How to Be Confident (with Pictures)

2024 Author: Samantha Chapman | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 09:13

If you think that having good self-esteem is a bit like having blue eyes, are you born into it or not, well, if you see it this way and you are not the most self-confident person in the world, then you are doomed to resign yourself to failure. It is time to leave behind the idea of not being able to develop your self-esteem and work to change your mindset and your actions. Only in this way will you be on the right path to cultivate the self-confidence that you lack right now. If you want to know how to be more confident, read on.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Having the Right Mindset

Step 1. Take pride in your strengths

If you want to be confident, the first thing you need to do is think about everything you already like about yourself. At first glance it seems to you that you have nothing good, that you have no quality, and that everyone around you in one way or another looks better than yours and is more charming than you. Well, you have to throw all these thoughts out the window if you are determined to change! Make a list of everything you do well, from being a good listener to having a great voice. These qualities may not mean that much to you, but you have to think that you have a lot of qualities to be proud of.

• If you like the idea of making a list, then you can keep it handy. Add a new point every time you think "Oh, right, here's one more thing that I am good at." When you feel down or think you are not worth much, read it again and you will feel better.
• Talk to a trusted friend. Ask him what, in his opinion, your strengths are. It might tell you someone you've never considered before, yet they were there, right before your eyes!

Step 2. Make an effort to become an optimist

Of course, just like Rome, optimism can't be built in one day, but that doesn't mean it's not worth starting to have positive thoughts, expecting the best. Optimism and self-esteem often go hand in hand, because people who look forward to the future and expect good things to happen tend to think that everything will be for the best, provided they step up or give their all. Practice evaluating your thoughts to understand how many pessimistic ones are, work to counterattack every negative thought with at least three positives. By working hard enough, you will soon be able to see the world in a more favorable light.

• Work to eliminate any doubts you have about yourself. When you happen to think about all the bad things that can happen in a given situation, like going to a party and having no one to talk to, focus on the best that could happen instead (maybe you'll find a new friend!). Sure, maybe things aren't going to go well, but if you think it's a possibility, you're much more likely to be fine.
• As if that weren't enough, no one likes pessimistic or whiny people. When you see your friends, practice talking about the best things in your life or the things you can't wait to do. You will realize that people will respond better to what you say and your mood will be better too.

Step 3. Cultivate your knowledge

Another reason you lack self-esteem could be because you feel ignorant when you compare yourself to everyone around you. Whether you are in a social situation or in a classroom, if you feel you don't understand something, then it's time to get informed. If you are going to the cinema with your friends, find out about the actors first; if you know that "The Great Gatsby" will be discussed in class, read the book carefully. The more you know, the more you will feel able to contribute, and your self-esteem will grow.

• If you are in the company of other people and think you have something to say, you will feel more confident, in fact, holding back and only listening to the opinions of others could be further detrimental to your self-esteem. You don't have to be a hard talker to cultivate your confidence, but you should talk often enough to feel like you have a lot of interesting things to say.
• If you know a lot, from how to build a piece of furniture to how to choose the right pair of shoes for a prom, people will turn to you for help. Your self-esteem can go a long way by helping others and seeing that they have something to learn from you.

Step 4. Stop comparing yourself to others

You need to focus on yourself and how to achieve the goals you want, instead of spying on your neighbor and wondering why you can't be as attractive / beautiful / confident as he is. There will always be someone to compare and lose, because there will always be someone better than you, just as there will always be someone worse than you. Why torture yourself with wild competition if you will never win? Instead, focus on your dreams and goals, and take pride when you get what you wanted.

Remember that everyone feels insecure, for one reason or another. Your beautiful classmate may be complexed because she is too tall or because she is not good at school. No one is perfect, however much it seems to you the other way around

Step 5. Get ready

Being ready to deal with any situation, as far as possible, can help you be confident. If you are going to take a math test, you must have devoted the study hours necessary to get a good grade. If you are going to give a presentation in front of the whole class, you should have practiced enough not to make a silent scene. If you are going to a party, you should inform yourself as much as possible about it, knowing who will go there, what time it will start and other details. In this way, when you have to do something, the "X factors" will be less. While it's impossible to be 100% ready for any situation (which by the way is part of the fun and mystery of life), it certainly helps you get an idea of what's going to happen.

