If you're notorious for bumping into sliding glass doors, nearly hitting a pedestrian when you were driving, or standing right behind your best friend in the coffee shop queue for ten minutes without noticing her, then you may need to hone these observation skills. All you have to do is be aware of your surroundings, slow down and pay more attention to details. You will be amazed at what you realize you have been missing so far!
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Changing Mindsets
Step 1. Listen to your instincts
Part of being more attentive is becoming aware of what your body is telling you. This can't always be described logically - it simply means listening to your inner self. Do you feel like you are in an awkward situation, but you don't know why? Do you suddenly feel in danger as you walk to your car? Chances are good that your instincts are right and you should listen to what you are feeling internally, even if you can't explain why.
Many people are not observers because they ignore everything they cannot see or feel clearly. You can get a sense of being in danger - you don't have to ignore this feeling just because you can't see the bad man
Step 2. Become more aware
Another factor of awareness is being able to know yourself and be aware of who you are, how you behave and what you convey. This does not mean that you should obsess over yourself, but it does mean that you should have a perception of the kind of energy you give off; Do people see you as shy, outgoing, friendly, or mysterious? Knowing yourself in the first place will help you observe others and have a better perception of what is happening in the world.
Step 3. Pay more attention to others than to yourself
This is something you will need to do to shift your focus outward. Many people are not careful, because they are so self-referential that they only care about how they see or project themselves in any possible interaction. If you are always thinking about your every move, then how are you going to really notice anything about your friends, teachers or colleagues? It is important to be self-aware, but if you cross the line of being self-centered, then you will preclude yourself from many key observations.
Check yourself the next time you talk to a new friend. Are you constantly worried about what to say or do or are you so busy listening to what your friend wants to tell you that you really forget about you?
Step 4. Ask yourself questions
While you shouldn't ask too many questions about what you are not experiencing right now, you should still keep your mind active when you are observing something, so that you have the optimal perception of what is happening. Ask yourself: How does this person really feel? What is the difference between what he says and what he really feels? How many people in this room are in a good mood? How many people wear black? Keep your mind busy and push yourself to find out what is really going on in a certain situation.
By training your observation skills, you will be able to continue questioning the situation with full attention. At first, the transition to this curious way of thinking can be a bit distracting
Part 2 of 3: Pay Attention to the Moment
Step 1. Put aside distractions
The reason most people don't observe these days is because of the endless amount of distractions around us. If you are in a social setting, don't play with the iPod. If you are studying for a test, make your magazines disappear. Put away everything that prevents you from concentrating and notice everything that is in front of you.
Step 2. Hide the phone
Spending all your time on the cell phone is the easiest way to be completely inattentive, annoy the people around you, and have absolutely no idea what's going on. And also, if you text while strolling, driving a bus or usually spending time in public, you will be much more likely to steal something from you or run straight into a dangerous situation, because you have not perceived absolutely any clues about it. what was actually happening.
If you are having a real conversation with a friend, put your phone away and stop SMS communication with third parties. If you really want to observe what is happening, then you should only focus on one conversation at a time
Step 3. Take your time to really listen
Being a good listener is different from just being a listener. When a person is talking to you, pay attention to words, emotions, body language, and gestures to get the full picture of the person. Don't interrupt the person or just wait for them to stop talking so you can start sharing your opinion. Nod when necessary, comment when the conversation asks, but we don't say "that's right" every two seconds or the person will be distracted.
- If a person is telling you about a problem they are experiencing, don't jump in immediately to offer them advice. Sometimes, the person just needs to talk - and maybe they just ask you to sit there and listen.
- Pay attention to the details the person reveals about their life so that they can be referenced in the next conversation. If you accidentally see a friend telling you that he is going skiing in Cortina at the weekend, the next time you see him, ask him about his great trip.
Step 4. Use a person's appearance to see how they feel
Being attentive means more than just listening to a person's words - it means taking note of how a person looks and acts to get a glimpse of how they really feel inside. Your friend may also tell you that she is getting over her breakup well, but her eyes are red and puffy; Your boyfriend may tell you he's not that stressed out at work, but he comes home with his fingernails bitten to the flesh. People can say one thing and feel another, so you need to pay attention to how they look to get deeper into what's really going on.
Let's say your boss arrives with bags under his eyes the day you want to ask for a raise. If he behaves and looks worse than usual, then you'd better wait until the next day when he gets back to being the same person. Being careful in situations like this can help you benefit from them
Step 5. Observe a person's mood
It is difficult to explain exactly how to classify a person's moods, but pay close attention to behavioral changes to see how your friends or acquaintances are really feeling. To see if there is a change in mood in a person, you need to know the norm first. If your friend is usually grumpy in the morning, then it doesn't mean anything if she's grumpy when you see her before school; but if she is a morning person and looks groggy and like she hasn't slept, then something bad may have happened to her.
The mood is like an aura that surrounds a person: be careful to perceive the "vibration" that comes to you. A person can be upset, excited, nervous, angry, embittered, confused, frustrated, elated, or disappointed without saying a word about it
Step 6. Use all five senses
Engage all of your five senses when you are having a conversation with someone or even just when you are observing others. This is the best way to be fully attentive. Here are some things you can do:
- Use your eyes to observe and analyze your surroundings and the behavior of people wherever you are.
- Use your ears to pay attention to all the different voices. You should be able to distinguish voices amid a lot of noise.
- Use your touch to know the state of mind of people. For example, if someone shakes your hand and you find that their hands are sweaty, then the person may be nervous.
- Use your nose to detect any scents that are out of the ordinary, such as a sudden change in the smell of the area.
