How to Revive a Friendship: 13 Steps

2024 Author: Samantha Chapman | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 09:13

Whether it's a change in lifestyle, a quarrel or a difference of interest, anyone can get away from a friend. Maybe you have changed your mind and want to resolve an old disagreement or you simply intend to decrease the distance that has slowly crept between you and an old acquaintance. Fortunately, there are clear and constructive methods you can use to show that you are interested in reconnecting and starting to rekindle a friendship.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Expressing the Hope of Rebuilding Friendship

Step 1. Take the first step

Don't wait for your friend to contact you. If you want to re-establish a connection with him, make yourself available by calling or inviting him to meet you again. A phone call or email is a quick, easy, and fair way to show you're interested in talking or spending time together. However, you should consider the alternatives you have for getting in touch.

Step 2. Contact them the right way

There are various solutions depending on the distance that has been created. The intensity of your bond and the context in which you have separated are very important elements when considering how you should approach an old friend.

• If you haven't seen or talked to each other for a while, contact him casually. You could leave him a message on a social network that both of you use. Email is better because it is a more reliable and secure method of communication. Also, people tend to check their email more frequently.
• Consider sending him a letter. If you have drifted apart due to an argument, avoid rekindling old animosities. Take care not to make him feel like he is forced to answer you. Avoid calling someone you have clashed with, it could make them uncomfortable or even upset. A written note or message will give him time to think and think about an answer.
• Don't just send a simple text message. While text messages can be great for exchanging information or a quick hello, they're not the way to go when it comes to resuming a relationship. If you feel comfortable contacting a friend via text message but haven't spoken in a while, give him a call. A more direct approach will demonstrate your interest in resuming relationships.

Step 3. Don't worry about how much time has passed

Don't think your friendship has ended or has become less important. Relationships change when people marry, move, or have children. If you miss an old friend, chances are he or she misses you too. Trying to reconnect is always appropriate.

• Recognize the importance of circumstances. If you drifted apart because your friend had radically changed their life and yours also recently went through a similar transformation, now you may find something in common that binds you more than before!
• Stop waiting! The more time you spend missing her without doing anything anyway, the more you risk walking away. Remember that it doesn't matter if you haven't talked to each other in a while. You could actually make him happy by letting him know that you think about him and would like to reconnect.

Step 4. Insist, but don't be impatient

If she doesn't respond, or seems hesitant, try expressing your hope of re-establishing relationships. Don't be in a hurry however, wait some time between contacts. If he doesn't respond, accept that he still doesn't feel ready or willing to see you again.

Part 2 of 3: Meeting a Friend after a Time of Away

Step 1. Make your first meeting short

Remember that the present is not the same as the past. Your friend may have changed considerably. Don't expect them to be the same person as when you were dating.

• How you feel about someone may be conditioned by your expectations of them. It is not the right approach to the other person and you risk fueling unjustified hopes regarding the possibility of reviving a friendship relationship.
• Make an appointment for coffee or lunch instead of going out together in the evening. This way you can interact with more peace of mind, with fewer preconceived ideas or expectations about your meeting.

Step 2. Apologize

If you have something to apologize for, do it as soon as possible. Be completely honest. Know that your friend may still resent what happened between you and the same goes for you; so take this into account before meeting.

• If you have made a mistake that has contributed even in part to your fight, assume your responsibilities.
• Tell your friend that you are willing to put everything behind you and that, if they like, you are ready to talk about everything that has happened.
• Try to express yourself like this: "You know, Giorgio, I'm really sorry for the argument we had. Would you like to have a drink together one of these days and discuss it?".
• Alternatively, you could say, "You know, Sandra, I was really bad about the way I reacted to you. I'm so sorry. I would like to see you again sometime if you're interested in clarifying."

Step 3. Listen and show respect

You should always be fair when interacting with others, especially your friends. One of the surest ways to show someone you respect them is to listen carefully as they speak. To understand what a friend feels or thinks, consider your friendship from their point of view.

• Listen carefully. To do this, try to follow these tips especially during the most important conversations:

  • Summarize your interlocutor's speech when you are not sure you have understood correctly;
  • Encourage him to continue with a few small pointers, such as "so?" Oh yeah?";
  • Speak in first person when you answer. Reflect aloud on what he said by starting to say: "I have the impression that …";
  • If something is not clear to you, ask him to explain more about the issues you have not grasped.

  

  Step 4. Remember the best moments

  Whatever stage your friendship is going through, you will surely have fond memories of everything you have been through. Mention some of the most enjoyable moments you've experienced together, especially those that can still give you a smile.

  • By talking about your fondest memories, you may entice your friend to do the same and eventually you will be able to recall all of your experiences rather than just mentioning individual personal memories.
  • This approach will rekindle positive feelings in you, if not the interest in making up for lost time.

  Part 3 of 3: Reflecting on a Found Friendship

  

  Step 1. Forgive

  Keep in mind that this gesture must take place after you apologize. Not only is it necessary to forgive a friend with whom you are hoping to resume a relationship, but you must do so even if he does not offer you an apology. Even if you are not fully capable of solving a problem, you still have the opportunity to cultivate your friendship.

  Know that in every friendship there is an opportunity to learn and grow for both parties. By respecting each other, you can rediscover the positive sides of the relationship you had before and your bond will be even more beautiful

  

  Step 2. Try to organize yourself

  If you are planning to re-establish a relationship, act accordingly by developing a well-defined plan. Compare the days or evenings when you are free during the week and set a date to meet again.

  • If your appointment day comes and a commitment comes up, find a compromise. Avoid changing dates if you can. For example, instead of having lunch together, meet for coffee. If you don't have a chance to meet him, plan another way.
  • If your friend invites you out, don't hesitate! There is no faster way to ruin a friendship than to constantly give up on various opportunities to see each other and spend some time together.

  

  Step 3. Give your friends space

  Keep in mind that even when a friendship is rediscovered, especially after a long period of time, the relationship is likely not the same as it was before. However, even if both parties have a harder time opening up, they can still value their bond. You may have to accept that it is not possible to date as much as you would like.

  

  Step 4. Consider whether this bond of friendship could still be a part of your life

  Realize that your hopes and expectations about reconnecting with a friend may differ from his own, even if he is willing to see you again. If your meeting doesn't promise a big breakthrough, let yourself be aware that there is enough respect among you to look for you again in the future. In the meantime, don't stress yourself out about a situation that's out of your control.

  

  Step 5. Know that not all friendships are the same

  Nor do they remain the same over time. After all, no friendship can ever be perfect. Furthermore, the context in which you build your interpersonal relationships could change, even out of the blue.

  • Don't blame your friends if they change. Accept them today as you accepted them when your relationships were closest.
  • Understand the difference between different types of relationships. In the course of life, relationships are so different that they range from pure and simple acquaintances to occasional friendships and to the closest and most sincere ones. Spend your time and energy building relationships with people who value your company, respect your way of seeing things, and encourage you to grow in whatever aspect you feel is important.