Meditating without guidance is not easy, but many people meditate and learn to do it for themselves every day. Moreover, those who are able to teach are quite rare and even if they are available, they have often already planned other engagements and meetings. Although history has generally rewarded those who have meditated alone, taking this journey without support is somewhat challenging. However, with dignity, trust and compassion, meditation can be done by anyone and without the need for a teacher.
Steps
Step 1. Practice figuring out where you want to go with meditation
You can't plan ahead and wait for it to happen; however knowing which direction you want to go or what you want to achieve with meditation is a good start. A common mistake of many beginners is to infer that meditation has only one goal. This is a misconception, because meditation can have many different purposes, including awareness, understanding, calm, energy creation, healing, a path to happiness and self-realization. There are also meditations that help the individual go through difficult times in life, such as overcoming abuse, addiction, suffering and stress, to ensure long-term mental health, such as a focus on awareness and understanding. There are also meditations to cultivate love, compassion, peace and the search for spiritual enlightenment. Ask yourself these questions:
- Are you looking for relaxation?
- Are you looking to improve concentration?
- Are you trying to develop intuition and understanding?
- Do you want to try to feel better in spirit?
- Are you looking for inner peace?
Step 2. Find out
The web is full of great articles and practical answers on meditation; the library or bookstores in your city are certainly stocked with good books on the subject. Reading can give you answers to questions about the benefits and purposes of this practice, as well as suggest many ways to approach it. To get started look online and for books that offer a wide range of information, so as not to stick to your own idea of meditation and to give you the opportunity to try out different styles of this practice. You may also find that you want to meditate to achieve different goals at different times throughout the week; be open-minded and don't rule out anything.
There are advantages and disadvantages to this type of reading. The advantage is that you get a good idea of the different methods and styles to try, as well as find lots of tips and tricks on how to improve. The downside is that you risk creating too many expectations that don't always come true. You may also think that it is a subject too far from your thinking and / or feeling and you may become uncomfortable with this practice, and in this case meditation would become an immediate obstacle. If you can avoid creating too many expectations about the benefits it can offer you, then this practice can become a lot easier
Step 3. Give yourself time
Unfortunately, many people do not allow themselves the time necessary for meditation or do not choose a good time to practice it. Ideally, the best times are early in the morning or late in the evening, when the surrounding environment is usually more peaceful and quiet and you can relax properly. Alternatively, choose any time of day when there is calm and tranquility around for an extended period; perhaps the only truly peaceful moment is when the children are at school or on a lunch break and everyone is out of the office. If you watch TV, listen to music or read exciting novels when you come home from work or school, your mind can be overloaded, or exhausted, so these are not the right times to meditate.
- In terms of amount of time, set 10 - 15 minutes at the beginning and gradually increase to about 45 minutes with each session. Of course, sometimes you won't have much time, but if you can guarantee yourself some time, however short, it's more important than counting the minutes.
- It is wise to dedicate a weekend or a few days to yourself when you start meditating. This way, you can enjoy undisturbed time and give your experience full attention.
- A good recommendation, if you are feeling particularly stiff or are in pain due to an injury or injury, is to do some light muscle stretching first and then the meditation session.
Step 4. Keep in mind that simple relaxation is also a form of meditation
Many people actually meditate without knowing it. When you relax with a cup of tea, paint a picture or go outdoors and feel relaxed in the sun or look at the birds in the garden, you are basically meditating. When the mind becomes calmer, or you feel a sense of connection with the outside world in general, you are meditating. Sometimes it doesn't take a lot of time, but meditation happens simply because you're not straining or trying to make it happen at all costs.
Step 5. Prepare some ground rules
Organize a ritual of the actions you do before, during, and after the meditation, as well as something to do in case any distress should arise. Another useful rule is to focus on something, such as breathing, observing the mind, sensations or an image, such as a flower and so on to maintain concentration. If you have no structure or object to focus on, meditation is probably more challenging.
Aim from time to time to meditate without music, or any other external device you use to relax, so you can learn to meditate anywhere, with or without aids
Step 6. Find a place to meditate
It should be anywhere where you feel safe and comfortable and quiet. If you live in a house with other people or in a noisy environment where there is little space or silence, go elsewhere. You could ask a friend or relative to give you an available room, or you can book a club or studio in a library or recreation center in your country. You can find an empty office at work or an empty classroom at your school. When the weather permits, you can stay in the garden, under a gazebo or in other outdoor structures where you can stay away from people and confusion for some time.
