Talking about sex can be embarrassing, especially for teens, teens, and young people. But adequate knowledge of sexuality is essential for personal growth. Fortunately, there are many strategies that can help make this sometimes delicate aspect of your training a little easier.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Understanding the Importance of Sexual Education
Step 1. Take note that you are not the only one who feels uncomfortable
Embarrassment is a common reaction when dealing with topics focused on sex! Guys sometimes pretend to be embarrassed to hide their curiosity, as they want to prevent their friends from thinking that sexual talk makes them aroused. But any reaction is fine!
- In most cultures, sex is considered a personal and sensitive subject, so it is not approached with the same openness with which other issues are addressed, but do not allow that to stop you from asking some important questions.
- Psychologists and sexologists know how to speak with serenity about these delicate topics, but unfortunately in Italy for the moment there is no provision for teaching sex education in schools, apart from individual projects that each local reality can decide to adopt or not.
Step 2. Sex education involves an approach to many issues
It is not limited to the discourse of sexual intercourse itself, as it also involves the study of the male and female genital system and the care of one's body.
- In the United States, where most sex education curricula are established by the state ministry of education, courses tend to cover topics such as puberty, anatomy, health, self-esteem, and social issues such as blood pressure. peers and violent relationships.
- A sex education course should answer questions about menstruation (for girls), how to behave if you think you are gay, how to prevent infections and sexually transmitted diseases, what to do in case of sexually explicit text messages, how to act if you are the only virgin (or non-virgin) in your group of friends, how to deal with a boyfriend who engages in violent or manipulative behavior, and so on.
- You may think that some of these topics do not interest you, if for example you have already been through puberty and have easily gone through all the changes and have decided to remain a virgin for the time being. In this case, sex education may seem like a waste of time, but it is likely that there are other topics that you don't know exist.
Step 3. Deepen your knowledge about sexuality
Regardless of your point of view on controversial issues such as reproductive biology, same-sex unions, sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy, you are a sexual being. It is important that you know this fundamental aspect of yourself in order to grow as an individual with a healthy view of self.
- Even if you consider yourself asexual (i.e. you are not interested in sex), other people may likely make advances in your life, so you need to learn how to deal with a society where sexuality plays an important role.
- Health and wellness courses are less demanding than those in core subjects such as math, science, history or literature and usually do not require homework.
- You might even have fun!
Part 2 of 3: Collect Information
Step 1. Wait until you feel ready
In principle, you can wait to know some details about sexuality until you are driven by curiosity and you feel ready to start learning more about the subject.
It's fair to say "I don't think I'm prepared for this kind of information" when it comes to sex education. There are many points to acquire and elaborate, so waiting until you feel ready to tackle the topic is a sign of maturity
Step 2. Talk to your parents about it
Strange as it may seem to you, they love you, accept you, and can be of help to you. Sit next to them and address the topic of sexuality, changes in your body, relationship problems or whatever comes to mind.
- Don't limit yourself to the simple "speech". Keep talking about it. To learn to know and manage one's own sexuality, a continuous dialogue is necessary.
- Use every opportunity to ask them some questions when they arise naturally. You don't have to force the speech. It might be easier to tackle the question if you're talking about something you've seen together on a talk show, a movie, or on the news, rather than asking explicitly, "Dad, what does homosexual mean?"
- Don't forget that your parents have always known this time would come and have always wondered how they can answer your questions in the most appropriate way. However, you may catch them off guard, so they may need time to think of a comprehensive answer, without overwhelming you with information. So, give them some respite if they seem embarrassed!
Step 3. Ask your questions to a trusted adult of the same sex as you
Maybe Mom isn't the right person to ask about condoms. In many cases, it may be best to talk to an adult you trust, such as an older brother, aunt, cousin, or family friend. Just make sure the person you're talking to is mature and has your best interests at heart.
- Behave casually. Talking about sex doesn't have to turn into a question of state. You should simply say, "I'm going to ask you some questions, can you give me a few minutes next weekend?" If you specify the reason for your request (for example, because you have heard your friends talk about a certain topic or have seen something on the internet) you will offer them the opportunity to provide you with more comprehensive answers.
- Just like your parents, other adults can sometimes feel uncomfortable facing this kind of conversation with children or adolescents, because they are afraid of giving wrong information or giving more than they should. If they seem embarrassed or taken aback by your questions, give them time to reflect on the answers and don't worry too much.
