Learning to express yourself healthily can be a wonderful way to live an authentic and more fulfilling life. Practicing expressing yourself and being faithful to who you are is essential to increase self-esteem, release emotions and forge the life you want.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Lay the Foundation
Step 1. Listen to yourself
Self-expression, or the ability to sincerely communicate and demonstrate one's feelings, is an important factor in embarking on the journey towards discovering who we really are. You can start doing this by listening to yourself, how you feel and how you want to react to a situation. This can put you more in tune with your feelings and emotions, helping you to start expressing yourself.
Step 2. Acknowledge your emotions
Emotions can be complicated, and it can be difficult to learn to listen to and recognize these feelings. You may not even know how to express them safely. You probably don't have much experience in really tuning in to how you feel. It is normal to put them aside, to feel embarrassed, to be ashamed of the emotions you may be feeling or to completely hide them.
- For example, a friend of yours forgets you were supposed to go out and doesn't show up or call you. It is normal to feel angry and nervous in this situation. Recognize that your emotions of anger and annoyance are valid and understandable; don't belittle them, even if he apologizes. You had every right to prove and legitimize them.
- By getting in tune with your emotions you will be more in touch with who you really are. The closer you feel to your true self, the less anxiety, depression, and dissatisfaction you may experience in life in general.
Step 3. Focus on how your body reacts
This could be a completely new experience. One of the best ways to tune in to how you feel is to be aware of your body. An easy way to check this is to notice how it responds to a tense situation. You can start with something very simple, like the anger you feel when you get stuck in traffic: whether you take public transport or drive a car, you have probably felt frustrated or angry on the street and you may be able to identify this feeling..
Notice which parts of your body tense, what happens to your breath, and what happens to your abdomen or stomach
Method 2 of 4: Write down how it feels
Step 1. Write a feeling diary
Start writing down your feelings in a feeling journal, which can be a small notebook or even a mobile device. Do this the next time you watch a tear-jerking movie to write down the sadness you feel. Describe how you physically react to this emotion. Is it hard for you to cry? What do you feel in your chest when you feel sad?
Try not to use your head too much while writing in the feeling journal and stay focused on your body's reactions. This will help you be more in tune with your true feelings, instead of wiping out the emotions
Step 2. Master your emotions
You may have a habit of telling yourself that you are foolish to feel a certain way. You may even care that you don't feel that way. As you get used to recognizing your body's response to emotions, it will be harder to shake them off. Your body reacts that way for a reason and it's important not to belittle it. Take the diary and start writing down all the different feelings you have experienced throughout the day.
- For example, you could write, "The boss made me angry at work today." Validate that anger and write why you felt this way. Do it for all the emotions you feel every day. You may be surprised at the rich emotional landscape you have inside of you once you start paying attention to it.
- Human beings are naturally emotional and it's easy, in such a fast-paced world, to feel disconnected from what our true feelings are.
Step 3. Write how you would like to express yourself
To better express yourself emotionally each day, explain in writing how you want to handle each situation. So you can test how you would act in certain situations. Using a boss or other authority figure again as an example, start writing exactly what you would tell him. Have no filters and let the words come out blunt and brutal.
If you saw something that made you sad that day, such as a person in distress or a lost animal, write your sadness in your journal without censoring yourself. Also keep noting how your body physically responds
Method 3 of 4: Express yourself verbally
Step 1. Express yourself confidently
You need to figure out how to translate your emotions from their raw, natural state into something productive that doesn't hurt others. Part of learning to express your emotions is to do it safely, without harming yourself or others. Use the journal to reframe your angry thoughts into sentences that express and validate how you feel, without getting fired or getting into trouble.
- For example, instead of yelling in someone's face and telling them you hate them, use your journal to write down different ways of expressing this without affecting your life. Write sentences like "When my boss does this, I feel frustrated" or "When my parents scold me, I feel angry." You are giving yourself the power to feel your emotions without letting them have power over you.
- It also works for other emotions.
Step 2. Put your plans into action
It's important to feel comfortable with your emotions as it's not all white or all black in life. This will allow you to let them guide you as to when it is time to speak or when it is best to express your feelings in private and move on.