Step 7. Choose your posture carefully
Very often we see images of people in the yoga position of the lotus, with a deeply peaceful appearance. Very few people actually manage to stand correctly in this position without long training and, in general, few people can even stand for a long time. Instead, the ideal is to sit with your legs bent in a comfortable position or in a chair with your feet on the ground. Keep your head straight and your chest open in a relaxed way.
- If you lie down, try getting on your side or in a position where you don't fall asleep.
- You can also stand upright, with your knees bent (not locked) and your chest and head upright, it's a dignified posture.
- You can also walk at a slow pace, walking slowly in a large circle (so you don't get dizzy), or walking back and forth in a linear path.
Step 8. Begin your relaxation practice and remove all distractions
To relax, squeeze and release muscle groups, or imagine a quiet scene. You can listen to soft music if that helps. You can also use your breath to calm down and relax your body. Mindfulness of the breath is an important aspect of meditation because it reduces stress, focuses your attention and deepens your awareness.
There are most likely times when meditation is just letting go of thoughts and feelings when the mind cannot relax. This way of meditating can seem very frustrating, causing you anxiety or depression, especially if you compare it to a more peaceful or enjoyable previous session. But if you approach these episodes with the idea that you can still learn something even during this meditation, simply by observing the mind, it can become a very productive session and give you much more benefit in the long term, as you can learn to understand why the your mind has failed to relax and analyze what you can do about it
Step 9. Adjust your meditation to achieve the goal you are trying to achieve
As explained above, there are many goals you can set for yourself with this practice. Once you've made it clear what you want to achieve, find ways to achieve it. For instance:
- If you want to improve concentration, gently focus on an object, such as a disc of colored paper, a bowl of water, a flower, a candle, or a photo of something that inspires you. You can also count each breath to ten and then start over to maintain focus.
- If you want to develop intuition, start observing how all the little things that happen happen. Let them flow like water, so as not to drown in an idea or a feeling. Be aware of everything that happens to you. Eventually you will be able to observe every action of the mind and understand what it is and then learn what you can do with it for your well-being in the long run.
- If you want to feel better, focus on the images or project an image of goodness, acceptance, forgiveness, compassion and appreciation. Try to imagine a healing energy or a light inside your mind and let it flow through your body and mind, to relieve any discomfort.
Step 10. Be consistent in practice
Meditation is effective when you practice it regularly. Regularity helps you develop greater strength, awareness and confidence. The more you practice, the more you get results. Choose the right moments to be constant in the program and evaluate how much you need to meditate according to your needs: if once a day or two, if once a week or two or even once a month, if you have difficulty starting.
Step 11. Never miss an opportunity to relax, or just be kind to yourself by letting things flow
If you see that thoughts assail you, go back to focusing on your object and let go of the distraction, go back to what you are doing each time. This gets easier as you practice.
Step 12. Evaluate each session once it is finished
Was it good or bad? Because? Try to understand the cause of each negative experience so that you can address the problem, or prevent it from happening next time. Patience is the key to a satisfying and productive meditation practice.
There is a rather profound metaphor that you can consider: "Don't chew bones". This means that you don't get any nutrition from eating bones, unlike a balanced meal. So, if you have to feed your pet bone only, he won't be very healthy or happy. Try to understand if you are trying to force feed yourself on the bones during meditation and find ways to improve the experience with a more "nutritious" purpose
Advice
- If thoughts and feelings continue to distract you during meditation, don't think you have failed when it happens. It is normal for you to be challenged (no one is perfect), so this is always the time to take the opportunity to understand what you are seeing.
- Be kind to yourself.
- If you start feeling a feeling of alarm or fear, just admit to yourself that you feel this way, there is nothing wrong with that. You can work to let go of fear by learning about what you see.
- If the mind projects images it does not mean that you have met the Buddha, God, Jesus or other deities. They are just visions of a part of your mind.
- Try other methods once you are confident and comfortable with some tried and tested technique. If not, stick to something certain for a couple of months and gradually develop the practice in new ways that you feel are right for you.
- Take it easy. It may seem like a word repeated automatically, but one is always a little tense when one begins to assume an unknown posture.
- While practicing, listen to soothing and relaxing music.
Warnings
- Don't forget: all mental images, thoughts and sensations come from your mind. They cannot harm you, unless you allow it yourself.
- Talk to someone you trust, you don't necessarily have to be alone. Other people who meditate are an excellent resource of shared experiences.
- Don't force yourself. The mind often tends to wander for a long time so you need to try to keep it focused. It can block you in many ways to keep you from seeing how it really works. She is an exceptional manipulator (the mind knows all the tricks). Be kind to yourself for this very reason.
