Falling out of love with someone isn't easy, whether it's an ex or unrequited love. Emotions can be overwhelming. However, over time, the help of friends and family and a lot of love for oneself, you will make it. Here are some ideas to get you back on track.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Stop Loving Someone Who Doesn't Like You
Step 1. Ask yourself if you really love this person
Sometimes you think you're in love with someone - the cute bartender from the corner bar, your best friend's sister, someone you know on the internet, or your favorite singer or actor - but it's just an infatuation or a crush. Yes, maybe you think about it all day and imagine what life would be like next to them, but if you've never spent time with them or they don't even know you exist, it can't be love.
- True love is reciprocated, it requires spending time with someone and knowing all their flaws and obsessions.
- If you have not experienced such a thing, then perhaps you are in love with the idea of this person, not with the person himself.
- If you can convince yourself that you are not in love - in the truest sense of the word - then it will be much easier to move on.
Step 2. Try to understand if there is hope of starting a story
The next thing to analyze is the situation and understand if there is the possibility of starting a relationship with the person you love. If there is a real possibility - for example it is a single person you met at school or at work with whom you haven't had the courage to strike up a conversation yet - then all is not lost and you may want to consider hooking up. courage and ask this person to go out with you.
- If, however, the person you love is your best friend's girlfriend, your English teacher, or, say, Leonardo di Caprio, then better limit the damage and move on. It will never happen.
- It might be tough, but the sooner you accept the facts, the easier it will be to move on.
Step 3. Make a list of all the reasons why it could never work
Making a list of concrete reasons why a relationship between you and this person would never work can be helpful when you can't help but think about it and need something to remind you of why you need to stop.
- It could be anything - from the fact that there are 30 years of difference between you, to the fact that he is gay, to the fact that you could never truly love someone who has the Celtic cross tattooed on their left bicep.
- Be brutally honest with yourself - your heart will thank you in the future.
Step 4. Develop relationships with willing people
Do yourself a favor and stop dying behind a person with whom you have no chance and focus your attention on someone more available. Maybe you were so busy loving someone far away that you didn't realize that your soul mate is right in front of your nose.
- Do you have that guy in mind who always offers to take you home? Or that girl who looks you in the eye and smiles at you every time she passes by. Focus on him / her.
- Even if nothing romantic will come about right away, it's always good for you to get involved and meet new people.
Step 5. Remember that you deserve to love someone who reciprocates you
Unrequited love is painful and is something no one deserves to live with forever, especially someone special like you. You deserve to be with someone who adores you, who considers you the center of their world, and who wants to spend the rest of their life with you. Forget that idiot who doesn't love you and don't settle for anything less than pure and unconditional adoration.
Try to use positive phrases to remind yourself how awesome you are. Look in the mirror and repeat five times I am a fabulous person who deserves to be loved. You may feel a bit stupid at first, but sooner or later these statements will do their duty
Method 2 of 4: Fall out of love with an Ex
Step 1. Accept that it's over
When a story ends, don't try to deny the evidence by clinging to false hopes. Don't convince yourself that she will come back or that he will change. Accept that your relationship is over. The sooner you do it the sooner you can turn the page.
Step 2. Give yourself a chance to get sick
When you are still in love with someone, ending a relationship can be a serious loss. You need time to cry for the love you have lost.
- Try to manage pain in a healthy way. Don't ignore your emotions and don't keep everything inside. Crying is good.
- Try to vent your frustration on a gym bag or curl up on the sofa with your favorite movie and tub of ice cream. Anything, as long as it makes you feel better.
Step 3. Cut off any contact
It may sound harsh, but the best way to heal a broken heart is to cut off all contact with the other. Staying in touch will make it harder to stop thinking about this person.
- Delete this person's number. That way you won't be tempted to write or call, especially when you are feeling particularly vulnerable and may say something you regret.
- Avoid places where you know you might meet him. Seeing it could rekindle feelings and memories that could overwhelm you.
- Cut contacts on social networks. Cancel the friendship on Facebook and stop following him on Twitter. It doesn't have to be permanent, but it will help in the beginning. It's hard to keep going when you're constantly checking for its status updates.
Step 4. Get rid of memories
Get rid of photos, clothes, books, games or CDs that belong to the other person. Destroy them if you think it could help you vent some anger (and that you won't regret it later!). Otherwise, put everything in a box and put it where you won't see it. Out of sight out of mind.
Step 5. Don't torture yourself
Don't torture yourself thinking about what went wrong or what you could have done differently. You cannot change the past and punishing yourself for already made (or imagined) mistakes is not good for you. It might seem impossible, but don't torture yourself with a thousand What if …
Step 6. Talk to someone
Talking to a friend, family member, or even a therapist can help you take some weight off your shoulders. Cry, yell, yell, yell. Verbalize any good or bad feelings you have towards this person - bring it all out. It's amazing how cathartic it can be to express yourself.
- Talk to someone you trust, and in a private place. You certainly don't want your innermost feelings and thoughts to get to your ex.
- Do not overdo it. Most people will be sympathetic and will gladly listen to you at first, but if you keep complaining for weeks you will soon sound like a broken record and people will lose patience.
