If you want to show respect for your family, start learning good manners and learn to correctly express your disagreement and listen to others, even when you are nervous. Also, try to be helpful by showing your family how much you love them.
Part 1 of 4: Be Educated
Step 1. Say "please" and "thank you"
It certainly isn't pleasant when someone invites you to do something abruptly. However, within the family it is easy to forget and overlook these simple rules of good manners. Always remember to say "please", "thank you" and "sorry" at the appropriate time, even when dealing with a member of your family.
Step 2. Pay attention to the tone
This tip goes with the previous one. In other words, no one likes to be bossed around. So, pay attention to the tone you use when talking to your family members.
For example, instead of saying badly, "Give me fruit juice!", You might ask, "Would you mind giving me some fruit juice, please?"
Step 3. Be responsible for your mess
To show respect and education, clean up what you dirty. If you leave it to someone else to fix your mess, you will give the impression that you have no respect for anyone. Put away your toys and anything you've used and put away your dirty clothes. Clean up after you go to the bathroom and help out with the housework.
Part 2 of 4: Learning to Express Your Disagreement
Step 1. Express how you feel, instead of blaming others
Simply put, speak in the first person when you disagree with a family member instead of using second-person sentences. If it makes you nervous that your sister is always hogging the bathroom, tell her what you think instead of accusing her.
- For example, you might say, "I feel like you disrespect yourself when you take over the bathroom because I don't have enough time to prepare and I can't go through the day peacefully."
- By speaking in the first person, you will also be able to tone down the discussion. Let the other person understand why you are angry by not pointing the finger at them, which may cause them to become defensive.
Step 2. Take a deep breath
It's easy to lose your temper when you're nervous. The problem is that this state of mind prevents you from thinking clearly and can lead you to say things that you may regret later on. If you feel at the mercy of your emotions, take a moment to leave to calm down. Concentrate on inhaling and exhaling for a few minutes or count until you feel calmer.
Step 3. Don't change the subject
When arguing, don't take advantage of the situation to bring up old stories. Don't remember the last time your interlocutor said something wrong or behaved badly towards you. You will do nothing but sour the spirits and you will not resolve the matter.
Step 4. Listen to what the other person has to tell you
During a quarrel, we often only try to express our point of view, which, of course, we consider the only correct one. However, it is very important to take the time to really listen to what the other has to say. Even if you decide to keep your view of things, try to show your interlocutor that you respect their point of view by giving them time to express themselves.
Listening to the other means taking into consideration what they say. It is not enough to sit and think of a way to contest it
Step 5. Don't scream
In this way, you risk frightening children and teach them to adopt this attitude when, on the other hand, they could calmly express their concerns. Likewise, when you yell at an adult, there is a risk that they will become so intimidated that they get stuck and no longer be able to hear what you have to say.
Step 6. Be willing to change your mind
Whether your role is that of a parent, spouse, child, brother or sister, whoever you are facing may be right. In other words, you need to be willing to change your mind if you understand that you are wrong.
In this case, you also need to be willing to admit your mistakes. Sometimes we make mistakes and we need to apologize. For example, you might say, "Now I realize I was wrong. I apologize for the mistake I made."
Part 3 of 4: Demonstrate Your Love
Step 1. Be focused when discussing
Actually listen to what the other person is telling you. To physically communicate that you are listening to her, try to stop whatever you are doing. Look into her eyes, let her talk, and don't stop her until she has finished her speech.
Step 2. Spend some time together
To show that you appreciate the other person, take your time. Watch a movie or cook dinner together. Organize a special outing. It doesn't matter what you do, but the fact that you find the time to have a good time together.
Step 3. Support the interests of your family members
Everyone needs to pursue their own interests, which are different for each family member. Find out about how everyone spends their free time and their passions and, if you can, attend the most important events, such as a dance recital or a football match.
Step 4. Offer your comfort when someone is sad
If you notice that one of your family members is upset, try to calm them down. What you can do is listen to his concerns and try to help him where possible.
Part 4 of 4: Respect the Children
Step 1. Learn the language of love for your family members
The "language of love" is an expression used by Gary Chapman to describe how people express their affection. Basically, you have to deal with everyone differently in order for them to feel loved. You can consult his website 5lovelanguages.com to take some quizzes and understand the language of love of each of your family members.
- By knowing the language of love used by your family members, you will be able to express your love for them.
- For example, one way to communicate love is to use reassuring words when someone needs to be verbally encouraged to feel loved. Another form of the language of love is made up of courtesy gestures that make one person feel loved if another does something for them.
- The third form of the language of love is to receive gifts: in fact, a little thought helps people feel loved. The fourth is represented by the good times: the other feels loved by sharing their time with those they love. The last is physical contact: love is expressed through kisses, hugs and outpourings of affection.
Step 2. Encourage your children
Children are at a stage in life where they are learning good manners and learning to ask for things with respect. Therefore, when your child asks for something politely, try to encourage his behavior.
- Be specific when you praise him. For example, when he politely asks if he can get up from the table instead of running away without saying anything, you might say, "Thank you for asking in a kind and polite way."
- Also, remember to encourage him for the effort he has had to make, not just the end result. For example, regardless of whether he wins or loses a tennis match, you can tell him that you are proud of him for all the effort he put into it.
Step 3. Respect their privacy
Your child will begin to set some limits on their privacy. Since this is a way to assert your independence, you should try to respect it, where possible, with some caution. For example, if he's still small enough, you should probably stay in the bathroom while he washes, focusing on something else so he doesn't feel watched.
- Point out that sometimes you or your doctor will need to physically examine him to make sure he is healthy.
- Many children begin to claim their privacy from elementary school. However, if your child appears to be ashamed of their body, you may want to make sure that everything is okay, barring that it is a sign of sexual abuse.
Step 4. Set boundaries for your child
Limits are essential for a child because they allow him to know how far he can go. Your child probably won't see them as a sign of respect at first, but keep in mind that they will help them become a satisfied and responsible adult.
- Set limits in advance and clearly expose them to your child. In other words, you must already know what rules you will implement before enforcing them, while the child will have to understand that what you have established is not negotiable. For example, use a statement in place of a question: "Please clean your room before you leave", instead of "Please, can you clean your room before you leave?". You don't have to use a harsh tone, in fact it is better to tell him calmly so as not to terrify him.
- Don't be afraid to use humor to encourage them to cooperate. Kids love wacky rumors and jokes, so try making the forks dance when you want your child to eat or have the toothbrush talk when they need to brush their teeth.
Step 5. Learn and teach conflict management techniques
When something is wrong, you need to learn to deal with the situation without screaming. For example, you could use some calming techniques, such as listening to a CD of soothing music. Alternatively, you can use a more creative way to express yourself, perhaps by drawing, coloring, or painting.