Step 7. Notice what is not being said
What a person tells you is just as important as what they don't say, so pay attention to what's absent as well as what's present. For example, if your friend has a habit of bragging about how amazing her boyfriend is and suddenly he isn't mentioned at all in the course of a long conversation, then maybe something has happened. If your mom was really excited about a big promotion at work and then she just wants to talk about what you did at school when she gets home, then maybe things aren't working out.
Often, people don't want to mention the disappointments in their life - or the things they want to keep private. Look closely at what is missing in a conversation
Step 8. Pay attention to body language
Body language can be another strong indicator of what a person is really thinking and feeling. If a person is standing straight, looking ahead, or ready for the next feat, then there is a very good chance that they are in a good mood and ready for success. If someone is slouching, hunched over, waving their hands all the time, or looking at the floor, then maybe things haven't been going so well for them today.
But, of course, if the person is behaving as usual, then body language can't mean that much - but if you notice something out of the ordinary, it can indicate a change in mood or emotion
Step 9. Note your surroundings
Don't just pay attention to people. Note how many cars are in the parking lot along with yours. Notice which bird species fly to the beach that day. Observe which fruits are sold in grocery stores and see if prices have increased or decreased since the last time. Keep your ears and eyes open at all times and look for something out of the ordinary, even if you're just walking down the street.
You can practice looking around when you are alone and then becoming more aware of your surroundings when you are talking to people
Part 3 of 3: Developing your Observing Skills
Step 1. Take a painting class
Painting lessons will greatly improve your observation skills because you will have to paint whatever you see, be it a beautiful landscape or a bowl of fruit. You will need to understand lighting, proportion and other key elements that will help you see what's really in front of you and also analyze it. You don't have to be naturally gifted to take a painting class. Even if you don't become an amazing artist, your observation skills will benefit.
Step 2. Spend time observing people from afar
Go to a coffee shop or park, grab your latte and see what people are doing. Pay attention to body language, moods, conversations and actions. You can look at people, in general, or you can look at specific aspects of them - unhappy couples, career-oriented women, best friends, people who are nervous, etc. This will help you hone your observation skills and get used to observing people from a distance.
You have to make sure you are not annoying. Don't watch children on a playground; do not do something that might arouse suspicion. Try to be discreet by bringing a book or something to do while you observe
Step 3. Make a puzzle
Puzzles allow you to pay attention to all the small details and see that each little piece is slightly different and can only fit in a specific place. Spending time alone on a puzzle can sharpen your mind and memory, while also allowing you to notice the beauty in the details of many different objects. On a broader level, this can help you reflect on the fact that while many people around you are similar, none are alike and that the differences are worth noting.
Step 4. Meditate
Meditation helps build awareness of your mind and body and will help you develop your observation skills throughout the process. Take some time to sit for 10-15 minutes each morning and / or evening, make sure you are comfortable in a quiet room and listen to the breath coming in and out of your body. Focus on one part of the body to relax at a time until you find yourself in a state of true relaxation and you will be able to notice all the little things around you, keeping your eyes closed.
Step 5. Do yoga
Yoga is based on awareness and, therefore, on observation skills. Doing yoga calms your mind, makes you focused in the moment and aware of what your body is doing and feeling in every possible moment. Practicing yoga a few nights a week will make you a calmer, more aware and sensible person. Having more control of your mind and body will make you a better observer, because you will be able to get rid of distractions more easily.
Doing yoga or meditation requires practice. Don't be frustrated if you can't focus right away
Step 6. Watch a foreign movie without subtitles
If you know a bit of a foreign language or have been studying it for a year or two, try watching a movie in that language without activating subtitles. Sure, you will have lost some of the plot in the end, but try to observe the characters and read their body language, moods, as well as the situations they find themselves in to perceive the context and try to understand what. it's happening.
- If you really want to see how good you've been, watch the movie again with subtitles and check how many things you grabbed.
- This will help you focus on more than words in any situation.
Step 7. Take notes
Taking notes isn't just for lessons. You can take notes wherever you go to help improve your observation skills. If you make notes in class, keep a separate sheet to write down stuff you don't need for exams - note what people are wearing, what mood the teacher is that day, if there are any birds by the window or what is there. general mood in the room. If you are in a cafe, take notes on what other people are reading, eating or saying.
You can be stealthy. You don't have to look at people and furiously jot things down in a small notebook. Write in a larger notebook and hold a textbook or novel in your hand so that people think you are taking notes on reading topics
Step 8. Take dance lessons
Taking a dance class will improve your observation skills, because you have to watch how the teacher's body moves and mimic those movements with your body. This will not be easy and you will have to put your body and mind to work. It will be necessary to isolate the movements and see how they all come together to understand what is really going on. Imitating each process will improve your observation skills, even if it won't be easy to make the right moves on the first try.
Step 9. Train your mind
Build logic puzzles. Play "Where's Wally?", The game where you have to look at two almost identical images and understand what is different between them. Open an account on Luminosity.com and improve your brain functions. Make an effort to keep your senses sharp, to notice new things, and to always wonder whether or not there is a better way to do something.
Spending as little as 15 minutes a day doing mental math can help you become more alert - and more committed to continually improving your powers of observation
Advice
- Try to observe things every day and make it a habit of yours, because at first you will often forget to "observe" around you. If you stick to this attitude several times, you will involuntarily begin to observe things around you.
- Never invade someone's privacy to spy on them!
Warnings
- If you are having a conversation with someone, don't stare at them all the time. You can always observe the person's body language in the pauses of the conversation.
- Don't show people that you are watching them - you may reject them.
- People may think that you are spying on them or that it is stalking.
