How to Find Good Conversation Topics

2024 Author: Samantha Chapman | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 09:13

Getting to know other people is a very common activity in our daily life. Even if you're comfortable with people, there have probably been occasions when you didn't know what to say and wondered what to introduce into the conversation. By making a mental list of possible topics, you will never feel anxious again because you don't know how to continue an argument. Just find a winning idea and continue with that.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Learn the Easiest Ways to Start a Conversation

Step 1. Talk about the other person

The most important aspect of becoming good at dialogue is simply allowing your interlocutor to talk about themselves. Because? It is a very familiar subject to him, which should put him at ease. Try these tactics:

• Ask for his opinion. You could tie the question to what's happening in the room, current events, or whatever else you want to talk about.
• Dig into the person's "life stories", for example ask them where they come from, where they grew up and so on.

Step 2. Prepare different ways of breaking the ice according to the degree of familiarity you have with the interlocutor

The type of questions you can ask depends on how well you know a person. Here are some tips for two types of people you will happen to talk to:

• People you know well:

  ask how she is doing, if something interesting has happened in the last week, how her work or study project is going, how her children are doing, and if she has recently seen any TV shows she recommends.

• People you know but haven't seen for a long time:

  ask what has happened in their life since the last time you met, find out if they always do the same job and if they live in the same place, ask how their children are and find out if they have had others; maybe ask if they've seen mutual friends recently.

Step 3. Remember the topics to avoid

Follow the old rule: never talk about religion, politics, money, romantic relationships, family problems, health problems, or sex with people you don't know well. The risk of saying something offensive is too high, so stay away from such areas; often these are also topics with a strong emotional charge.

Step 4. Find out about the other person's interests and hobbies

People are complex: they have different interests, preferences, aversions and hobbies. You can ask many questions about the passions of your interlocutor and almost all of them will allow you to develop a conversation. Try the following ideas:

• Do you play or follow any sports?
• Do you like surfing the internet?
• What do you like reading?
• What do you do in your free time?
• What kind of music do you like?
• What genres of films do you prefer?
• What are your favorite TV shows?
• What's your favorite card or board game?
• Do you like animals? What is your favorite animal?

Step 5. Talk about the family

The safest way is to discuss the brothers and ask for general information (for example, the city of origin). Make sure you respond enthusiastically to encourage your interlocutor to share more information. Parents can be a sensitive subject for people who have had problems in childhood, have separated parents, or have recently suffered a bereavement. Speaking of children can make couples who have fertility problems or disagreements about having children uncomfortable, or people who want to have children but haven't found the right person or situation. Some questions you can ask include:

• Do you have any brothers? How many?
• (If he has no siblings) What was it like growing up as an only child?
• (If he has siblings) What are their names?
• How old are they?
• What are they doing? (Change the question based on their age. Do they go to school or have a job?)
• Are you alike?
• Do you have similar characters?
• Where did you grow up?

Step 6. Ask questions about your interlocutor's trips

Ask him what places he has visited. Even if he has never left his hometown, he will probably be happy to talk about the places he would like to go. More specifically, you might ask:

• If you had the opportunity to move to another country, which one would you choose and why?
• Of all the cities in the world that you have visited, which one is your favorite?
• Where did you go on vacation last time? Did you have fun?
• What is the holiday you remember most willingly?

Step 7. Ask questions about food and drink

Food is often the best topic, because there is a possibility that your interlocutor has had problems with alcohol or is a teetotaler. Be careful not to divert the conversation about diets or attempts to lose weight - it can turn the discussion into a negative turn. Ask instead:

• If you could only eat one dish for the rest of your life, which one would you choose?
• What's your favorite restaurant?
• Do you like cooking?
• Which desserts do you like best?
• Tell me about the worst experience you have had in a restaurant.

Step 8. Ask questions about the job

This topic can be tricky, because the conversation can turn into a job interview. But if you can juggle carefully, staying short and concise, the discussion can become interesting. Don't forget that your interlocutor could be a student, retiree or unemployed person. Here are some sentences with which you can introduce the topic:

• What do you do for living? Where do you work (or study)?
• What was your first job?
• Who was the boss you remember most willingly?
• When you were a child, what were your dreams?
• What do you like most about your job?
• If you didn't have a problem with money, but still had to work, what would your dream job be?

Step 9. Find out why you are in the same place

If you've never met that person before, there are many secrets to reveal about the reasons that led you to the same event. Ask questions such as:

• How do you know the landlord?
• How did you get involved in this event?
• How do you find the time to attend events like this?

Step 10. Offer a sincere compliment

Try to choose an action to enjoy, rather than a natural trait of the person; will allow you to continue the conversation with questions about his ability. If you told your interlocutor that he has beautiful eyes, you would receive a simple thank you in response and the dialogue would end there. Make sure you are enthusiastic when giving a compliment, so that the other person understands that you are sincere. Here are some phrases you can use:

• I enjoyed your piano performance very much. How long have you been playing?
• You seemed very confident in your speech. Where did you learn to create such successful presentations?
• Your ride was absolutely wonderful. How many times do you train a week?