Insecure people constantly doubt themselves and the world around them. Leave less room for doubt by feeling capable of accomplishing what you face

Step 6. Get rid of all the sources of negativity around you as much as possible

Unfortunately, it may be impossible to get rid of everything that gets you down, but you can definitely make the effort to surround yourself with optimistic people and situations where you feel good about yourself. Here's what to consider:

• If you hate your body or your appearance in general because you are browsing fashion magazines or watching television, then try to break away from these habits.

  

• If you spend all your free time with a friend or partner who always makes you feel like you're worth less than zero, then it's time to ask yourself a question or two about this relationship.

  

• If you play a sport that you hate with all your heart and it does not give you any results, even if you try hard, then it is time to leave it or to find a team that best suits your needs; this does not mean that you should give up something at the first hint of difficulty, but that you should learn to recognize what is not working for you.

  

Part 2 of 3: Put yourself into action

Step 1. Embrace the unknown

If you're insecure, then the idea of doing something completely new and different probably doesn't excite you. Well, the time has come to be brave and to dare to try an activity you never expected to do, such as introducing yourself to a new group of people at a party, signing up for a dance class while having two left feet or apply for a job that looks great but tiring. The more you get used to trying new things, the more confident you will feel. In fact, you will understand that you will be able to handle all the deflected shots that your life will do. Here are some helpful ways to embrace the unknown:

• Start small. Start talking to someone you see often but never chat with, such as a classmate or a neighbor.

  

• Plan a trip to see a new place, while being only 100km from your home. Get in the habit of learning about new places and things that are different from the routine.

  

• Try learning a foreign language. Doing something that seems completely incomprehensible to you is fun and helps you cultivate your self-esteem.

  

Step 2. Take more risks

This step links to the previous one. If you want to be more confident, then you not only need to try new things, but you need to be willing to do activities that scare you a little or feel uncertain. Not all risks will lead you to something good, but they will get you in the habit of pushing your limits and seeing what happens. Taking risks won't make you feel confined to those little things that put you at ease, it will make you feel capable of doing everything.

• Get out of the comfort zone at least once a day. This could mean talking to the guy you like or asking him out, if you've put aside the right amount of courage!
• If you're unhappy at work but scary leaving, try applying for another job. While failing to have results, you will understand that this risk is not all that scary.
• Confront your fear as you face it. You don't have to bungee jump if you're dizzy, but you can take the elevator to the top of a 10-story building and look out the window. You will understand that you can actually get over whatever is holding you back.

Step 3. Get together with the people who make you feel good about yourself

Do you remember one of the previous steps, which is to let go of negative influences? Well, surrounding yourself with positive influences can be even more beneficial for boosting your self-esteem. If you spend a lot of time with people who you think are great, who often compliment you, or who just make you feel good by hugging, wondering how you are and having fun, then you will begin to realize that you have so much to offer the world. Make it a habit to spend as much time as possible with people who treat you well.

• Being with self-confident people can help you. Instead of being jealous, analyze these people and ask yourself, “What do they have that I don't? And how can I get it?”. You will find that confident people are not necessarily "better" than you at something, but they have a good opinion of themselves.
• If you are surrounded by people who make you demoralized, like siblings and co-workers who constantly criticize you, and you see no way out, you need to work hard to understand that their opinions don't matter and that you can shake them off. Unfortunately, dealing with people you don't like is part of life, and the sooner you start getting away with it, the better.

Step 4. Get good at something

If you can excel at an activity, don't neglect it. If you find that you have a certain flair for an activity that you would never have considered, such as poetry or running, you will develop greater self-confidence in no time at all. In fact, if you are not good at something, obviously your self-esteem will be much lower, because you will feel like you have little to offer. On the other hand, if you work to fully cultivate a talent or skill and commit to it properly, you will feel truly capable of working hard and seeing results.

