Teens can be difficult to control as they are exposed to many new things, such as drugs, violence, etc. They can also develop ideas and opinions on their own, and their personalities can change. If you want to know how to handle all this and educate a teenager (boy or girl), then this article is for you.
Steps
Step 1. Communicate
Many parents stop trying to bond with their children after having severe disagreements. The best way to maintain a relationship is to keep trying to communicate with them. Don't give up if it doesn't work - every now and then it will work. Be careful not to be too oppressive though.
Step 2. Always be there when he wants to talk to you and ask you for advice
If he feels he can reach out to you and that you will always be there, he is more likely to be open to you. It may sound silly, but it really helps. Not only will your relationship with him improve, but you will likely become more aware of what he does and what he thinks. So make sure you support him, and always be approachable. Don't judge him, and don't scold him when he's wrong. Mistakes are part of life. "Live and learn," is a popular saying for good reason. Support him when he makes a mistake, and help him understand: how to fix it, the lesson to be learned; how to avoid similar mistakes in the future; the wrong mental process that led to that mistake; etc.
Step 3. Don't make comparisons, like "Why can't you be like _?
"Teens can't be perfect - they have a lot more to do than their parents think. The teens are very stressful, as they have to find time to finish homework (so parents don't get mad about bad things). grades) and to have a social life. Teens have to deal with other things as well, like not being influenced by others, not hanging out with the "wrong" people and avoiding gossips. And the list is endless.
Step 4. Don't be on him all the time
Occasionally, it can get out of control, leading you to yell at it or argue with it. Sometimes he just does it to protect himself. For example: if you believe that he is doing something wrong and you reprimand him heavily, it is natural for him to get defensive and not admit the mistake. Nobody (not even parents) likes to make mistakes. Other times he will try to talk to you. It is difficult to communicate with a parent who keeps yelling at you. Sometimes he might say something like, "You don't understand," because he really feels that way. Try to find a friend or someone else to talk to if this happens.
Step 5. Be informed
If it's easy to lie to you, he'll take advantage of it. Plus, if you have no idea what's happening to them, big changes could happen without you knowing. So be informed. Make sure you always know where he is, and that he really is where he says he is. Know who he goes out with, which team he is on or which gym he goes to. Don't get fooled. And don't let him lie to you - don't take everything he tells you at face value. Some parents believe that their children would never lie to them, but you would be surprised at how things really are.
Step 6. Establish ground rules, and make sure they are followed
If you start creating rules every two seconds, you will confuse it and things will get out of hand. Then establish some basic rules and conditions, and state them clearly. Make sure he respects them. If she has to do her homework before going out, make sure it really is. Don't get permissive - be strict but fair with the rules.
Step 7. Punish wrong behaviors, and make sure the punishment is effective
If you punish him by commandeering his stereo when he still has an iPod to carry around, then it won't work much. Confiscate from him the things you are sure he cannot have anything else like it. Take away their privileges. Make sure you master the art of punishment - don't lock him indoors for a year because he didn't clean the room. And at the same time, don't take his TV off for a week if he has done damage to someone's home. Make sure the punishments are commensurate with the "crime".
Step 8. Reward good behaviors
If he gets a lot better at something, reward him. If he does something good without being asked, reward him. You don't have to go out and buy him a car for every good thing he does, of course, but if he does something really good, then reward him. Have him throw a party when he generally wouldn't be allowed - such a thing. If it's a small thing, don't do something big to him, but make sure you give him credit. Small rewards do big things.
Step 9. Be fair
If you are a fair parent, he or she is likely to obey your rules. Make sure you make some rules right, and always consider his side of things. Don't assume he's wrong, and don't punish him unfairly. If you are right, his behavior will probably be better. However, don't let him take advantage of it.
Step 10. Be positive
Instead of saying, "You don't do enough," or, "I expected more from you," try saying something like, "I'm glad you did but _." Telling him he's not good enough or anything like that not only damages his self-esteem, but makes him even more stressed and angry. Compliments help a lot.
Advice
- Try to figure it out. Teenagers often feel misunderstood, and make hasty decisions based on these feelings. So try to put yourself in his shoes, and let him know.
- Say things like, "Why do I say so!" and "I am the adult, not you!" they will only show him how not to be a parent. Always try to see things from his point of view and explain to him even when you think it would not be necessary.
- Never be violent, verbally or physically. He would not forget it. It is okay to get angry, but not to beat him or say terrible words to him.
- Parental hypocrisy (do as I tell you but don't do as I do) is very frustrating and irritating.
- There is no point in telling a teenager to leave and get a job, as well as illegal.
Warnings
- Some teens know how to adapt to punishment and manipulate you without you realizing it (they probably know you better than you think).
- Some learn fast, some don't. As difficult as it is, keep insisting.
