Love can be complicated, and sometimes feelings of jealousy emerge, whether intentionally aroused or not. If a guy tries to make you jealous on purpose, you will need to take action to stop that behavior without further complicating your relationship. There are some basic behaviors to consider in every situation, but bearing in mind that the correct way will vary depending on your relationship with the guy in question, whether it's the guy you have a crush on, your boyfriend or your boyfriend. former.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Dealing with a Guy You Like
Step 1. Evaluate the actions in context
When a guy you have a crush on makes you jealous, you may wonder if he's doing it by accident or on purpose; if you don't already ask yourself that question, you should. The guy may flirt with others in your presence to get your attention, but it is also possible that he is naturally so and does so for no other purpose.
- Such a situation usually occurs when the guy in question flirts with you and other girls. It can be hard to tell if he really likes you or if he's flirting anyway, so to figure out if he likes you more than the others, ask yourself if there's a difference in how he flirts with you versus when he flirts with others.
- For example, when you meet him in the hallway, pay attention to where he looks. If he looks at you right away, that might be a good sign; on the contrary, if he looks at another woman and hardly considers you, or does not consider you at all, it is probably a bad sign.
- Try not to assume that a guy who constantly talks about his girlfriend in front of you is doing it with the intent of making you jealous, because he may be really madly in love with her and is just telling you. However, if he is actually using his girlfriend to make you jealous and arouse romantic feelings in you, the lack of loyalty and respect that such behavior implies should be a wake-up call that warns you to stay away from a potentially harmful person.
Step 2. Be honest about your feelings
If you think the guy you like is really trying to make you jealous, the best thing to do is tell him how you feel. There is a certain likelihood that his actions are caused by your insecurity, so letting him know that you reciprocate the feelings of attraction can solve the problem.
- Obviously, this is easier said than done and you run the risk of being rejected when you tell them you want to hang out with them; even if that were the case, setting the record straight is the only way to fix a problem before it gets worse.
- Wait until the next time you find yourself flirting in a private, private setting to tell him you're interested in more, but wait for his response before deciding how to deal with jealousy.
Step 3. Point out the problem
The problem of jealousy must be addressed regardless of whether the guy reciprocates your feelings or not, but how to deal with it depends on his response.
- If the guy you have a crush on intends to date you, let him know in a casual and playful way that he should limit himself to flirting only with you; avoid making him feel guilty, but make it clear that you don't want him flirting with other girls.
- If the guy is cold or doesn't want to date you, politely ask him to stop flirting with you. A guy who flirts without wanting to commit is just playing with your feelings, so it's not good for either of you to continue like this.
Step 4. Forget if things don't work out
If the guy you have a crush on doesn't change after you tell him your feelings and raise the issue, you'd better end the relationship.
- Starting a relationship with a guy who doesn't stop flirting is likely to lead to continued frustration and insecurity that will damage the relationship in the long run.
- Maintaining a friendship by taking a one-sided crush is always difficult, but if the guy continues his attitude even knowing it, the best thing for yourself to do is let it go.
Method 2 of 3: Dealing with a Boyfriend
Step 1. Discuss your feelings
Explain to your boyfriend how certain recent actions of his make you feel, trying to define which behaviors are acceptable and which are not.
- Chances are your boyfriend doesn't really want to make you jealous and just doesn't realize that his interactions with another girl are hurting you, so by telling him you can help limit that behavior in the future.
- If he makes you jealous on purpose, it's probably because he has his own insecurities about the relationship. Having an open discussion about the subject can give both of you a chance to address the issue and your boyfriend a way to reassure you about his feelings.
Step 2. Stay calm
You need to stay calm before, during and after the argument, not explode when your boyfriend says or does something that makes you jealous.
- Talk about your feelings in the first person by saying, for example, "I feel that …", rather than using accusatory expressions such as "You make me feel …".
- If this is truly a misunderstanding, by staying calm you will settle things more completely and minimize conflict.
- However, if your boyfriend intentionally teases you, getting mad at him will only give him the reaction he wants, so instead of reacting the way he expects, stay calm and act like a mature person when arguing. If he continues to do this even after you point out the problem, he may have a dangerous tendency to manipulate and at that point it would be in your best interest to end the relationship.
Step 3. Reassure him
It often happens that a guy tries to make you jealous because he feels insecure about your feelings for him; his insecurity does not justify such behavior, but it makes it more understandable.
- His attempts to make you jealous may be his way of trying to get your attention: "reminding you" that you are prey, he tries to gain more attachment from you.
- Try reconnecting with your boyfriend by giving him all the security he needs. Compliment him, appreciate when he does something kind for you, hug him, kiss him, and give him all the physical displays of affection you feel like giving.
Step 4. Manage your insecurities
In addition to dealing with your boyfriend's insecurities, you also need to manage yours: if you are more confident, you will more easily stop being obsessed with feelings of jealousy, and you will also have more energy to strengthen the relationship.
- Be understanding of yourself. Admit when you give in to jealousy and reassure yourself by telling yourself that it is a natural feeling that you should not be ashamed of, because only by accepting the feeling itself can you learn to overcome it.
- Take some time to focus on your interests regardless of the relationship. By dedicating yourself to your individual development you will see your contribution to the relationship more clearly, which will help you recognize that your boyfriend truly loves you.
Method 3 of 3: Dealing with an Ex
Step 1. Ignore it
If your ex-boyfriend intentionally tries to flaunt his new relationship in front of your eyes, showing jealousy will do just what he wants. Don't reply when he contacts you via email, text message, or on social media, and if he tries to make you jealous in person, reply as neutral as possible and then end the conversation and walk away.
- In addition to not responding directly to him, you will also have to resist the temptation to post ambiguous status updates and indirect digs on Facebook or Twitter and avoid complaining to mutual friends who might report it.
- Stay consistent. It is possible that at first he may try harder to make you jealous, but if you stay consistent and don't give in he will eventually realize that it doesn't work.
Step 2. Limit your opportunities
If he is particularly stubborn and his behavior makes you nervous, react by cutting off all contact. Delete him from your social media contacts, unfollow his profile and block him; if the situation gets worse, it also blocks his phone number and marks his e-mail address as spam.
He may feel temporarily satisfied when he realizes that he has managed to upset you, but then he will have no way to continue and will be forced to stop
Step 3. Avoid spite
You may be tempted to go an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth and respond to jealousy with jealousy, but that's not a good idea, because starting a new relationship just to make your ex jealous isn't fair for either you or the new one. guy you start dating.
Plus, showing off a new guy you really like could hurt your new relationship as well. Using your new boyfriend to provoke your ex keeps you tied to the previous relationship, and fomenting jealousy means being constantly at war with your ex. The best thing to do is to sever all relationships with him and focus your attention only on your new boyfriend
Step 4. Resist the temptation to return with him
Even if the opportunity arises to start a relationship together and you feel tempted to get back together with him, don't do it: an ex who makes you jealous is also capable of making you suffer and does not deserve your love and consideration.
Warnings
- If your boyfriend continues to purposely make you jealous even after talking to him, consider seeing a relationship counselor to address the issue. In case the problems are unsolvable, it is in your best interest to end the relationship.
- If your ex moves into heavy behavior like harassment or threats even if you ignore him, consider reporting him for harassment or stalking.
