While breaking up a couple is dangerous behavior, if you really think someone who is dating another is your soul mate, it may be worth a try. To break up a couple you will have to proceed with caution, first planting the seeds of doubt and then making the separation inevitable. If you want to know how, follow these steps.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Planting the Seed of Doubt
Step 1. Don't tell anyone about your plans
While you may not think there is anything wrong with what you are trying to do, the rest of the world may not agree with you. So, for now, don't tell anyone what you want to do, because not only might the news reach one person in the couple, but it could also prompt other people to try to stop you.
If separating the couple is really your goal, make sure it's the right thing. If the separation is caused by an external force (you) and not natural problems in the relationship, people may still have feelings for each other, which may resurface over time
Step 2. Become the confidant of the person you want to be with
If you want to separate the man or woman of your dreams with his other half, like the Iago dell'Otello (but with much less malice), you will have to insert yourself in the couple, in a slow but decisive way. To do this, you will need to gain the trust of the person you like, so that they confide in you. Be understanding, pleasant, and friendly, showing that you can listen. At first the person may not open up about their relationship, but over time they will.
One caveat: there's a difference between being the confidant of the person you're interested in and ending up in the Friends Zone. Make sure you are not being too friendly with the person or they will never be able to see you as a romantic interest
Step 3. Let the person open up about the flaws in their relationship
The worst thing you can do is openly criticize the person's relationship, criticize their partner, or make them feel like they are in a relationship with no future. This will make her feel angry, put her on the defensive, and help her find the determination to make things work. Nobody wants to admit failure, especially in a relationship, so you will have to wait for the person to admit a problem first.
- You can start by letting the other person talk about their relationship. Ask innocent questions. For example, if you know that her favorite band played in a local club the previous night but her boyfriend didn't show up, ask innocently if he liked the show.
- Ask questions about how she spent the evening. If she seems upset, say "How did you spend the weekend?" and wait for her to reveal the rest.
- Ask "How did it make you feel?" Stay vague with general questions that encourage the other person to talk - and see the cracks in their relationship.
- If you are unlucky, you may try to break up a couple that is in a great relationship and it will be difficult in this case for a person to reveal negative aspects. However, if you have managed to become the person's confidant, it is not very likely that their relationship is perfect.
Step 4. Play the role of the devil's advocate
When the person begins to reveal flaws in their relationship and all the problems with their partner, the worst thing you can do is say that you agree or say, "You deserve much better than that." You would immediately understand your ulterior motives. Instead, behave in a detached or confused way, forcing the other person to talk again and explain why he really feels unhappy - and why his partner isn't perfect.
- If the person has to explain their frustration and you keep them talking, they will notice their problems more.
- Just keep getting the person talking every time they say something negative. Asking her questions about her thoughts will make her explore issues more deeply.
- If you don't criticize his relationship, you will benefit from it in the future as well. If you end up together, no one will be able to tell her that you sabotaged her previous relationship.
Part 2 of 3: Making Separation Inevitable
Step 1. Be the person the person you want to be with is looking for
Without completely changing your personality, you can try to be the person that the person you are interested in is looking for. If she complains that her boyfriend never asks her how she feels, be sure to do it yourself. If she would like her boyfriend to share more interests with her, take a hike or try the new vegetarian restaurant with her.
- This is not as manipulative as it seems. If you want to be with someone for the right reasons, it's normal for you to do everything you can to please them, right?
- Do not make too striking gestures. If she complains that her boyfriend never does her a favor, bring her lunch or coffee when she has a hard day at work.
- Do not overdo it. Doing these things and doing your best to satisfy the person you like will naturally make you fall back into the role of boyfriend, but don't do anything too extreme, like get her flowers or tell her she's beautiful.
Step 2. Be more present
This does not mean that you should always be in the service of the other person. It just means that slowly, you should start dating her a little more, and then a lot more. Offer to give her a ride to school, grab a bite to eat, or play an innocent game of tennis until you've become part of her daily routine. Make sure you don't become obsessive and that the other person is organizing something together.
- Don't be too helpful. The other person needs to see that you have a life of your own - plus everything you do to try to break up their relationship.
- Being more present will help the other person understand what a relationship with you would be like. This should make her feel more confident about you.
Step 3. Take advantage of the other couple's weaknesses
Every couple has them. Let's say these are the kind of people who have a tendency to argue on important drinking occasions. Perfect - invite them to your next party. Let's say the guy who's with the woman of your dreams spends too much money - show him the new gadget he can't live without. If, on the other hand, you like a guy who has a girlfriend who is too obsessed with her looks; take her shopping.
- When you understand what's wrong with the couple - and it can be many, many things - you can do your best to make the situation worse. Turn that small crack into a chasm that they can't help but fall into.
- If one person in the relationship wants to get married and the other is reluctant, find ways to talk about marriage. Talk about your parents' anniversary, invite them to an engagement party, send them a catalog of diamond rings in the mail.
Step 4. Try to separate the members of the couple
Nothing makes a couple lose interest faster than having fun alone. Invite the girl of your romantic interest on a women-only date - or better yet, introduce her to a guy she's going to have a great time with. Do what you can to separate the two people as much as possible, making sure they have fun when they're not together.