Step 4. Do some research on the internet
As long as you are careful in choosing sites, the internet is an amazing source for researching some topics you would like to know better.
- Avoid doing research by entering keywords that refer to anatomy and sex: you may accidentally come across sexually explicit or pornographic, rather than informative, sites. Check out reputable sites like Wikipedia which, for example, show pictures of the human body (both male and female) and explain the unclear terms.
- Make sure your parents know what you are looking for. Always remember to be honest with them and to make sure they know why you are doing it, to avoid problems or embarrassing situations.
Step 5. In case your school organizes a sexology course, take it
It is helpful to have the support of an experienced professional to answer your questions, away from your parents.
If you do not have the opportunity to take a sex education course, contact your school's psychologist. In some cases, it may help you to resolve some sensitive issues privately
Step 6. Contact your doctor
Doctors are specialized professionals who are required to respect privacy. You don't have to feel embarrassed with them, because they have chosen a career that involves in-depth knowledge of the human body. No question can leave them stunned or surprised.
You can prepare questions to ask your doctor at your annual check-up, or you can make an appointment if you have any urgent questions. Do not hesitate to write down your questions and, if you feel embarrassed to ask them directly, give them to the nurse before the doctor comes in, so that he can show them. This way your doctor can read your questions and think about the answers before visiting you
Step 7. Know that you never stop learning about eros
Surprised? Sex education involves the constant acquisition of new information on interpersonal relationships, intimacy and the human body. Over time you will learn how to become a healthy and confident individual and when you are older your knowledge will need to update too.
For example, as a teenager you might ask yourself questions about puberty or have problems with your sexual identity. As an adult you may not be able to conceive a child and so on. There is no time when you will know everything as if by magic, so you could start learning now
Part 3 of 3: Overcoming Embarrassment and Excess of Information
Step 1. Pretend until you succeed
Sometimes embarrassment is inevitable, so the only thing you can do is pretend not to be embarrassed. With time and practice, this will help you really get over your embarrassment.
- You can also try to overcome your embarrassment with humor, to make the atmosphere less heavy. This is a common strategy among young people who acquire information about sex; if I just mentioned the word "penis" in a teen room, everyone would start giggling! It seems that laughter is a natural reaction to try to overcome embarrassment. So don't be afraid to laugh to relieve tension.
- Embarrassment leads you to believe that everyone is watching and judging you. When young people hear about sex, they are very likely to feel uncomfortable and weird. Nobody judges you, because maybe he feels as embarrassed as you do!
Step 2. Learn how to respond if you have different opinions
It may happen that you disagree with something an adult tells you, but it is right to present your ideas.
- If you have the impression that a teacher expresses discriminatory or unseemly ideas, communicate it to your parents, so that they can evaluate whether to talk about it with the head teacher.
- Otherwise, do not hesitate to raise your hand and communicate politely, but firmly, that there are other valid opinions on the subject. Take note that it is unlikely that you will be able to change your teacher's opinion, but at least you will be able to share your point of view with your classmates.
Step 3. Find someone to talk to
If you are troubled by a variety of information about sex or the human body, you may feel anxious, confused or scared. Sometimes these reactions occur because the information is not accurate enough to fully understand the problem. If you are perplexed, worried, or upset about something you have heard, talk to someone you trust and can reassure you.
- Consider talking to your parents or a trusted adult and tell them what you have felt or experienced and why you are feeling upset.
- If you continue to feel anxious about these issues or your sexuality, consider seeing a therapist or psychologist. You can start by discussing your problems with your parents, your doctor, or the school psychologist, asking them who you could turn to.
Advice
- Remember: we humans are all in the same boat. We have reproductive organs and we are somewhat embarrassed to talk about sex, but it is part of the growth process.
- Pornography is different from sex education. It is about our erotic fantasies and does not provide us with useful information.
- Do not perform acts that you are not willing to talk about. If you don't feel comfortable, you are probably not ready to do it.
- Avoid asking people your age about your gender. It is true that it is often more comfortable to talk to peers, but they usually have the same information as you do. You need to talk to someone who has more experience.
- Young people often lie about their sexual experiences, development, and escapades to appear more mature or experienced in the eyes of peers.