• Not everyone is a great tennis player or Oscar-winning actor; it's up to you to find your niche. You can volunteer by opening your heart and mind or have good taste in interior design. Not everything you're good at is something that catches the eye.
• Remember that it takes time to get good at something. If you want to be a writer, the first 1000 pages you write are pretty much guaranteed to be pure junk. Real success comes from the sweat of your brow, not just inspiration. By working hard, you will see results.

Step 5. Stand straight

This is no joke: having great posture can make you go far to look more confident, feeling greater self-esteem. If you always get humbled, you send yourself and others a very specific message: you are not satisfied with who you are and you want to make yourself small. You will tell the world that you are not happy with yourself, and this will make you feel less confident in different social contexts, or even when you are walking down the street alone. So, even if you are 1.90m tall, you should have good posture, whether standing or sitting, in any case. In this way, both you and the world can realize that you are proud to be yourself.

• This is a great trick to make yourself look and feel more confident. Projecting self-esteem will get you half the battle.
• You don't even have to cross your arms across your chest. Keep them at your sides or use them to gesticulate. They will make you seem more approachable and you will feel more open.

Step 6. Look people in the eye when you talk to them

You don't need to stare at them intensely, to the point of unsettling them, but you should force yourself and look them in the eye when you speak. You can look away from time to time, but if you just stare at the ground, look away, or back away when talking to people, then you will seem unsure of yourself. Looking people in the eye during a conversation sends the message that you are comfortable, not inferior, and that you are open to new ideas.

Looking people in the eye also helps you keep your head up. Always staring at the floor or your feet can make you look - and feel - less confident

Step 7. Spend some time looking after your appearance

No, you won't feel more confident renovating your wardrobe or undergoing plastic surgery. However, as you try to improve your appearance, you will show that you care about yourself, and you will begin to see yourself in a different light. On your path to safety, you should make sure you have good personal hygiene; shower every day, comb your hair and wear clean and tidy clothes. If you go to school with dirty hair and a sweatshirt that hasn't changed in days (although there may be times when we don't want or have time to look better), you will send yourself and the people around you the message that you don't care about your look at all.

• If you look in the mirror and see a person being cured, it will be much easier to have a higher opinion of yourself.
• This doesn't mean you have to apply pounds of makeup or wear clothes that make you uncomfortable. You should always be yourself, but take care of your personal hygiene.

Part 3 of 3: Keep Growing

Step 1. Learn from failures

Self-confident people are not successful in everything they try to do; however, they know how to accept failure and learn from their mistakes instead of giving up on anything that doesn't go as planned. The next time you get a bad grade on a math test, don't get hired after an interview, or get turned down by the person you like, don't let that put you off by wondering what went wrong and why it all happens to you. Of course, sometimes you will just be a victim of bad luck, but it is important to feel that you are in control in every situation. That way, you'll know what to do to make the next one go better for you.

• The saying "Not all donuts come with a hole" is true. Think about how boring your life would be if you were the best at everything you do. Instead, see failure as an opportunity to try what you can do in the future.
• It is important to understand where you went wrong and to accept when something happened out of sheer bad luck.

Step 2. Get rid of the defects that you can get rid of

If you hate your body or the sound of your own voice, then you will have to learn to live with it if you want to be confident. However, if you hate being a bad conversationalist or giving the wrong idea on time, then you can work on it. Make a list of the defects you intend to correct, but it shouldn't be too long, or you will feel worse. Pick a pair to focus on. Create a plan for deciding how to improve these aspects of yourself and work hard to achieve it. You will rediscover your confidence once you start taking action on what you can change.

• This doesn't mean that a little effort is all it takes to completely change any aspect of your personality. However, it does mean that you can feel better by doing a simple test.
• If you think you are hopeless, that you can never change for the better, then yes, you will be condemned to a life of low self-esteem.

Step 3. Get more physical activity

Exercising alone isn't the best, but getting in the habit of moving for at least 30 minutes a day, or a few times a week, can be really helpful in making you feel better about yourself, mentally and physically. Sport allows the body to release endorphins, and you will feel better about yourself and the world on a physiological level, while also benefiting the body. It is a situation that can only give you good results. Making a commitment to exercise constantly, as long as it feels good, is ideal for being more confident.

