So now you are in college and have decided to expand your horizons and get involved in new businesses. There are many ways to do this: among them trying to be part of a brotherhood is, at least for most students, the first to come to mind. Fortunately, there are several ways to connect with a brotherhood.
Steps
Step 1. Decide why you want to join a fellowship
This is the most important part, because if you are unsure why you want to be a part of it, you will most likely find yourself unhappy with your decision along the way. People want to join a brotherhood for various reasons: some want to enrich their curriculum, others want to find a family, some do it because they are pushed by their parents. Do not approach a brotherhood because others are pushing you to do this, only do it if you want to. Find a couple of good reasons, and focus on them. It is better that you do not justify your reasons in one way to one brotherhood and in another way to another brotherhood: despite the rivalry, brotherhoods have potential cross-references between them. Most importantly, don't say you want to join a fellowship to "party and meet girls".
Step 2. Be aware of the commitments involved in being part of a fellowship
Most of the brotherhoods still have a pawn system (few have canceled this system and developed a new one) and the amount to be paid is an important sacrifice. In addition, engagement usually requires involvement in compulsory study hours, weekly meetings, projects, and in some cases even group travel. This also has an impact on the time you can devote to studying, so make sure you have enough. Being part of a fraternity could also affect your bank account, because depending on which fraternity you become a member you will have to participate in parties, projects, give home gifts, etc., paying with your own money. All this without considering the dues themselves to participate in the fellowship, which are standard. How much you will spend will depend on which brotherhood you become a member of. However, most siblings help you find a low-interest job or loan to cope with financial straits, so you don't have to leave a sibling just because the expenses and dues are very high.
Step 3. Ignore campus stereotypes
Don't let people decide for you. Some people may refer to a particular fellowship in a positive way, others may refer to it in a negative way. People's point of view is totally relative and therefore there is no better source than your own judgment skills.
Step 4. Do your research
Find the place on your campus where siblings advertise their flagship events. The best time to do this would be the first week of school, in the fall, because ALL the fraternities will be there. Find out how many there are, what kind of brotherhoods they are, and what are the peak events for each of them. Even if you have no interest in joining one of them, grab one of their flyers anyway, you may later change your opinion.
Step 5. Limit your options
You will most likely have too many siblings to evaluate in a single week (unless there is a special method of managing affiliations in your school). Get a quick idea of them when collecting flyers and try to figure out which one you might be most likely to get along with. Don't choose a brotherhood because it has the best parties or attracts more girls, or because its members are better dressed. Choose a brotherhood because you like its "character".
Step 6. Be yourself
This is one of the most important things. Despite the reputation of not being tops, the "brothers" can recognize superficiality very easily. Find ways to be comfortable, confident, and RELAX! If a sibling doesn't like your personality, find the one they like.
Step 7. Be honest
Don't lie, for the same reasons we explained in number 3. Lying can only reduce your chances of being admitted.
Step 8. Talk to everyone
Not everyone in a brotherhood is the same. There are people with different characters in each brotherhood: if you don't like someone's personality, look for another person. If you find that you don't like anyone in particular in a brotherhood, it's probably not the right one for you.
Step 9. Ask questions about fellowship
Asking questions allows a brotherhood to understand that you are interested, and more importantly, brotherhoods are crazy about talking about the history of their section or that of the national level. Try to understand what the time and financial commitment is, what are the advantages, the disadvantages, whatever. Some good questions to ask are: "What is your favorite memory in this section of the fellowship?" and "why did you join this brotherhood?".
Step 10. Reduce your options again
After you've had some kind of relationship with each brotherhood you think you can get along with, choose the ones that can really do for you. A good idea is to narrow down to the two siblings you have the best relationship with, and not just one because you may run the risk of not receiving a membership offer. Choosing multiple siblings may lead them to believe that your motives for joining are not serious. Also, by limiting your choice to two, it could happen that brotherhoods are competing for your membership. Once you've decided what the two choices are, spend the rest of the time trying to put pressure on them for your access. If they like you as much as they like you, chances are you will get an offer from one of them.
Step 11. Remember that if you don't get an offer from one of your two choices, but you really want to be a part of it, keep insisting
Try to hang out with some of the members after a fall week, and do it on a more personal basis. The few you date are likely to be able to convince the rest of the section that you are a good person. Many times it can also happen that the siblings do not make offers to see if you are seriously interested. So the end of the world did not happen.
Advice
- Be serious when trying to join a brotherhood. Don't try to impersonate someone else, because you will only run the risk of making it more difficult for you and the brotherhood.
- Learn the Greek alphabet (as brotherhood names often use Greek letters). If you are a person who likes mathematics, you should already know most of it, and in any case all those who enter a brotherhood have an obligation to learn it. It will come in handy when trying to remember if a particular guy had a "π" or a "psi" on his sweatshirt.
- Similar to other points, do not rely on your old friends who have already joined a fellowship.
- Don't rely on some members of your family being part of a brotherhood. Even if your father or grandfather were in a brotherhood, it is a myth to dispel that you will receive an automatic offer. This is not true at all. Most fraternity sections do not have this type of automatic bidding rule because it only brings annoyance and can lead to acts of arrogance.
- Don't rely on some members of your family being part of a brotherhood. Just because your father or grandfather were in a brotherhood, you don't necessarily have to get along well with that specific brotherhood or that you are suitable for brotherhoods in general. You are an individual with a different personality from that of other members of your family. Choose a brotherhood based on who you are, not based on who your father or grandfather is.
- Don't join a fellowship in your first semester or term in college. You better take a break where you can get used to the new environment and the new people around you.
- If you want to join a fraternity to party, reevaluate your willingness to join a fraternity. Every college club throws parties. The only difference is that some do it in a more "evident" way than others.
Warnings
- These guidelines just given are valid if you want to join a brotherhood, not a sisterhood. Sisterhoods have completely different entry procedures..
- Never refer, in the Anglo-Saxon world, to a brotherhood as a "Brother". The term "frat" has negative connotations, and most brotherhoods can be extremely offended by it. Some, however, may not care, so first make sure you know the person you're talking to well. But, in general, remember that the term "frat" is taboo, so play it safe.
