Good communication is the key to success, whether you are speaking in front of a large audience or wanting to make your friend understand something. If you want to know how to speak well and confidently, you need to have confidence in yourself, speak slowly and carefully, and be strongly convinced of what you are saying. If you want to know how to make your listener's ears seem intelligent and thoughtful, read Step 1 to get started.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Speak Confidently
Step 1. State your views with conviction
Before you speak, you need to make sure you truly believe what you say, whether to say that you love Battiato's latest album or that growing inequality between people should be the primary concern of the Italian government. You don't have to sound arrogant to prove your idea and to make others believe that you are sure of what you say. You don't even have to expect approval from the interlocutor.
It's all about how you say it. If you start a sentence by saying "I think …" or "But maybe …", it is logical that everything you say next will never have the same strength as a simple affirmation without hesitation
Step 2. Look the other person in the eye
If only for the fact that you have to do it out of politeness. Also, looking someone in the eye will make them listen carefully to you. Find some friendly faces to focus on by raising your confidence level as you speak, and you will get the message across more clearly. If you keep your eyes on the floor you will not seem confident, and if you look around while you speak, people may think that you are distracted or that you have something better to do.
- Look people in the eye as you talk to them - you may look away from time to time for a moment, but generally focus on the eyes of the people you have a conversation with.
- If you see that someone is confused or worried as you speak, ask yourself if you have been clear enough. Either way, you don't want to let a single confused person make you lose your train of thought.
- If you're talking to a really large audience, you can't look everyone in the eye from first to last, just focus your gaze on a few people in the audience.
Step 3. Use some shortcuts to speak better
You will probably have to speak in public someday. While it may seem intimidating, the benefits of being able to speak well outweigh any perceived fear. To become a more capable speaker, remember the following strategies (purposely written schematically to facilitate memorization):
- Plan everything properly.
- Practice.
- Engage the audience.
- Pay attention to body language.
- Think and speak positively.
- Overcome anxiety.
- Listen to recordings of your speeches to improve from time to time.
Step 4. Familiarize yourself with the environment
Get there early, walk along the area where you will be speaking and try out the microphone and any visual aids in the presentation. If you know what awaits you and if you get an idea of where you will be staying, what the crowd will be like, and what you will feel as you move as you speak, it can definitely decrease your anxiety level. It is much better to know what awaits you than to have a big surprise - which could blow your confidence - on the day of the event itself.
If you want to familiarize yourself with the environment even better, you can also introduce yourself the day before the speech to get an idea of what it will be like
Step 5. Visualize success
Visualize yourself in the speech. Imagine yourself speaking out loud, in a clear and confident tone. Visualize the audience cheering - it will raise your level of confidence. Close your eyes and imagine your safest and most capable version of yourself talking about yourself in the audience, raving about your words. Or, if you feel tense about speaking in front of a rather small group of people, imagine yourself talking to a small group of friends. Imagining the whole scenario of what will happen can make you much more successful.
That way, when the big moment has come, remember what you visualized - how can you accomplish what you imagined?
Step 6. Know your audience
Knowing who you are going to talk to can be a huge help in doing so with greater confidence. If you are addressing a large audience, it is important to know the origin of the people who make it up, their age and what their level of knowledge is on the topic you are going to talk about. This way you can prepare a more suitable speech. If you talk to a lot of people, make sure you know as much about them as possible - their politics, the kind of humor - so that you always say the right thing (and avoid saying the wrong one).
One of the reasons public speaking causes anxiety is because you are afraid of the unknown; that's why you need to gather as much information as possible
Step 7. Use body language that expresses confidence
Body language can play a role in making you look and feel confident. If you want to use body language that expresses confidence, here's what you need to do:
- Get into an upright posture.
- Avoid hunching your shoulders.
- Don't wave your hands nervously.
- Avoid constantly moving around like a top.
- Look straight ahead instead of at the ground.
- Keep your face and body relaxed.
