Guilt is a terrible emotion to live with, especially if it is intense, if it grows and lives with you every day. While "a little" guilt is natural and sometimes healthy, when it begins to interfere with your daily life and routine, the problem is serious.
Most people often feel guilty if they know they could have prevented something, or if they deeply regret their decisions / actions. At other times, people may feel guilty for decisions and actions made by other family members and close friends. It is important to remember that the actions of others are never your fault - even though they can affect people's thinking and state of mind, it is ultimately their decision. Although you are practically solely responsible for "your" actions, remember that forgiveness can be earned, trust can be renewed and wounded can be healed. Mistakes are made to teach. If you are ready to tackle this topic, read on.
Steps
Step 1. Try to reflect on why you feel guilty
Grab a pen and a pad and write a list of things that can make you feel this way. It might be difficult, but eventually you will get a picture of why you feel guilty. If you can't imagine it, try this approach: consider everything on your list and imagine if you didn't. If you immediately feel better or sorry, that's probably what makes you feel guilty.
Step 2. Assess your guilt
This method sounds silly, but it can really help. Give two votes, choosing a value ranging from one to ten: how bad what you did and how guilty you feel. After that, think about why what you did was wrong and why you feel guilty. It should presumably clarify your ideas and allow you to think rationally about the source of the guilt.
Step 3. Consider what you will do
If the guilt you feel is for something like hateful of someone, neglecting a job or an animal, be reassured that something can be done about it. Write down what you will do, consider when and where, and take action. If you feel guilty about someone dying or pissing off a friend, admit it's not really your fault and it's natural to feel that way. Do something to relax and forget. Feeling guilty for insurmountable facts is not worth it: nothing can be done about it and you would end up spoiling your life.
Step 4. Once you get a better idea of why you feel guilty, don't avoid it
If necessary, you can find help from a trusted friend or even from a professional to shed some light on your situation. Chances are, unless you've committed a serious crime, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You may actually find that someone else lied to you.
Step 5. Learn to forgive the person who hurt you or yourself for the pain you are harboring
It is the only way to be able to arrive at acceptance, an important step in the process of eliminating the sense of guilt.
Advice
- We all make mistakes sometimes. If the person you wronged is your friend, they will quickly forgive you.
- It will take some time and it will hurt, but you will see that then you will feel better.
- Sometimes it can just be a lot of anger that you have built up inside of you. Do something to vent it.
- Stop beating your chest! It is not necessarily your fault.
- Learn to live with it. You were wrong so you have to live with the consequences. Many do.
Warnings
- Beware of the people you share your findings with. They can make things worse.
- Holding on to guilt will always hurt you. The best thing is to talk to someone about it.