Don't disclose your intentions. Naturally propose some activities that will keep them away
Step 5. Get close to the friends of the person you want to be with
If you really think that the person you like is in a terrible relationship and would be better off with you, their friends probably think the same way. In this case, you should become friends with his friends without attracting attention, but simply letting them know that you are a worthy person. This could raise questions like "Why are you still with that loser? Why don't you go out with [insert your name here] instead?"
When dating friends of your romantic interest, don't consider friends too much. Don't make him think you're only dating him for his friends; just point out that you would get along well with them
Step 6. Don't look desperate
There is a difference between becoming a close friend and being available and acting as if you always want to date the person you like, despite being in a relationship. Don't try to hang out on evenings that are normally dedicated to couples, or when you know the couple is spending time together. If you do, the other person may think that you will be acting desperate and clingy in a relationship - and no one wants such a partner.
You can make yourself available without writing or calling the person you like every five minutes. Set your trap and wait for the other person to come to you
Step 7. Make the person you like jealous
Nothing will make the person like you know what they are missing out on seeing you with another person by their side. This doesn't mean you should use someone to make the person you like jealous; Just spend more time with a close friend of the opposite sex or take part in some harmless dates and talk to her about it. You will be surprised at how quickly you will be seen in a new light and the situation will become more desperate. You will remind the other person that you will not be available forever.
This will make the other person think "Oh no! My best friend could get engaged… hey, wait, why am I interested? Maybe I have feelings for him?"
Step 8. React appropriately during separation
Unless it is clear that the person is breaking up the relationship for you, you shouldn't walk in right away and start trying to date the person you like. Instead, you should play the part of a good friend, listen with understanding, and give a shoulder to cry on as the person you like copes with the natural feelings of sadness that accompany any separation.
- Tell the person that you will always be available to talk and that you cannot imagine what they are going through.
- However, avoid speaking ill of your ex. Saying that the ex was a bad person or worse right after the breakup could upset the person you like.
- Find a way to make the person you like smile again. Give her a funny stuffed animal or take her to a comedy movie. Don't start with too romantic activities right away though.
Part 3 of 3: Making Your New Relationship Last
Step 1. Don't start in fourth gear
While you may have waited months (or more!) For the relationship to end, that doesn't mean you should move into her house, start dating her every night, and introduce your dream girl to family and friends. Instead, let some time pass. Even if you decide to go on a date right away, don't spend every moment of every day together - hang out with the person a couple of times a week, giving them time to heal.
The best thing to do is to give the other person time to recover and not hang out with them until they're ready. But if the feelings are true and strong, it won't be easy
Step 2. Avoid talking about your ex as much as possible at first
Even if you and your new girlfriend have spent hours talking about her previous relationship, now is not the time to remember it. While you shouldn't pretend the ex never existed, you should avoid talking about him until the person has had enough space - it could take months, or even a year.
Of course, if the person really wants to talk about their past relationship, you shouldn't dismiss the topic. But you can say that you think that in order to focus on your new relationship, you should leave the past behind until you have a firmer foundation
Step 3. Enjoy your new relationship
Don't think about the past and don't worry too much about being the perfect mate - just be yourself. If you are truly meant to be together, you will find a routine that works for you and you will find the path to happiness. Don't compare yourself to your ex, don't try to be anything that wasn't him, or someone you aren't.
- You've certainly used some bad tactics to bring your new relationship to life, but if you want it to last, you should only think about the two of you together - and nothing else.
- Even if you were close friends before you were together, you should find new things to do together as a couple that may not make you think about the past.
Step 4. Don't get paranoid about the past, or your relationship won't last
You may find yourself in a difficult situation. Your new partner broke up with her ex for you - who assures you it won't happen again if she finds someone even more "perfect" than you? No one can promise you that it won't happen, but in order not to lose your mind and have a good relationship, you will need to convince yourself that the previous separation was the right thing and that you are his soul mate. It won't happen again.
- If you always wonder what your ex is doing or feel jealous when your partner spends time with people of the opposite sex, you will put your relationship on the road to failure.
- If your relationship is truly made to last, in the long run you will find that you will stop worrying about your ex and past relationships. But it could take months - or even years. But if you are made to be together forever, putting a stone on the past will be worth it.
Advice
- It is important that you are not identified as the cause of the separation, or they will not trust you and will also be resentful.
- If a relationship is already winding down, they will break up without help. Consequently, you don't have to do anything.
- If the couple you want to break up is your friend, you will need to keep the relationship that follows secret.
- You have to go out with one of them (never the other). Make sure you always jump out in their conversations. Make sure they never talk to each other. Write a message to one so that he does not talk to the other.
Warnings
- It is very difficult to separate a couple who have just gotten together and are still in the honeymoon phase.
- If you decide to take the last step make sure no one knows you are doing it, don't get caught in the act.
- This could be considered morally incorrect.
- Be careful not to get caught in the middle of an argument between boyfriends.