Step 8. Know the topic you are talking about
Choose a topic that interests you. Learn more about it if it's part of a speech or conversation. If you have a lot of knowledge on the subject, you will feel more confident when it comes to talking about it. If you only prepare a speech the night before and are scared of receiving questions that you don't know the answer to, you can be sure that your confidence will be put to the test. Knowing about the subject 5 times more than you need to say will make you feel more prepared for the big day.
If you leave time for questions at the end of the talk, ask a friend if they can do a tutorial with you; have your friend ask some complex questions to prepare you for what's to come
Step 9. Praise yourself every day
Doing so will improve your self-esteem, and having it is essential when you talk. With higher self-esteem, people will take your thinking more seriously. Don't think you need to be perfect to give yourself sincere compliments and make sure you appreciate the wonderful person you are. Remind yourself of all the great things you have been able to accomplish and have worked hard on. Look in the mirror and say at least three things about yourself, or make a list of all the good things that make you who you are.
If you can't think of anything to praise yourself for, then maybe you need to boost your self-esteem. Build it by focusing on something you do well, correcting your flaws, and spending time with people who love you and who make you feel good about yourself
Method 2 of 3: Speak Well
Step 1. Speak in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear
Even if you don't have to scream, you have to speak loud enough that you don't have anyone asking you to repeat what you say. If you speak softly, people will think that you are shy and that you are not convinced by your statements - that you, in short, do not want to be heard.
- If you speak softly, not only will others not be able to hear what you say, but you will also be submissive instead of confident.
- On the other hand, though, you don't have to speak loudly enough to overpower everyone's to make yourself heard. Words alone should attract all attention, not their volume.
Step 2. Expand your vocabulary
Read as much as you can, from online magazines to serious literature like "Anna Karenina". The more you read, the more knowledge you will have and the broader your lexicon will be. You will learn new words and understand new phrases without even realizing it, and soon you will start using the words you have read even when you speak. You can't have a narrow vocabulary if you really intend to speak well.
- That doesn't mean you have to spend a fortune on books for your speeches or everyday conversations. Already a few more "researched" words can make you seem smarter to the interlocutor's ears, but they will not give the impression that you are trying your hardest.
- Write the words in a notebook. Write down any new words you come across as you read and write down the definition.
Step 3. Avoid slang excesses
If you want to be a person who speaks well, you can't use jargon or phrasebook that is too dialectal and everyday. Obviously, with a certain type of audience it is good not to be too formal and rigid, but you cannot start with a "Bella raga" or another phrase in fashion today.
Of course, you can use any kind of language when talking to friends, but if you're targeting a more mature audience and want to speak well, you need to be more formal
Step 4. Don't be afraid of breaks
Some people see pauses as a sign of weakness, but this isn't true at all. It is right to pause to collect thoughts and mentally formulate the sentence to be pronounced next. It is much worse to speak too fast and appear to be running, agitated, or even saying something that you may regret later. In your speech you should not speak fast, but reflexively: only then will the pauses be natural.
If you use verbal pauses (like "uh," "uhm") while talking, don't worry about it too much. It is just a way of "getting into mental gear", and even the most prominent politicians and diplomats use them frequently. If you feel like you are using them too often, you can try to make an effort to decrease them, but there is no need to avoid them altogether
Step 5. Gesture only when absolutely necessary
Gesturing while speaking is a great way to get to the point and emphasize words. But don't use your hands or gestures excessively while you speak, or you will look a little agitated, as if you have to gesticulate to compensate for missing words. Instead, keep your hands at your sides and use them only in a few key moments, when they will help you understand something better.
Step 6. Be more concise
Another aspect of speaking well includes what not to say. You may think you have to give ten examples to prove something, but in reality it would only take one or two, and your ideas will stand out more strongly because you have chosen the best spots instead of making a shower of examples pour out like "open sky" on the audience you are targeting. If you have to make a speech, every word has a weight; and even to talk to friends, it is wiser to avoid ranting.