- For example, employers can be very frustrating. However, you must always ask yourself what your advantage will be. Will your boss listen to you? Will your manager understand? Would it be healthier to express your anger at home by journaling rather than engaging in discussion? Make sure you are true to your emotions and are working on the right form of expression.
- Most people have never seen healthy examples of how to express their emotions, and these basic emotional tools have remained absent from our lives. Expressing emotions is an essential part of living an emotionally healthy life, setting boundaries in relationships, feeling validated, and meeting your emotional needs.
Step 3. Speak in first person
Always make affirmations yourself when expressing your feelings to others. Say things like, "When you told me what happened, I felt very sad for you and what you are going through." This technique can also be used in relationships. For example, you might say "When you get angry at me for making a mistake, I feel ashamed" or "When you say negative things about me, I get angry."
In this way you take full responsibility for yourself, your emotions and the expression of how you feel
Step 4. Practice
Learning to navigate the complex range of emotions you feel can be daunting and will take a lot of practice. If you are not used to expressing your emotions, you can consider this exercise almost like "emotional weight training". At first, your "emotional muscles" may be sore, weak, and unaccustomed to being used and considered so carefully.
Exploring your innermost self and learning to express yourself is not easy. However, living an authentic life and feeling like you are honoring yourself and validating your emotions will result in a richer, deeper, and more humanly authentic life experience
Method 4 of 4: Express Yourself Creatively
Step 1. Try painting or drawing
Find ways to express yourself creatively that make you happy. Try painting or drawing if you think you might like it. Acrylic paints are inexpensive and can be used on virtually any surface. Focus on the colors and try to understand what emotions they convey.
- Grab a sketchbook and try sketching, tuning in to how you feel inside. Many art schools and museums offer free life drawing sessions if you wish to start in a more structured environment.
- Allow your inner self and deeper emotions to guide you as you create. Taking time to sit and paint or draw can be relaxing. Don't judge your ability: expressing yourself creatively doesn't mean becoming the next Leonardo da Vinci, it's just the act of creating. Learning to express yourself means learning to know yourself. Unleashing the creative side of yourself can be a surprising and fulfilling way to understand who you really are.
Step 2. Start creating collages
Making collages is a fun hobby that will allow you to express your creativity. All you need are old magazines or any surface that reproduces printed images, some cardboard and a glue stick. Find images that are in tune with how you feel and what you want to express. Use words and titles to connote the figures.
Don't limit yourself to just cardboard. Create a collage on the cover of your journal or sketchbook. Decorate an old box, folder or any other object you want to test your creativity on. Express how you feel politically, spiritually, generally or about your personal history
Step 3. Dance
Sometimes expressing yourself through physical movement can help release your inner feelings and desires. Feel comfortable with your body by moving and dancing. Do it in the privacy of your home or go to a nightclub. Listen to music that you like and that matches your mood.
- If you are angry, listen to music that reflects that anger and let your body move. Do the same if you feel happy, sad or scared. Try dancing to music that can help change your mood, such as a song that makes you feel stronger if you're scared or a happy tune if you're feeling sad.
- Take classes if you want to dance in a more structured environment. Many dance studios offer beginner programs that don't require a huge time commitment. Take a basic course in hip hop, jazz or ballet, as long as it suits you and your personality well.
Step 4. Devote yourself to creative writing
A great way to express yourself is to do it through writing. Write poetry or short stories using images that are truly based on your feelings and life. Focus on how you feel, then just write. Abandon any expectation of perfection; you can even avoid showing your writings to other people. Expressing yourself creatively is all about you, the time it takes to learn who you are and who the tangled person inside you is.
Freeing yourself with writing can be extraordinarily enlightening - it can provide you with insights full of thoughts and feelings that you may not even be aware that you have inside of you
Step 5. Sing
Singing is a wonderful activity, even if you are not good at it. You can sing anywhere, in the car, in the shower or in the living room. Try not to have any expectations of vocal skill or mastery and just let your voice out. Tune in to your emotionality and sing songs you feel in tune with.
- Sing songs that match your feelings, such as sadness, loss, anger, love, and happiness. Feel free to be yourself through singing.
- If singing really makes you feel like yourself, you can do it in the real world too. Try karaoke or join a singing group from your community. Get close to music that makes you feel like you are expressing your life, your feelings and yourself.