Step 7. Give yourself time
Maybe now it seems like a cliched and meaningless sentence, but time really heals all wounds. Accept the fact that it will take a while before you feel like yourself again, but know that it will.
- Try to keep a journal to record how you feel each day. When you reread what you have written, perhaps in a couple of months, you will be surprised to see how far you have come.
- Don't rush to forget your ex or date someone new in no time. You will know when you are ready.
Method 3 of 4: Focus on Yourself
Step 1. Sleep
One of the best ways to take care of yourself is to make sure you get enough sleep. The quality of sleep can make a difference in how you feel every day. Sleeping gives your brain time to process - after a good night's sleep you can wake up fresher and with a new perspective on life. This is why good sleep is important when trying to forget someone.
- If you find it hard to fall asleep, give yourself an hour to relax before going to bed. Take a hot bath or read a book. Have some chocolate or chamomile tea. Stay away from televisions and electronic devices - they will stimulate brain functions instead of slowing them down.
- After a good night's sleep you will feel fresh and energetic - ready to take on the day. You will also look more rested and attractive and will be able to concentrate better during the day.
Step 2. Train
It's tempting to stay on the couch and feel sorry for yourself when you try to forget someone, but the best way to do it is by working out. No matter how - run, dance, climb, sign up for zumba - they all have the same positive effect. The workout will stimulate the hormones of happiness and you will be and will feel fabulous!
- It takes 30 minutes of training a couple of times a week to release the endorphins necessary to create the feeling of happiness and euphoria. In fact, studies have shown that training can even relieve the symptoms of the most severe and clinical depressions.
- Try training outdoors to get your fill of fresh air and vitamin D - you will feel better and less stressed immediately!
- Working out will lift your self-esteem at a time of particular need. Regardless of weight, size, gender or age, exercising can quickly increase the perception of one's beauty and personal worth.
Step 3. Meditate
Meditation helps fight stress and helps us get rid of unpleasant thoughts or emotions. Even 10 minutes of meditations a day will help relieve stress. Here are some tips to help you meditate effectively:
- Create a calm and peaceful atmosphere. Choose a place where you won't be disturbed. Turn the phone off. Choose relaxing music and dim the lights.
- Organized. Yoga mats or pillows will make you more comfortable while you meditate. A small fountain with running water nearby can be very relaxing. Light a few candles to perfume the air or simply create the atmosphere.
- Wear comfortable clothes. It will be difficult to relax your mind and forget about the world around you if you are uncomfortable.
- Sit cross-legged. Keep your back as straight as possible and don't slouch.
- Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Breathe naturally, possibly not through your nostrils.
- Try to clear your mind of all thoughts, just focus on your breath. Slowly the distracting thoughts will fade away and you will feel at peace and relaxed.
Step 4. Write
Writing can be incredibly cathartic. Put your worries and emotions on paper, and you will immediately feel lighter and freer. Try to keep a journal, or write a letter to your ex (which you will never send) to help you process your emotions. Reread your words and try to figure out what's really hurting you - and what you need from your next relationship.
- Also try to write a letter to yourself explaining why the relationship ended, regardless of who ended it (don't just remember the good times; remember the bad ones too).
- If you are creative, you can turn thoughts and emotions into poems and songs. Some of the best works were born from a broken heart.
Step 5. Pamper yourself
Now is the time to indulge yourself. Do what makes you feel good. Plan a day at the spa with your friends. Invite friends to watch the game and have a few beers. Get drunk. And above all: have fun.
Method 4 of 4: Start over from scratch
Step 1. Leave the past behind
Give yourself time to feel bad due to the end of your serious relationship, or a serious case of unrequited love, but after a while you will have to face the world again. Let go of the past and face this moment as a new beginning, a new chapter in your life. Remember, the best is yet to come!
Step 2. Go out with friends
It's time to reconnect with friends you may have overlooked while you were a couple. Call your childhood friends, the high school group or your flatmate at university. Reconnect with old friends and soon you will have such a busy social life that you will wonder what you have been up to in the last months / years of your life.
Step 3. Try something new
Now that you are no longer busy thinking about someone, you will have a lot of free time on your hands. It's time to reinvent yourself and become the person you've always wanted to be. Get redhead, take a Japanese class, train your abs. Take the opportunity to try something new and you may discover your hidden talent or a passion that you have neglected.
Step 4. Enjoy the single life
Take advantage of your newfound emotional freedom and the endless possibilities that a single life offers. Go out with friends, meet new people and flirt without shame. Didn't your ex like to dance? Go wild on the dance floor! Didn't he appreciate your best friend's sense of humor? Laugh all you want! Soon you will find yourself having so much fun that you will wonder why you wanted to be in a couple.
Step 5. Start dating other people again
When enough time has passed and you've enjoyed all that single life has to offer, you can think about starting dating someone again.
- If you have just gotten out of a long relationship, take it easy, makeshift relationships (the famous nail smashers) hardly work. If you start dating someone too early, you will end up comparing them to your ex, and it wouldn't be fair to this person.
- Start your new story with hope and optimism - and who knows? It could be "the right one"!
Advice
- Try not to think too much about this person (it will be difficult !!!!). However, it is possible if you try to focus on something else.
- Stay on your decision.
- Make up your look.
