenses, be sure to choose suitable eye drops.
Step 4. Fix the trick
If you wear makeup, take a minute to touch it up. Dry what has melted in the eye area and the rest of the smudges. Use foundation or concealer to hide redness. Finish by touching up your mascara, blush, or whatever else you need to make the traces of crying disappear.
If you tend to cry often, you may want to keep a spare cosmetic bag in your desk drawers or purse
Part 3 of 3: Learning to Manage Conflicts
Step 1. Don't hesitate to tell others that you cry easily
If you can't hold back the tears, prevent certain problems from happening by talking to your boss, colleagues, friends and family. Make it clear that this is not a big deal and explain how they can react in these cases.
For example, you might say, "I have a tendency to cry easily, so don't worry if that happens. It's normal. I try to control myself, but if it happens, I just need a few minutes to calm down."
Step 2. Talk to the person who yelled at you
Once you have calmed down, ask her if you can speak privately. Fix the problem and apologize if you made a mistake. Then explain how you felt when she yelled at you and politely ask her to talk to you more quietly in the future.
For example, try saying, "I get very upset when people yell at me, that's why I had a hard time finding a solution to our problem. The next time we're faced with a similar situation, can we talk more calmly?"
Step 3. Ask yourself why you tend to cry when you come into conflict with someone
Ask yourself how it feels when someone yells at you. If you can trace the triggers, you will be able to find strategies to overcome the tension of the moment.
- For example, if the adrenaline takes over, you can hit a stress ball to release tension.
- If you feel helpless when someone yells at you, remember that there is another human being in front of you who makes mistakes and probably doesn't have the right to yell at you.
Step 4. Come up with some other strategies
Think about what you might do or say next time someone unleashes their anger at you. Imagine staying calm while making use of new behavioral strategies.
For example, if your boss tends to raise his voice often, imagine saying, "I'm sorry he's not satisfied, but I'll find a solution. In the meantime, though, I struggle to concentrate on what he is saying while yelling. We can discuss this more. quietly later?"
Step 5. Find a healthier way to manage stress
If you suffer from chronic stress, you probably tend to cry in stressful situations. By keeping it under control, you will be able to avoid this inconvenience. Find something relaxing to do on a daily basis to keep tension at bay.
For example, to cope with stress in a healthy way, you could practice yoga, meditate, call a friend, take a walk in the fresh air, or listen to some relaxing music. Try these remedies when you feel stressed or overwhelmed
Step 6. Consult a psychotherapist
If crying is affecting your relationships or affecting your performance at school or work, you should consult a mental health professional to find out what is happening to you. It can help you understand why you cry frequently and find a way to stop.
Step 7. You could also try talking to a friend if you are not comfortable with a therapist
By explaining your problem to those who love you, you may more easily open up and understand what is happening to you. You won't be able to spot your difficulties if you don't confide in them. If you have sincere friends, they will try to support you and console you instead of sitting around watching you suffer.
