An always very embarrassing problem is figuring out if a co-worker has a crush on you. When someone you have a professional relationship with likes you, not only can you receive contradictory signals, but you are also unable to behave adequately due to the constraints normally present in the workplace. However, there are a number of ways to know if a co-worker is infatuated with you. By paying attention to his body language and talking to him, you can realize how he feels about you.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Interpreting Non-Verbal Communication
Step 1. Observe how he treats you at work
Try to evaluate how he interacts in your company. If a co-worker has a crush on you, they may enter your personal spaces more than they would if they didn't feel anything.
- Does he do it amiably without being aggressive? He probably wants to get close to you or show you his affection.
- Notice if he exceeds certain personal limits by touching your shoulder, hair, or arm, or if you meet repeatedly.
- Always observe how he behaves towards others before coming to the conclusion that he has feelings for you.
- Be careful not to confuse people who are used to talking close to their interlocutor or who do not understand and respect personal space with those who may have an interest in you.
Step 2. See if she always finds some excuse to be around you
Another way to tell if a coworker is infatuated with you is to see if they go out of their way to be around you. If this is the case, he may be attracted to you.
- If he has no concrete or useful reason to seek your company, chances are he has a crush on you.
- If he is often around you, but only out of necessity, he does not necessarily have a particular feeling towards you.
Step 3. Notice if he looks at you
Spend some time observing if his eyes are pointed in your direction. Combined with other signals, looks can indicate interest. Your co-worker may have a crush on you if:
- He gives you stealthy glances all day for no apparent reason.
- He stares at you, winks at you, or catches your eye during meetings or other occasions at work.
- Look at your shapes repeatedly.
Step 4. Watch her body language
Body language is very important in determining if a co-worker has a crush on you. By paying attention to the way he moves, you will get some important clues as to how he feels about you.
- Are you standing up friendly or relaxed? If he doesn't cross his arms or cross his legs, but is in a relaxed, relaxed posture, he may be interested in you.
- Does it seem closed? If he is with his arms folded, he may be nervous or not interested in you.
- Always evaluate your body language in relation to the other clues and cues it throws at you from time to time.
Part 2 of 3: Communicating with Your Colleague
Step 1. Notice if he fills you with compliments
Think about this. Compliments or positive remarks may indicate that he has a high regard for you or even likes you.
- If he always congratulates you on how you do your job, maybe it means that he appreciates you as a colleague.
- If he compliments you on your physical appearance or other reasons that have nothing to do with work, he may have a crush on you.
- Don't take his compliments as an indication that he has feelings for you. Evaluate them in the context in which you receive them.
Step 2. Consider the topics he brings up
Your conversations can provide you with pretty solid clues about how he feels about you. As a result, pay some attention to what he says and the kinds of conversations you have. Ask yourself:
- Do you share very personal information? If so, it is possible that with you he wants to go beyond mere knowledge.
- Are you talking about sex, intimate relationships or conquests? It could be a way to get your attention on this kind of subject.
- Does he confide in you? In this case, you are likely to see yourself as more than just a colleague.
- Does he invite you to go out? He may be interested in having a romantic relationship with you.
Step 3. Ask him a few questions about your relationship
Once you've noticed other signs, simply ask him if he likes you. While it's not easy, you might get the answer you are looking for.
- Ask him: "Do you think our relationship goes beyond the working environment?".
- If you don't want to be direct, try using some humor to ease the question. For example, you could make a joke about how other employees avoid you and then add, "I don't get the impression you hate me like everyone else."
- Be careful if you intend to suggest that you would like to have more than one business relationship with him.
Part 3 of 3: Avoiding Problems
Step 1. Learn about company policies that affect office relationships
Before you begin to understand if a colleague has a crush on you, you need to understand what are the business rules for romantic relationships born between people who work together. It's also important if you don't want to date, as gossip can cause problems too.
- Consult the behavioral rules for employees (if your company has provided them to you) under the heading relating to policies regarding romantic relationships that arise between colleagues.
- If you can't find the information you need, contact a human resources manager.
- If you are in a serious relationship with a colleague, tell your superiors.
Step 2. Avoid any behavior that could be construed as sexual harassment
When trying to find out if a co-worker has a particular interest in you, you must avoid any approach that could be construed as sexual harassment. It is not easy because every person is more or less sensitive to this problem and could misinterpret an observation that is innocent to your ears.
- Never make cheesy or overtly sexual comments in front of a person with whom you are not in a serious and willful relationship.
- Never touch a colleague unless you are invited to do so. Do not have any affectionate or sexual gestures in the workplace, even if you have a love affair with the other person.
- If you think someone has a crush on you and you feel uncomfortable telling them you're not interested, consider hiring a human resources manager.
- If someone makes advances to you despite your refusal, contact your company's management or human resources immediately.
Step 3. Don't make assumptions
When you want to know if a co-worker has a crush on you, the most important thing to do is to avoid making hasty conclusions if you don't have enough information. Otherwise, you risk doing or saying something that could get you in trouble or hurt the other person's feelings.
- Make sure you always have the correct information before making a decision on what to do.
- Don't change your attitude just because you think a co-worker has an infatuation with you.
- Don't expect dates or favors in exchange for sex or similar benefits from a coworker you think you like.
