Playing the roles of student and parent at the same time can be quite overwhelming. If you have children and are considering going back to school, you may be wondering how to find time to reconcile your responsibilities towards the children with those of the school. You may have been able to study late into the night when you were younger, but managing a child with little or no sleep is sure to lead to physical breakdown - and study is undoubtedly affected as well. However, with a little planning, patience and consistency you can definitely find a compromise between parenting and student roles.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Making the Most of Your Time at Home
Step 1. Schedule time for study
Take a calendar or diary and set a specific time (at least once a day) to study without the slightest distraction. You may find that you can't always stick to that schedule, but keeping a routine can help you become as efficient as possible and prevent parenting from ruining your home study time.
- You can do different tests by finding different times during the day and the evening, to understand which is the best for you. Can you concentrate better right after work? After dinner? Late in the evening? Only you can understand what is the most suitable time.
- Consider creating a rolling study schedule if your parenting duties and other commitments change overnight; just be sure to write them down on paper so you don't forget them and risk breaking the routine. The more constant you are, the easier it becomes to "stay on track".
- Planning the study does not exclude that you can add a few more moments to devote to textbooks, when you have the time; in fact, this way you can distribute the workload better and feel less overloaded.
Step 2. Define a physical space in the house to study in
If possible, find a place where you can focus on the books with very few distractions. For this strategy to be effective, prevent children from entering the room; In addition to helping you stay focused, this trick keeps kids from messing around with tasks that you still have to finish or the pages of the book you are studying.
- If you don't have a specific space in the house to devote to studying, at least try to have a box, drawer, or cabinet to store your school supplies in when you're not using it, so that it stays safe.
- If you have a space to study, but can't stop the kids from staying out of it, at least make sure they learn not to go in or bother you when you're focused on books, unless it's an emergency.
Step 3. Try to plan study moments "around" family commitments
Setting up a study session is certainly useful, but you also need to look for shorter moments throughout the day that you can dedicate to this activity. In this way, the school commitment will integrate perfectly between the different family responsibilities and you will not have the feeling of wasting time with the children.
Study a little before dinner, while the pasta is boiling or while the roast is cooking in the oven; you can enter a study session when you wait for your child to finish soccer training or while you wait in line during the different errands. This allows you to maximize the time spent studying without negatively affecting family commitments
Step 4. Get help from your children
If they are old enough, assign them household chores to do while you study; that way, they are busy and you can focus better on your tasks. This method also offers the advantage of teaching children the work ethic while at the same time getting the housework done.
- If your children are of school age, setting a rule that they should do their homework while you are busy with books helps to avoid distractions.
- If they are too young to do housework, asking for help may not be an ideal solution; however, even the little ones can be assigned "fake" tasks that may seem like a game, such as sweeping.
- If they refuse to follow these rules, consider developing a system of scores and rewards they receive on each completed task; for example, working two hours can earn half an hour uninterrupted to devote to television programs.
Step 5. Talk to your partner for support during the study period
If you have a mate or partner who lives with you and the children, discuss the time you want to devote to study. You can ask him to help you and assist you when you try to study during the day; he can take care of the children when you are busy with books or help them with their homework when you are not able.
Don't be afraid to ask for help. Parents should work as a team and your partner should support your desire to achieve school goals
Step 6. Find outside help
If you have the option of paying someone to help you with the children or with household tasks (such as cleaning or cooking), you can consider this option; by doing so, you can free yourself from a lot of commitments and have time to dedicate to books when necessary. If you can't afford to pay a domestic worker, try arranging with friends and family to exchange a variety of services with them. This kind of solution has benefits for everyone and allows you to study without having to look after the children.
- If your spouse lives with you, they are certainly able to take on a few more responsibilities to supervise the children on their own a few evenings a week; in theory, this is a topic you should address before deciding to go back to school.
- If you have chosen to hire a babysitter while you study, look for someone who fits your timing and who is available to look after the children according to the study schedule.
Part 2 of 3: Benefits from School Attendance
Step 1. Attend all classes
Family obviously has priority for most people, but if you are committed to getting back to school, you need to take this into consideration. Skipping classes because you feel guilty about leaving your family only reduces the benefits you can enjoy from your studies. If school is important to you, make sure you make the most of the opportunity by attending all the lessons.
- Occasionally, family situations or commitments can conflict with school ones, forcing you to take absences. If unavoidable unexpected events arise, remember to explain the situation to the teacher and discuss with him how you can recover.
- If you are unable to attend classes, ask classmates to pass your notes to you; however, remember that this is a fallback and that notes cannot replace your presence during class.
Step 2. Pay close attention in class
Attending classes is important, but it is not enough to succeed in your studies. If you make a commitment to go to school, try to make the most of this opportunity by actively participating in discussions, asking questions, and diligently taking notes on the subject. Taking a little more effort in class means studying less at home and having more time for the children.
Think of the time you spend in class as the primary opportunity to learn without distractions. This is a time when you are sure you are not bothered, don't waste it then worrying about what you need to do at home or feeling guilty about not being with the kids
Step 3. Simplify the school timetable
When choosing the courses to attend, pay attention to the days, hours and locations where the lessons take place. Spend some time setting up a schedule that is easy to stick to. Try to group your classes so that you don't have to go to university several times a day, but only a couple of days a week.
- If possible, use public transport to get to and from school so that you have extra time to study on the way; in this case, you must check that the train and bus schedules are compatible with those of the lessons.