Part 2 of 3: Lengthening the Conversation

Step 1. Deal with light topics

You cannot expect miracles to happen during the first contact with a person; you can only hope to create a basic bond. The best way to do this is to only deal with interesting and fun concepts; it can also be useful to insert moments of humor.

• Avoid talking about problems in your life or other negative situations. If you have noticed that people look around embarrassed when it comes to similar topics, this is because hardly anyone expects to face serious situations or problems in an informal setting.
• Many people try to discuss only polite, interesting and light topics; negative comments can really spoil the mood, bringing the conversation to an untimely end.

Step 2. Don't feel compelled to break the silence

Silence doesn't have to be embarrassing - it allows you to develop an opinion about the other person or think about topics of conversation that they may enjoy. Give both of you a moment to breathe and take a break.

Silence can become embarrassing if you try to break it because it worries you or because it makes you nervous

Step 3. Share common interests

For example, if you find that both of you enjoy running, take the time to discuss this passion that binds you. But remember that sooner or later you will have to change the subject. A 45-minute conversation about running can get awkward.

• Discuss other people who share your interests and their achievements. For example, you may both know who won the marathon from the previous year, and one of you may be telling the other what that person is doing after their victory.
• Talk about equipment, equipment, techniques and ideas in the field of common interest.
• Suggest new things that both of you could try, perhaps proposing to see each other to do it together.

Part 3 of 3: Pushing the Limits

Step 1. Introduce a new direction with a hypothetical sentence

This approach may seem strange to you at first, but if you try it you will realize how effective it is in moving conversations forward. Here are some questions that prompt reflection and open new avenues for discussion:

• Considering everything you have accomplished so far, what is the most important to you or what has benefited your community the most?
• If you could be rich, famous or powerful, which option would you choose and why?
• Is it the best time of your life?
• If you could only have 10 things, what would you choose?
• If you had to choose only five foods and two drinks to consume for the rest of your life, what would you choose?
• Do you believe that people create their happiness or find it by accident?
• What would you do if you could wear an invisibility ring?
• Do you believe in fate?
• If you could become an animal, which one would you choose?
• Who is your favorite superhero and why?
• You can invite five historical figures to your home for dinner. Which ones do you choose?
• If you won 100 million euros in the superenalotto, how would you spend it?
• If you could become famous for a week, what would you want to be known for? Or which famous person would you like to be?
• Do you still believe in Santa Claus?
• Could you live without the internet?
• What's your dream vacation?

Step 2. Take note of the questions that lead to the best answers in your conversations

Reuse "winning" tactics whenever you can.

Likewise, remember topics that make people uncomfortable or bored and avoid them in the future

Step 3. Find out about current events

Find out what happens in the world and try to ask your interlocutor what he thinks about the last important news you read (always remember that it is better to avoid politics).

Remember the funniest stories that can make people laugh and ask your interlocutor if he knows any

Step 4. Practice being concise

Finding good conversation topics is very important in making a discussion interesting, but you shouldn't neglect the way you convey your message. Make sure you get to the point, without making rounds of meaningless words.

Try not to digress too long or you will risk losing the attention of your interlocutor

Advice

• Do not list all the questions recommended in the article as if you were reading a shopping list: you would make your interlocutor feel under interrogation.
• If this is your first time talking to that person, try introducing topics related to something that is happening around you, rather than talking about seemingly random subjects.
• Be friendly and don't insult anyone.
• If you are in a group, make sure everyone feels included. You can't just talk to one person and expect everyone else to silently observe your conversation; the situation would become rather embarrassing.
• Use creativity.
• Listen carefully to the answers to the questions you ask, looking for new conversation topics.
• Think before you speak: you cannot retract what you said. Also, people remember conversations they had with you, so don't be grumpy if you don't want to be remembered negatively.
• A good way to keep a conversation going is to take turns asking questions. Do not subject the other person to a quiz and do not turn the discussion into a competition for who asks the best question.
• If you are talking to a person for the first time, avoid sarcasm if they are not the first to use it. However, you shouldn't overdo it - nobody likes too much sarcasm.
• Listen carefully and try to bond with your interlocutor. After he answers your question, tell about your experience that relates to something he said, or answer the question yourself, even if he hasn't asked for your opinion.
• Find out about current events. Read newspapers and browse websites to discover the most interesting stories of the day.
• Avoid "one-word replies" (Yes, No, Ok), as they bring the conversation to a standstill.
• If you meet someone new, try to learn their name. It will seem easy to you, but it isn't. Try saying his name in your mind five consecutive times when you introduce yourself.