This guide is useful for anyone who has had a relationship with a colleague, separated and need to continue working with this person. This article will show you how to deal with this situation, regardless of your past or present history.
Steps
Step 1. Clarify your feelings about your ex
Do you still have feelings for him? Admit it (to yourself, not the other person). Don't you really care about him anymore? Are you still angry, upset or hurt by the separation?
Step 2. Decide on your relationship with your ex
Will you be friends or will you avoid talking to him? If you think you will be able to date him again in the future, it is strongly recommended to maintain a friendship, even if not intimate. If you are sure you want to move on with your life, decide if you can build a friendship with this person or need to avoid it completely. If you are unsure of what may happen in the future, you had better be kind to him.
Step 3. Don't talk about your relationship at work
You shouldn't unleash anger or cry in either of you. Remember, keep a professional attitude at work.
Step 4. Don't discuss your relationship with a coworker for any reason, and don't say bad things about your ex without his knowledge
Eventually he would know, and you wouldn't make a good impression. Also consider, out of respect for yourself and your ex, that you probably don't want to let everyone know about your business. What you have been through was private and should remain between the two of you.
Step 5. Consider and learn to accept that you, or your ex, may be dating a mutual colleague in the future
It's hard to watch your ex flirt with other co-workers or clients, but you'll have to accept the fact that he's made it through, and you will have to do the same.
Step 6. If parents, friends, or people you met through your ex show up for work, say hello and be professional
Don't hide and don't ignore them, you just look immature.
Step 7. As difficult as it may be, be polite and kind towards your ex
Be the best person. Even if he is being mean, rude, or ignoring you, remember that you are a mature and professional person, so act accordingly.
Step 8. If your ex completely ignores you at work, do the same
If not talking or not recognizing each other's presence helps you work better, do it. Don't be afraid to talk to him, though, if you have a work-related topic to discuss.
Step 9. Don't play
Don't text your ex from coworkers, don't threaten to make him lose his job, and don't flirt with other people to make him jealous… it's stupid and not worth it. If you want to do something to get revenge, don't do it at work. At work, you would do nothing but put yourself in a bad light with your boss and co-workers.
Step 10. Let time heal your wounds
As with any breakup, it takes time to forget someone, and having to see them at work certainly doesn't help to move forward. Just let some time pass.
Advice
- Remember that you are a professional and act accordingly.
- Don't let your emotions interfere with your work. If working with your ex can change your mood, it can distract you.
- Always be kind. As much as your ex may hurt or disrespect you, you will show that you are a good, mature person who can treat everyone with respect. Even those who don't deserve it.
- Have fun at work… don't let your ex's presence ruin your life.
- If you are asked about your relationship, ignore them and keep working.
Warnings
- Think twice before dating another colleague… don't repeat the mistake twice.
- Don't involve other colleagues, or the situation could get worse.
- Watch out for malice behind your back from your ex and clear them up right away before they spread.
- It's hard to work with your ex, and it may never get easier, but try to do it right.
- If you are truly upset and heartbroken, you can consider changing jobs, but don't make any rash decisions before you think about it.
- You may have to deal with this person for a long time, so think about your actions and how they can affect your working life with them.
- If your ex is overdoing the breakup vendettas, talk to your boss about it and let him handle it.