- If you don't work, try to schedule lessons while the children are in school; this way, you minimize the time you spend away from them.
Step 4. Take advantage of the opportunities made available by the school
Universities typically offer several services to help students prepare, manage time, and even complete homework. Ask the school advisor or academic tutor for information about these possibilities or read the university website to find out which services you can access.
- Ask the school counselor to help you and advise you when you need it; this person is one of the most valuable resources you have at your disposal, because they are able to maximize your efforts.
- Do not forget the resources that are indirectly related to the study; this means being able to access the university's health clinic, services for the disabled and recreational facilities. The more you feel guaranteed by your rights, the better your chances of being successful in your studies.
Step 5. Study while you are in university
Look for classrooms dedicated to self-study, to spend some time on books between classes or while you wait for traffic to subside before heading home. The university library typically has classrooms where you can find large desks, access to computers, textbooks, and a quiet, relaxed atmosphere.
- Depending on how far the university is from your home, you may also want to consider making these school spaces the place to do all of your "post-class" homework, thus avoiding the distractions in the home.
- Keeping school life separate from home life allows you to make the most of your time, because you avoid entering into the role of "parent" and "student" at the same time; after all, it is common knowledge that children do not allow their parents to have time of their own.
Step 6. Make an appointment with the professor during student reception hours
Teachers set times for students to dedicate individually outside of classroom lessons. This is the first chance you have of getting personalized help with projects, assignments and topics that are difficult for you. Try to integrate these moments into your weekly school diary, even if you don't desperately need help; by doing so, you can establish a personal relationship with the teacher and avoid having to reorganize the programming, in case you need to clarify some concepts.
- If the teacher's office hours are not compatible with your schedule, explain the situation to him and ask him if he can give you an appointment right before or after class.
- If you are a distance learner (you attend the online lessons), the professor probably makes available moments in which he can be contacted privately electronically; remember to use this opportunity as if it were "live".
Part 3 of 3: Making Life Easier
Step 1. Trust yourself
Try not to indulge in negative thoughts, such as fear of having been out of school for a long time, being much older than other students, or the idea that you shouldn't take so much time from your family. Remind yourself that you are doing it to improve yourself, that you have the support of family members, the maturity and the experience to succeed in this goal.
- Deciding to go back to school is one of the most difficult steps; once you have undertaken it, find comfort in the fact that you have made an important decision and that you are now in the right position to benefit from it.
- Remember that you are doing something valuable for yourself, that you are on a path to improve and this will have a positive impact on your children in the long run; abandon any belief that it is a selfish choice or that it can harm children.
Step 2. Keep up with homework
If you have been given a curriculum, take the time to plan it so that you can complete your homework on time. You may need to study more before exams or due dates. Being prepared for the future prevents you from falling behind, which would make it very difficult to recover due to commitments with children and school.
- A good way to keep up with your study is to spend some time each day on books instead of "grinding" the night before the final exam. If you are consistent and can only dedicate 20 minutes a day to your school commitments, this commitment will add up in your favor.
- If you find it difficult to keep up with the rhythm of the lessons, ask the teacher for extra help in understanding the concepts and more contribution from the spouse in managing the children; alternatively, ask the babysitter to work an extra half hour a day.
Step 3. Set reasonable expectations
From whatever point of view you look at it, it is not at all easy to be a student-parent. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself by expecting great results in every field. Your academic goals should be based on what you hope to achieve in the long term and contextualized with your private and family life: are you studying just for fun or do you have to do it to keep your job?
- Strive to pass the exams, work towards this goal and be proud of any more results you can achieve.
- At worst, if you fail an exam, you will have to take it again at a later time. This is less serious than neglecting children in favor of studying; your priorities as a parent should define your reasonable academic goals.
Step 4. Don't feel guilty about studying
While it can be difficult to find a balance between school and family, you should try not to blame yourself for not spending time with children. You can still be a caring parent and achieve your personal goals, especially if you have organized school commitments "around" family life.
You can think of your study engagement as a positive behavior that your children can model. Your ability to reconcile school and home can become an example that children observe and can refer to in the future
Step 5. Take some time to be comfortable with the family
Do not allow studies to consume your whole life and do not miss the special events of children. If necessary, schedule time to devote to fun activities to do with them or to relax together; this way, you don't feel exhausted, you find relief from the guilt generated by spending a lot of time at school and helping the whole family to stay together.
- Family time includes attending the children's end-of-year play or a sporting event that involves them, watching a movie together or even taking a short vacation; make sure you have time for all those activities that keep the family together.
- In the future, you will regret missing your child's play much more than a school lesson or even an exam; this is something you need to consider when developing a program and setting priorities.
Advice
- Learn to recognize when you take "the longest step of the leg". Don't feel guilty if you need to prioritize your responsibilities and if you feel the need to cut commitments.
- Don't forget to take time to relax, exercise and enjoy your pastimes; in this way, you can stay focused during the study moments and maintain a positive attitude.
- Make children aware of the importance of study. If they understand that this is valuable to you, they will be more likely to leave you alone and quiet when you need it.
Warnings
- Don't sacrifice your well-being just to attend extra courses; if you are too tired to maintain high standards in school, you could have serious health consequences and still do not achieve good academic results.
- Be careful not to neglect the emotional and psychological needs of the children. If your child always has the feeling that he is being ignored in favor of studying, he may suffer from the fact that you are studying and come to misbehave.