You can even kill two birds with one stone - physical activity can be an excuse to step out of your comfort zone and try something new. You may be bothered by the idea of yoga or zumba, but once you sign up you will realize that it wasn't as scary as it seemed

Step 4. Smile more

It has been proven that smiling not only will make you feel better - people around you will react more positively. While smiling is the last thing you want to do, it also helps you feel more confident in your interpersonal approach and in everyday life. It also makes you approachable in the eyes of others, and you could invite a new friend or a new opportunity by just moving your lips. There is no reason not to smile more, however sad you feel.

Step 5. Don't be afraid to ask for help

Being confident doesn't mean you have to be a jack of all trades, great at whatever business you try. Instead, it means being the kind of person who can admit when they can't do something on their own. Knowing that you are out of your element allows you to be more proud and confident in the long run; if you ask for help when you need it, not only will you be able to achieve more: you will feel proud of yourself, because you will have made the effort to approach someone and ask them for a hand.

If you ask others for help, these people will likely ask you for help accordingly, and you will understand that you are helpful

Step 6. Learn to live in the present

Insecure people rarely do this. They are too busy worrying about something that went wrong two weeks ago or obsessing over because they think they will embarrass themselves at some future event. You must learn to break free of this habit and to love and appreciate the world around you, instead of looking to the past or the future. If you get involved in the moment, you will be able to have a great conversation instead of worrying about what your interlocutor thinks of you; if you stop fidgeting, you will be able to improve your performance at home, at work, at school and in your social interactions.

• Of course, it can be difficult to switch off and focus on the task ahead of you. When your mind finds itself wandering, do whatever it takes to bring it back to the moment you are experiencing.
• Do yoga or practice conscious meditation. This too can help you live in the present.

Advice

• Never wear clothes that are too small or too big. Size matters in this case.
• Always put on deodorant.
• Shower every day or at least three times a week.
• Let all the abilities hidden within you emerge. Try to always give your best after understanding what goals you want to achieve. Success is one of the keys to self-esteem.
• Do your best to make your charm stand out right away. It is well known that attractive people are much more likely to be respected by others and, consequently, to be self-confident. Take care of your personal hygiene and clothes to impress people.
• Forget your fears of not being up to a task. Remember that no one is perfect, so don't be afraid of mistakes.
• Be romantic. Remember that you complete your partner. Engage her in passionate adventures and take care of her.
• Walk with your head held high, keep your shoulders straight and look directly in front of you.
• Do you read a lot. It is difficult to respond to someone who is trying to talk about a topic they are ignorant of. Reading a lot of books will make you more cultured, and you can step into any conversation and impress others.
• Don't compare yourself to others. In particular, don't compare yourself to the people you see on television. They project ideals that are difficult to achieve. Be yourself and you will know that you are the best in your own way.
• Before falling asleep, speak positively to yourself. Tell yourself that you are the king of the world, that in your absence it would no longer turn, the flowers would not bloom and people would no longer be able to breathe. You are the king. It sounds crazy, but it can help you a lot.
• Try to have a good relationship with others. Don't offend people, as they may turn against you and make you lose confidence. Don't be rude.
• If you are participating in a contest, breathe well, try to be alone for about 5 minutes before it starts, forget your fears, prepare yourself right and drink plenty of water. And remember: if it doesn't go well today, you will win tomorrow. Failure can be the foundation of success.
• Never be insecure because you are not rich.
• Do your best to positively impress people who don't know you and are seeing you for the first time.
• Be independent. Practice well in the art of being alone. Rent an apartment, even a studio, and live alone for a few months. Try to do everything yourself, without anyone's help.
• Do not weaken in the face of obstacles or cry over nonsense. Learn to be strong.
• Be nonconformist. You must have your own opinions. Don't be afraid to be different from others.
• You just have to be yourself. Don't let someone have power over you and force you to be different. Only by being yourself can you truly become confident.