Meditation, strangely, can be frustrating. Why does this practice that is supposed to relax you, calm your nerves and relieve stress actually confuse you? What should you meditate on? If you set up the meditation session following the right techniques and with an adequate mental approach, you can start meditating deeply by stopping wondering if you are doing it "right".
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Finding a Quiet Place
Step 1. Choose a place in the house that is particularly quiet
It would be better if you could find a room with a door and away from areas frequented by children or outside traffic.
Step 2. Get a straight-backed chair, or put a cushion on the floor
The ideal place shouldn't be too comfortable to the point of falling asleep, but still comfortable enough for you to be able to sit for at least 20 to 30 minutes.
Step 3. Make sure there is light natural light in the room
Low lighting can help relax the mind, so consider putting candles or lamps instead of fluorescent lights.
Step 4. Establish a time of day that allows you to detach yourself from other activities
You can decide to dedicate time to this practice early in the morning or in the evening, when the children are asleep and the phone hardly rings.
Part 2 of 4: Practice Meditation
Step 1. Sit on the cushion or chair you have prepared
Find a comfortable position that allows you to sit still for 20 minutes or more.
- Do some back stretches before starting if you have been sitting all day. Rotate your torso to the left and right from a sitting position, or engage in cat / cow yoga and baby yoga to release tension and make focusing on meditation easier.
- Relax your shoulders. Lift them up to your ears as you inhale, then drop them down. Keep your back very straight and place your hands in your lap. Zazen meditation involves placing the left hand over the right one, palms facing upwards and keeping the left thumb on top of the right thumb, as if trying to support an egg. In this way the hands and thumbs should outline a circular shape that symbolically reflects the infinite and also the unconscious: your non-dominant side is now allowed to reveal itself.
Step 2. Close your eyes or focus on a white wall
Some people have a hard time meditating with their eyes open, while others have a hard time meditating with their eyes closed because they sometimes get overwhelmed by sleepiness.
Consider actively focusing on "nothing". You don't have to look at the white wall, but through the wall. Blink when you feel the need
Step 3. Focus on your breathing
Most meditation involves no more complicated actions than just sitting quietly and breathing when you reach a deep state of mind. In its simplicity, however, meditation is very complex. Start counting down from ten. Focus on counting to calm your mind. If you have more time and this practice helps you, you can start counting from 50 or 100.
- Inhale deeply as you count to 8, hold your breath for 2-4 seconds and then exhale as you count to 8 again. Maintain this rhythm for 2 minutes.
- Pay attention to the sensation of the air entering and leaving the body. Imagine the oxygen filling the body and spreading into the bloodstream. Feel the oxygen penetrating the whole body without losing focus on breathing.
Part 3 of 4: Maintain Focus
Step 1. Observe your thoughts
One of the hardest parts of meditation when you are just starting out is facing the question of what to do. You are seated, you breathe with awareness … and then? Over time, as you practice this practice you will find that thoughts arise spontaneously in the mind and, as they came, they go away. You might focus on whether you need to pick up the kids, what to make for dinner, or some problem that comes up all the time at work. Instead of identifying with these thoughts and allowing them to occupy your mind and state of awareness, imagine them as fish swimming in a pond. Watch them go out and into your mind.
By distancing yourself from your individuality and your being, you are able to detach yourself from your thinking "I", that is, from that part of the mind that gives rise to these thoughts. If you allow thoughts to flow into your mind, without losing focus on your breathing, you can observe them and let them go
Step 2. Don't fight
Awareness must be perceived more as an energy than a thought, and it is very difficult both to describe and to prove. This is why meditation is a practice - and that zazen goes far beyond just "sitting". What do meditation masters and Zen monks do? They just sit.
Recognize that thoughts drift between the various events in life and the things around you, but do not try to bring your mind back to a concept of "awareness" that you have imposed on yourself and that you are convinced of. When you start meditating it will often happen that the mind gets "distracted", and this can be extremely frustrating
Step 3. Be aware of the "panoramic effect"
In an old Monty Python sketch there are two men lost in the desert. At some point they begin to crawl on all fours as the vultures rotate above them. They are desperate for water until one of them looks directly into the camera and says: "Wait a minute!". At this point the camera reverses making a pan and reveals the entire film crew with a catering service available to all. The two men start to eat and before it's too late the whole crew is wandering in the desert, desperate for lack of water, until one person says: "Wait a minute!" and the whole process starts all over again.
Your mind works the same way. As you observe your thoughts you may be thinking, "Wait a second, but who is watching the thoughts?". This phenomenon becomes a frustrating battle in your mind, and is very common in people who believe that meditation is just "sitting". Focus on your breathing, this is also just a thought, observe it and let it go
Step 4. Embrace yourself
By distancing yourself from thoughts and observing them, letting the mind and body exist as well as the breath, you then allow your true nature to exist without controlling it. You are learning non-attachment to your ego and to embrace and love your true nature.
Part 4 of 4: Concluding the Meditation
Step 1. Return to your physical body
Bring awareness back to your physicality by feeling the parts touching the chair and the floor.
Step 2. Try spending two minutes appreciating time, silence and peace
A positive mental process can improve your mood for the rest of the day.
Step 3. Plan your time for daily meditation
Stick to the schedule and you will find that the practice will become easier and easier.
