Is your family violent, destructive or dysfunctional? The decision to deny your family is not easy to make but, in some cases, a clean break is the best way to move forward and leave behind a painful past or to protect yourself, your children and your property from any future damage. Depending on your age and situation, you can take the necessary steps to keep your family at a distance. For more information, read on.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Denying Your Family as a Minor
Step 1. Consider calling social services or Telefono Azzurro
If you are under the age of eighteen and believe you are living in a dangerous situation, contact Telefono Azzurro for help. The first thing to do is to take refuge in a safe place. Once they have taken you away from your family, social services will help you understand how it is best to proceed to protect yourself from yours.
- If you are unsure whether you want to call the Azzurro phone, talk to a trusted adult, such as a teacher, school counselor, or your friends' parents, to see what your options are.
- Keep in mind that by the time you turn eighteen, your parents will no longer have any legal right to make decisions for you. Maybe, you and your parents don't get along, but are they a real danger to you? If not, the best solution may be to wait. By the time you turn eighteen, you will be able to live your life the way you want.
Step 2. Emancipate yourself from your parents
If you are still a teenager, the legal method of disowning your family is to "emancipate yourself". This means that you will be legally regarded as an adult with the right to make your own decisions under the supervision of a guardian, and your parents will no longer be your legal guardians. In Italy, you must be at least sixteen to be emancipated. This may be the best solution for you if:
- Your parents abuse you.
- Your parents are unable to take care of you.
- You think your parents' lifestyle is morally repugnant.
- You are financially independent and want to have the same rights as an adult.
Step 3. Become financially independent
The magistrate will not allow you to emancipate yourself if you cannot prove that you can live independently of your parents, like any other adult. This means you will need to earn enough to pay for a place to live, food, medical bills, and a variety of other expenses. Once you are emancipated, your parents will no longer be legally responsible for providing for you.
- Get a job soon. Save as much money as possible; make sure you don't spend money unnecessarily.
- Leave your parents' house and move into your apartment. You also have the option of moving in with a friend or relative, as long as the person in question declares that the accommodation will be permanent.
Step 4. Get your parents' permission
The emancipation process is much easier if your parents agree that they no longer want to be responsible for you. If they decide they don't want to give you their consent, the burden of proving they are not up to their role will fall on you.
Step 5. Present the proper documentation
It will be necessary to fill in an emancipation request, which you can obtain by contacting the Tribunal for the Protection of Minors. You also need to fill out documents stating your financial situation, your employment and how you live.
If possible, consider seeking legal help when filling out the application. A lawyer is used to Italian laws and will be able to guide you as you fill out the form to make sure everything is done as correctly as possible. There are several ways to hire a lawyer when you have a low income
Step 6. Introduce yourself to a preliminary meeting and hearing
After you submit your application and other paperwork to the court, you should be given a date for a preliminary meeting in which both you and your parents will be present. The situation will be assessed, and if your parents oppose your emancipation, you will need to go to a court hearing to prove they are inadequate parents.
- An inquiry into your family situation may be required after the preliminary meeting.
- If you can prove that you can and should live as an adult, you will be free to cut all ties with your parents and other family members - effectively disavowing them.
Method 2 of 2: Denying Your Family as an Adult
Step 1. Put some distance between you and your family
If you live in a situation where you are in physical danger or feel like you can't take it anymore, the most important step is to take refuge in a safe place, where your family will no longer be able to harm you. If you are over eighteen, your parents and family members have no legal right to impose where you live.
If you are not financially independent, try to figure out if it is possible for you to stay with a friend or relative so that you can get back on your feet
Step 2. Cut off any contact
Once you become an adult, "disowning" your family means, first of all, ceasing all contact with them. Stop calling your family and stop taking their calls. The same goes for emails and other forms of communication. Don't give them your address and ask others not to tell them where you are.
- I recommend that you change your phone number and email address to make it more difficult for your family to contact you.
- Consider sending them a written statement that you want to cut off any reports. You declare that you no longer want to have any contact with them, that you are disavowing them and that, if they try to contact you, you will take legal action.
Step 3. Consider getting a restraining order
If your family is violent towards you or your children, I recommend that you get a restraining order so they will be legally obliged to stay away from you. A restraining order, in the case of domestic violence, can prevent your family from contacting you or require them to keep a certain distance from you.
- Consider hiring a lawyer to help and guide you with your request for a restraining order. You'll have a better chance of getting the protection you need if you have an expert to help you fill out forms and represent you in court.
- Once the restraining order has been issued, call the police immediately if your family members violate it.
Step 4. Exclude your family members from your will
Another way to make sure your family has no way of influencing you or your children is to explicitly state this in your will. Hire a lawyer to help you write a living will to prevent your family from making medical decisions that could end your life. Make sure you protect your children and belongings as well.
Advice
- Emancipate only if you really can't stand them.
- Remember that it also depends on your age.
- Try consulting a consultant first.
- Ask friends for advice before making hasty decisions.
