It is normal that you love your friends. But how can you be sure that what you are feeling is not actually love? Sometimes it is difficult to tell the difference between a platonic friendship and a feeling of a different nature. If you feel confused, take some time to analyze the situation. Think about the times you've been in love. Also consider your priorities. What do you look for in a partner? Do you want to try to take the relationship to the next level? There are various ways to understand this without risking jeopardizing a friendship.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Carefully Analyze Your Friendship
Step 1. Assess the intensity of your feelings
Think about how strong what you are feeling is. It is possible to feel the same emotions for both a friend and a person you are in love with, but in the latter case they could be quite intense! Typically, the more transport you feel for a person, the more likely it is to be in love.
For example, you may feel a particular complicity with a friend because you both laugh at the same jokes and have no difficulty speaking. When you love someone, these feelings are so intense that they make you feel excited or high
Step 2. Note your physical reactions
Your body can help you understand what you are feeling. When you are with the person you like, your heart may be pounding or you may feel "butterflies in your stomach". You can even get agitated or nervous. When you go out with a simple friend, you don't sweat and you don't start laughing hysterically.
- You are certainly excited when you have to meet up with a friend. However, you won't notice major physical changes when you see him or hug him.
- On the other hand, when you are in the company of the person you are in love with, you are probably unable to control the way you physically react. The hands may begin to sweat, the voice trembles and the heartbeat becomes faster.
Step 3. Compare this relationship to the others
Reflect on the differences that exist in your interpersonal relationships. You probably have many friends, but only one person has won your heart enough to make you consider the relationship born between you more important than the others. Maybe you also get the impression that your understanding is more intense.
Maybe you can't imagine a day without contacting her. With a friend, you probably don't mind if you go a week or two without seeing each other, instead this time gap might feel like an eternity with the person you're in love with
Part 2 of 3: Decide What You Want
Step 1. Find out if you'd like to start a romance
You can determine whether the feeling you have is love or friendship by reflecting on the attention you give to the other person. If you are in love, you tend to think about her often and don't want to lose touch. It probably doesn't happen with a friend, nor do you want to talk to them every moment.
- You might think of a friend when something happens during the day that reminds you of it: for example, you hear a song that you both like or you find yourself in a situation that reminds you of an experience with him.
- When you love someone, you think about them all day, whether there is something you remember them or not. You may even find yourself daydreaming about her.
Step 2. Think about how you would like to be viewed
Are you happy with the way he treats you? For example, if he greets you by giving you a high five, ask yourself if you'd like a more intimate gesture. Maybe you would like to receive more text messages. If you don't hear from a friend all day, you aren't as disappointed as you do when you don't hear from the person you like.
If you are thrilled to hear from a friend often during the day or have butterflies in your stomach as soon as you see their name appear on your phone display, it may be that you want another kind of relationship
Step 3. Talk to a friend or family member
It is not easy to be objective about one's love life. So, try talking to someone you trust, like a friend or sibling. It may offer you an outside point of view on how she behaves towards you and let you know if it is love or just friendship.
For example, he might notice if the other person looks in your direction when you're not paying attention, but even if he often talks about you when you're not together - another clue that he doesn't see you as just a friend
Step 4. Reflect on your feelings
It is not easy to understand one's emotions, indeed it is necessary to make a profound inner analysis to understand them. To know if your feeling is love or friendship, you need to be honest with yourself about how you feel about the other person.
Make a list to keep track of how you feel throughout the week. Write about how you feel when you are together or think about her. For example, you might note that you were excited when he called you or flustered when you met
Step 5. Keep a journal
Find a few minutes a day to write down how you interact with the people around you. This exercise could help you understand if your behavior changes when you are with the person you like. You may also find out if he treats you as a friend or with a different interest.
Try to reflect on individual situations. For example, think about when you saw her talking to someone and reflect on how you felt. Were you jealous? Completely indifferent?
Part 3 of 3: Carrying the Relationship Forward
Step 1. Be confident
You may be nervous about evolving your relationship. It's normal! However, try to have faith in yourself. This way, you will find the right words to say and understand how to behave.
Encourage yourself with a speech. Try saying, "I am a fun and caring person. Roberto should wish he could be with me."
Step 2. Flirt
You can test the waters by flirting lightly with the person you care about. Start by looking her in the eye for a second longer than you normally would. You can also pay more attention to her. If you are in a group of friends, chat mainly with her.
Touch it casually. Place your hand on his as you laugh at a joke
Step 3. Change your language
Usually, friends talk confidentially and, therefore, may adopt nicknames such as "friend" or "brother". If you find yourself using these terms, check yourself. There is nothing strange about friendships, but try to call the person you like by name.
Step 4. Invite her out
Be direct and ask her for an appointment. You will never know if you look good together if you don't try to go out with her. Be honest and open. Make it clear that you are proposing to spend some time alone.
You might say, "I'd like to spend some time with you. Would you like to have dinner with me on Friday night?"
Step 5. Accept his answer
If they don't reciprocate your feelings, you may feel bad, rejected, and resentful. However, try to understand that she doesn't want to hurt you, she just wants to be honest with you. Don't make her feel guilty because your love isn't reciprocated. If you're not sure what to say, try expressing yourself in the following ways:
- "Thank you for your sincerity. I was hoping for a different ending, but I understand that you cannot reciprocate what I feel for you."
- "I appreciate your honesty. I would like to remain your friend, but I hope you understand that I will need some time to digest this situation."