If you need to make a speech, write it first and then say it out loud. Reading the words can help you find repetitions and points to cut
Step 7. Repeat the main points
Perhaps it will seem to you that stating the main points of an idea once is enough, and that the audience will keep in mind the most important things in the speech. Here, I'm sorry but it's not like that. If you have any main points you want to address, whether you need to address a crowd or want to argue a discussion with a friend, if you reaffirm the main points of the idea, perhaps at the end of the speech or conversation, your message it will be more outlined and you will have argued more clearly.
Pretend you're writing an essay. You have to repeat the main points at the end of each paragraph and in the conclusion, right? Well, speaking is not that different
Step 8. Use concrete examples to capture the audience
Concrete examples are inevitable in any speech or conversation. Whether you want to convince an audience to use renewable energy or your best friend to ditch her nerdy boyfriend, you need to present true, real facts that grab people's attention. Use statistics, anecdotes, or stories that can prove what you are saying effectively. Remember, you don't have to feed the audience a million stats - rather use a few key points that everyone will truly remember.
Tell a story or two. If you need to give a speech, a story at the beginning or at the end can be helpful in presenting your arguments in a more humane way
Method 3 of 3: Perfect Speaking Skills
Step 1. Find a way to relax
Start by greeting the audience. It takes your time and calms your nerves. Pause, smile, and count to three before saying anything. ("One. Two. Three." Pause. Begin.) Transform the energy of tension into enthusiasm. You just have to find the one that works for you. Maybe a cup of peppermint tea is okay with you before you talk. Maybe you need to take a sip of water every five minutes. Once you have found a trick that works, always use it.
You can also find a way to relax when you talk to friends. Find something that calms you down when talking makes you anxious, whether it's a simple stress ball in your coat pocket or smiling more often
Step 2. Practice, practice, practice
Practice aloud with all the equipment you plan to use. Review until you feel confident. Work on connectives and words in general; exercise, pause and breathe. Practice with a timer and leave some extra time for the unexpected. The more you practice, the more natural you will feel and the better you will speak. And the more confident you feel about the things you need to say, the more confident you will have when challenging yourself with an audience.
Step 3. Don't apologize
If you are tense and have accidentally mispronounced a word, don't get all the audience's attention on the mistake by apologizing for it. Go ahead with what you have to say and people will forget it. Saying "Sorry, I'm a little upset", or "Oops, what a shame" will only make things more embarrassing and unpleasant. Everyone makes mistakes, and there's no need to admit yours unless you're very, very good at self-mockery.
Step 4. Focus on the message - not the medium
Don't focus on anxiety but rather on the message and the audience. The most important thing is to demonstrate an idea, not to demonstrate an idea by wanting to be like Steve Jobs on stage. If you take your attention away from yourself, you will feel more like a messenger than "yourself", which will make you feel much less pressured. Before you speak, remind yourself of how important the message you have to give to everyone is, and why you have to give it to everyone. This way you will stop worrying about not talking too fast or not sweating.
Step 5. Gain experience
More than anything else, the speech must represent you - as an authority and as a person. Experience brings confidence, which is the key to speaking effectively. When you can, speak in public and give public speeches to help you succeed. Even if you just want to talk confidentially with friends or strangers, the more you do it, the better you get. Just like in everything else.
Step 6. Keep in mind that your listeners want you to speak well
The public wants you to be interesting, inspiring, informative, and fun. Cheer for you. Have a positive judgment on what you need to do even before you start and know that no one wants you to get confused, wrapped up or forget the things to say. Everyone wants the best for you, and you have to want it too. Talking can be scary, whether you have to do it in a stadium or in front of your classmates, and everyone wants you to do your best.
Advice
With practice, you can really perfect yourself. If you have to give a speech, rehearse in advance and when the big day comes, you will be clearer and more confident
Warnings
- In addition to saying your ideas, don't forget to listen to those of others too! Otherwise others will think that you are self-centered, and you will lose value in their eyes.
- Remember that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Don't show off your self-confidence, or you will come off as arrogant and conceited. There is nothing worse than being someone who believes their ideas are better than anyone else's.
